


We are powerless

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alex wants to fight everyone, Alternate Universe - Hunger Games Setting, Eliza is a cinnamon roll, Multi, so pretty much the same plus the Hunger Games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-07-11 00:18:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 47,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7014589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“District Four's tributes! Elizabeth Schuyler and Alexander Hamilton!”, Lee shouted into the microphone and Alexander reached out to take Eliza's hand without prompting.<br/>“Happy Hunger Games, and may the odds be ever in your favor!”<br/>People were still watching them. Eliza's hand was clutching his, though her face betrayed no emotion. Alexander swallowed and, once Lee was done, pulled her into a tight hug. “Smile for the cameras, Betsey,” he murmured, using the nickname only he had for her, “We won't let them know we're scared.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Helpless

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my first big project in like four years!  
> I'll try to update twice a week, I have enough chapters waiting to be published to give me time to still write during exam season (because I've been working on this for a couple weeks now and it's honestly taken over my life).  
> Hope you enjoy!

Four times he'd done this already. Four times he'd stood in the square with all the other teenagers around him, searching the crowd for his brother and hoping, praying to God that James' name wouldn't be called. His or Eliza's, or Angelica's or Peggy's. Now Angelica was too old, at least, having turned nineteen only a couple weeks ago, but Alexander still had two times to go after this.  
If he survived this year. It wasn't very likely because due to James' bad leg they couldn't work as much as they needed to, to survive without either of them taking tesserae, and Alex hadn't been about to let his brother put in his name more times than he absolutely had to.  
Now, 4 was a wealthy district, but there were always downsides. There were probably poor orphans even in the Capitol, and Alexander and his brother had just happened to be that unlucky.

So Alex had taken tesserae since he'd been twelve, and he'd been working twice as hard, clerking in a small store a friend of theirs owned and after work joining James who helped out at the docks the best he could.  
At this point, Alex had just lost count of how many times his name was in that big glass bowl he could see on the stage, and he was only sixteen.

Maybe someone would volunteer. It happened sometimes in 4, though their Careers weren't the same as the ones from 1 and 2. Mostly it was just crazy people, fishers with strong, muscled bodies who could handle a trident and most other weapons based on that. Alex would never understand them. Even if he sometimes imagined what it would be like after winning the games, with the possibility to provide for his brother and a possible future family (though he'd never have children) and with a pretty house in the Victors' Village that was always warm during winter and cool during summer – he still would never dream of volunteering. Getting out alive of the Games didn't mean winning them. If anything, Alexander was pretty sure most of the victors lost themselves in the Arena. If they weren't Careers, that was, because those were even worse than people in the Capitol. The way they always enjoyed killing, smiled at the cameras and told everyone how much they were looking forward to the Games while kids from all other districts were forced to face off against them. Every year someone who was not a Career won, Alex internally cheered for the victor, just out of spite.  
And others did the same.

Really, the only one in this place who was enjoying the entire charade was the man from the Capitol who only ever came here for the drawings. His name was Charles Lee and he always looked like he came right out of a kid's painting, in Alexander's opinion. This time he was wearing a bright yellow suit that wouldn't surprise Alex if it glowed in the dark, the lapels adorned with jewels that were probably real, and a blue wig. It almost hurt looking at him. He represented everything Alex resented about the Capitol. Their flashiness, the way they never took anything seriously, how they only cared about having fun. At least that was what Alex had gathered so far, it wasn't like he'd been there before. No one he knew personally had ever left the district.

Lee's arrogant, fake smile widened as he met Alexander's eyes who stared right back at him. They'd met once before in person and Alex had said a few not so nice things to him only to be dragged away by Peacekeepers. No one had been surprised.  
It wasn't until Lee looked away and cleared his throat that Alex realized he'd been blocking out everything that was happening around him and that the reaping was about to begin.  
Even though from the Capitol, Lee wasn't a man of many words, he enjoyed watching the events afterwards unfold much more.

And so before Alexander knew it, there was already a small paper in Lee's hands – the paper that would decide over the destiny of one of the girls Alex had grown up with.  
“Oh, we have a real local celebrity here... Elizabeth Schuyler!”

A lot of things happened at once.

Alex felt like all air had been punched out of him.

The crowd turned to look at where Eliza was standing, pale as chalk. Everyone knew Philip Schuyler's daughters, and everyone knew how kind and loyal and sweet Eliza was. So, for once, pity overwhelmed the relief upon not being chosen and Alex watched as the girls near Eliza reached out to touch her shoulders, apparently trying to reassure her.

“No! Eliza! Eliza!” That was Angelica, standing in the back with their father, but she was soon interrupted by another scream, wordless and horrible, coming from where the younger kids were standing. Peggy.  
Alex shook off the shock and pushed his way through the crowd, wanting to go towards her to reassure her, but the Peacekeepers pushed him back roughly. “No stepping out of line, kid,” one of them told him and Alexander wanted to scream.  
Peggy was only fourteen and all alone, and she had to watch her sister being ripped away from her.

“If you're done?” Lee's voice sounded annoyed but his smile was wide when Alex turned back to him. He could hear muttered cursing from the boys around him, all of them voicing their hatred for Lee quietly enough for the Peacekeepers to miss out on it. For once, Alex remained silent, just making the resolution to say all of the thoughts going through his mind to Lee's face at the next opportunity. And do some other things to his face while he was at it.  
For now though, Alexander just turned and watched as Eliza made her way over to the stage. She was shaking, he could see even from here. But she wasn't crying. Bless her brave, brave heart. When she reached the stage, Lee pulled her over and made her face the crowd, and she actually managed to give them a smile. Alex bit down on his knuckles to keep himself from losing it right there.

Yes, Eliza was part of one of the richest families of the district, but she didn't act like it. Neither did her sisters. They gave him and James food, sometimes even clothes, when times weren't as good. Sometimes, when their father was off doing business in the Capitol, they'd invite them over and Alex would braid Eliza's hair while she read to him from one of her books. She was so gentle, such a good friend and one of the few people Alex trusted with his life. After his mother had died, her and his brother had been the only people who could get him to talk for months. She was always allowed to touch him during one of his attacks, could always calm him down during storms and she was just always... there. Life without Eliza was as hard to imagine as life without his words or the ability to convey them.

“Let her win. Please, God, let her win,” Alex whispered to himself. She looked so lost up on that stage. A wild thought shot through his mind. What if he volunteered? That way he could protect her throughout the Games and make sure she made it out alive. If he survived longer than five minutes, that was.  
Lee's hand was still on Eliza's shoulder, his smile disgustingly smooth as he buried the other one in the bowl with the male names.

“Now...” Another small slip of paper, another destiny. Alex breathed out slowly through his mouth. Lee's smile widened.  
“Oh, this year is going to be interesting. Ladies and gentlemen, District Four's male tribute for the 70th annual Hunger Games is Mr. Alexander Hamilton! Come on up, Alexander!”  
People were murmuring, staring at him, but Alexander couldn't hear them over the sound of his blood pumping in his ears. His breathing was still even, his eyes wide and unfocused. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be. Alright, so a minute ago he'd thought about volunteering, but now the prospect of his own death seemed so... surreal. He was sixteen, goddammit! Yes, he should have died four years ago, with his mother, but he'd survived... only to die in the Games now? For someone else's amusement? Alex felt bile rise up in his throat and he quickly swallowed. He was still standing in one spot, frozen, even as everyone stepped away from him and the Peacekeepers approached.  
One of them grabbed him, but Alex still didn't snap out of it, even as they dragged him towards the stage.

His eyes searched out James in the crowd.

His brother was staring, a wild, desperate look in his eyes, and Alexander could tell perfectly what he was thinking.  
“Don't you dare, James!” he shouted, glaring at him. If he barely had a chance to survive the Games, then James had none. Not with his leg, and the rest of his injuries. And because all of them were Alexander's fault, it would also be his fault if his brother died.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Everything was sort of hazy. Had been for a while now, ever since he'd gotten sick. His mother had been first, starting to cough and throw up, her temperature rising rapidly, and a couple days later Alexander had followed. So now they were on quarantine, the only one allowed to come up to their bedroom an old woman who lived down the street. She brought them food once a day and checked up on them, but there was nothing more to be done, not without paying a fortune they didn't have.  
She'd already been there that day, the food still sitting untouched on the bedside table, both of them too weak to even reach out and eat. So hearing footsteps on the stairs confused Alex for a bit before his mother pulled him closer against her chest with a smile. “Your father, Alexander... your father is coming home...,” she whispered, and yes, that was it. It sounded right. Alex shivered and buried closer to his mother._

_It wasn't his father who opened the door, though for a moment Alexander thought it was. James looked a lot like him... but their father was gone, Alex remembered now. And James... “You shouldn't-” He was cut off by a cough and wanted to cover his mouth with his hand to hide the fact that he'd been coughing up blood for the past couple of days, but he was too weak and just turned his head to the side, drops of red liquid hitting the pillow._

_“Jesus...,” James gasped as he limped over to them, leaning on a cane that looked suspiciously like one of Philip Schuyler's. Wait... why was he limping? Why was there blood on his face and clothes?_

_“Jamie... James, sweetheart,” their mother whispered, voice rough, “What happened?”_  
_James pulled out a small bottle and smiled at them, and Alex noticed a tooth missing._  
_“J-James...,” he rasped and his older brother reached out to pet his hair gingerly._  
_“It's okay, Alex, it's okay. I got medicine, Mom, you'll both be fine.”_  
_That seemed to bring some life back into their mother and she managed to reach out to take James' hand. “How?”_  
_Alex rolled over to lie on his back, staring up at his brother, still not quite seeing him._

_“Stole it,” James murmured, “The... the Peacekeepers caught me but... I had two bottles and I hid one.” His voice sounded way weaker now and Alexander frowned at him. His mind was clearer than his mother's but it wasn't at its usual capacity. Still he could tell that his brother was in greater pain than he was letting on._  
_“Your leg...,” he whispered and James grimaced._  
_“Yeah. Hurts. I... I was at the Schuylers', Angelica patched me up... she said I shouldn't walk but I had to come.”_  
_Angelica. Of course._

_“Sit,” their mother commanded and James complied, dropping down on the bed with them, ignoring the state the sheets were in._  
_They were silent for a bit, the conversation having worn down both Alex and his mother, then: “Give Alex the medicine.”_  
_Alexander turned his head, wanting to protest, but he was cut off by the determined look in his mother's eyes. They were clearer than they had been since they'd gotten sick._  
“ _You can share,” James protested weakly. But he'd taken two bottles, Alex thought, that meant one bottle had been meant for each of them, and it wouldn't be enough now._  
_“James. Please.” She reached out and squeezed her oldest son's hand, and he caved in._

_The medicine tasted like the raspberries they'd once gotten on the black market, not too sweet and not too sour, and Alexander emptied the bottle within seconds, licking his lips after._  
_When he was finished, his mother pulled him close again and James sunk down to the floor, apparently not intending to move at any point during the day._

_And so Alexander fell asleep, feeling safe and protected with his family around him._

_The next day, he woke up with his head clear._

_And he woke up to his mother's arms around him cold and stiff._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night they'd lost their mother, and they'd lost James' health. The Peacekeepers had whipped him and beaten him up badly, and ever since then he'd had pain shooting through his body whenever he made a wrong move, and he'd never stopped using that old cane. There was no way he could survive the Games. Alexander's shout seemed to have snapped James out of it and the older boy nodded with a frown, worry clear in his eyes as the Peacekeepers pushed his younger brother towards the stage. Alex walked the last few steps on his own until he came to stand next to Eliza.

“District Four's tributes! Elizabeth Schuyler and Alexander Hamilton!” Lee shouted into the microphone and Alexander reached out to take Eliza's hand without prompting.  
“Happy Hunger Games, and may the odds be ever in your favor!”

People were still watching them. Eliza's hand was clutching his, though her face betrayed no emotion. Alexander swallowed and, once Lee was done, pulled her into a tight hug. “Smile for the cameras, Betsey,” he murmured, using the nickname only he had for her, “We won't let them know we're scared.”


	2. teach me how to say goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, thanks to everyone who left kudos! I'm here to deliver more angst. <3  
> Also I know it's kinda slow paced at this point but there's a lot of setting up to do. There'll be much more going on once they reach the Capitol and the other tributes show up.

It was scarier up on the stage, more real, with all those faces staring up at them, pity and relief mixed on them. Not many people cared about Alex – he got along with most of his district, more or less, but he didn't really have friends aside from the Schuylers. It was different for Eliza, of course. Her father was one of the most known and respected people in their district, and she had always used that position to help people. It was likely that every single person in this crowd had already gotten aid from Eliza in one way or another. Her sisters did their part, too, of course, but no one was quite as selfless and kind as Eliza.

“You'll see them all again,” Alexander promised her as they both faced the crowd, hesitant applause coming from a few of them. They were supposed to applaud, of course, they never would if it wasn't for the Peacekeepers and cameras and the omnipresent fear they all lived with. But Alex took the applause as what they meant by it. Good luck and – heh – may the odds be ever in your favor, of course. The odds had never been in Alexander's favor so far, and they probably wouldn't be now. But he'd die gladly if he only died knowing Eliza would be safe.

“If I see them again, you won't be there,” she whispered, staying close to his side and staring over to where her sisters were standing, now finally allowed to be together because there was no reason to separate them anymore. James was with them. “I don't want to live if it means watching you die,” Eliza murmured and squeezed his hand.  
Alexander was thinking the same thing. “I'll try to make sure you won't have to watch, then,” he said grimly. Maybe they could make it long enough for everyone else to kill each other, and then he could choose a quick, painless death so Eliza would be the only one left. That way Alex could protect her until the very end.

Both Alexander and Eliza flinched when someone placed their hands on their shoulders, making them turn around. George Washington was smiling at them, forced, of course, but there was still something calming about it. He'd been mentoring tributes for a couple years now and he was better at it than most.  
“Let's get you two inside. I know what it feels like to be stared at like that”, George suggested and Alex nodded quickly, still not letting go of Eliza's hand. “There's no cameras inside,” the man added after a moment, and well, if that wasn't relieving. They would have cameras around them for what would probably be the rest of their lives. And Alex was already fed up with them.

George steered them off the stage, strong hands still holding onto their shoulders until they entered the Justice Building and Alex shook him off. He didn't want to seem weak, like he needed George's help. Of course he eventually would need it, to get sponsors, but right now he was fine by himself.  
“You'll have to go to separate rooms to say goodbye to your families,” George told them and Eliza let out a quiet sound of distress, shuffling closer to Alex and squeezing his hand.  
“Can't we... bend the rules?” Alexander asked pleadingly. He really didn't want to let go of Eliza – not only because he wanted to comfort her but also because she was the only reason he was still holding it together. If he couldn't be strong for Eliza, then he wouldn't find strength at all.

“Alexander...” Eliza moved in to hug him. How she could remain so calm was beyond him, Alex was screaming and crying on the inside and when Eliza's arms wrapped around him, he started shaking.

“I can't do this without you, Betsey... I can't- I-” She was petting his hair and Alex buried his head in her shoulder, still barely fighting back tears.

“Shh, I'm right here. I'll be with you all the time, I promise. Just... right now, we have to do this, okay? Do as they tell us so we don't get into trouble.” Her voice was determined but Alexander knew her well enough to hear that she was close to crying as well. But she was still stronger than him, as she always was.

“Okay... okay, I'll... I can do an hour. It's only an hour, right?” He glanced up at George who nodded with a familiar kind of sadness in his eyes. Alex hated being pitied. He'd been pitied almost all his life.  
Eliza pulled away a bit and kissed his cheek. “I'll send Angelica and Peggy over so you can talk to them for a few minutes,” she promised, letting go of him and taking a step back. She straightened her dress and smiled bravely.

“Um... yeah, yeah, maybe James'll have time to see you, too,” he replied.  
The peacekeepers opened two doors for them, gesturing for them to move. Alexander swallowed hard and nodded towards Eliza before entering the room, the door falling shut behind him.

 

It took less than five minutes for it to open again, James limping in and glaring at the Peacekeepers as he leaned heavily on his cane. Alex had been pacing, ignoring the fancy interior of the room and the inviting looking couches, but he froze when his brother entered. “Shit, James, sit down,” he told him quickly, furrowing his brows. His chronic pain got worse when he was stressed, Alex knew that, and he also knew that James was hiding it.

“Alex... I'm fine. How're you holding up?”  
Alex rolled his eyes and moved over to gently tug James towards the nearest couch, pushing him down into the cushions before sitting next to him.

“Angelica will convince her father to let you move in so they can help you on your bad days,” he said, curling into James' side as his older brother wrapped his arm around his shoulders. “They'll give you food and clothing and you can finally get out of your job at the docks. Maybe Mr. Schuyler could let you do housework instead. That way you could rest your body and not do any heavy lifting anymore...” Philip Schuyler didn't particularly like them – he was a firm, rather distant man – but Alex hoped that once the old man saw him supporting Eliza in the Arena, he would give something back by supporting James.

“Alex, Alex, stop talking,” James shushed him, forcing a smile, “I'll be fine. I promise. You didn't answer my question.”  
Alex clenched his teeth, thinking of the thick scars on James' back, how he sometimes still cringed because of the pain from the old wounds, how on some days he was having a hard time standing at all, even with his cane.

“I'll make sure Eliza comes home,” he murmured, purposefully dodging the question. He really didn't want to talk about himself right now, or he would possibly break down right there and James didn't need that.  
There was a hand pushing his chin up and Alex reluctantly went with it, looking up at his brother.

“I don't care about Liza- I mean, yeah, I do, but right now I want to be there for you. We're family.” The only family they had left. And soon James would have no one.  
Alexander let out a sound somewhere between a whine and a sob and he buried his face in James' chest. He really wanted to curl up on his lap like he used to when they were smaller but he knew he couldn't risk hurting him.

“ 'm so scared, Jamie,” he whispered, “I thought... I thought I was ready to die. I should be dead. Then maybe Mom would still be alive, or you wouldn't have had to get the medicine and you'd be okay now. But... but I'm not ready. I don't wanna die, I- I have so much work to do. I want to change things, leave my mark on the world. I'm so scared, I-”  
James was petting his hair and Alex realized he was full on crying by now. He let go of his composure and started sobbing into his brother's shirt, clinging to him like he was his lifeline. And, in a way, he was.

 

Alex didn't know how long they'd been sitting there like this, but eventually he managed to calm down, and when he looked up again, Angelica and Peggy were there, makeup smeared from crying. “H-how's Eliza?” he managed to ask, sitting up slightly.

Angelica shrugged. “Keeping it together better than us, honestly.” Her voice was shaky and there were still silent tears running down her cheeks. Peggy was leaning against her side, clinging to her just like Alex was clinging to James.

“She's s-so strong. She d-doesn't deserve this.” Alex gently pulled away from James and got up, wrapping his arms around Angelica and Peggy.

“No,” Peggy whispered, “She doesn't.”

“And neither do you,” Angelica added firmly and kissed Alex' forehead.

“B-but it's still happening. So we gotta be strong,” Alex said after a moment and pulled away, glancing at the clock that was hanging over the fireplace. Five minutes.

“James...”  
His brother got the cue and got up, leaning on his cane but wrapping one arm around Alex. They stood like this, all holding onto each other, until the Peacekeepers came. Angelica and Peggy went with them willingly, not without giving Alex a last smile. “Be brave!” Angelica shouted before they lost sight of each other.

James was another story. He held onto Alex even tighter now, apparently willing to fight if he had to let go. Alex could feel hot tears wetting his shirt where James had buried his face in it.

“James, James... you need to go. They'll hurt you if you don't,” he whispered just as two Peacekeepers grabbed James' shoulders and started pulling him away.  
James finally let go of Alexander and let them drag him, stumbling along without being able to use his cane properly. “Come back to me, Alex. Survive, I know you can. You're smart!”

The door closed.

Silence filled the room.

Alex sobbed again, doubling over. “I won't. I'm going to die,” he whispered as a reply before sinking down to the floor and curling up into a tight ball.

 

A warm hand on his shoulder made him flinch and curl even more into himself, but the hand didn't grab him and try to force him to get up, instead it just stayed there.  
“Alexander?” That was George's voice. Oh, thank God it wasn't Eliza, he didn't want her to see him like this.  
Alex managed to get himself in a sitting position and blinked at the sight of a tissue being held in front of his face. “There you go, son.”  
He took the tissue and tried his best to dry off the tears and snot on his face – he'd never been a pretty crier. 

“Don't call me son,” he murmured, then, after a moment, “Thank you.”  
George's smile was just a tiny bit too patient. He got up and held out his hand for Alex to take, but Alex chose to get on his feet by himself instead.

“Let's get you to the train. You can eat and rest there. There's no cameras.” Yeah, right, and the Hunger Games are fun.  
Alexander decided not to voice that thought, wondering if keeping his mouth shut would become part of his new personality, now that he was about to die. Instead he just nodded and followed George out of the room.

In the corridor, they met Eliza, makeup smeared just like her sisters'. As soon as she spotted Alexander, she ran towards him, almost tripping over her dress, and threw her arms around his neck.  
It was a miracle that they both didn't start crying again, but Alex just felt empty and he wasn't sure what was going on in Eliza's head. But she didn't cry. Only shook in Alexander's arms as if she was falling apart. 

“You'll see them again,” Alex whispered to her, his throat tight, “I promise.” 

They broke apart, then, knowing they couldn't waste any more time, and their hands found each other. Looking down at them, Alex smiled. No matter what happened now, they would face it together. That was a comforting thought.

“Hey, where's that bracelet from?” he asked, pointing at the thin, silver bracelet around her wrist. It hadn't been there before, he'd have noticed – even though her family was rich, Eliza rarely ever wore jewelry. She claimed it felt wrong to wear something that was worth enough money to feed an entire family for a week or more.

“A-Angelica gave it to me. It'll be my token in the Arena,” Eliza explained and Alex nodded quickly. He didn't have a token to take with him. But he was glad Eliza had something to remind her of home.

“It's very pretty,” he murmured. Then they stepped out of the building and were welcomed by cameras. A drone flew close to them and Alex couldn't help but glare at it.

“Smile,” George whispered behind them, and when Alex looked at Eliza, he saw that she was following the advice. He forced himself to mimic her, though it probably looked more like a grimace.

They were lead to a car and got inside, curling up against each other. The drive was mostly silent, though George tried to do some small talk with the driver.  
After half an hour, they were at the train station and Alex got out first, holding out a hand for Eliza.  
More cameras, more people watching them, more forced smiles.  
Then, finally, they were on the train and the doors closed behind them.  
This was it. They were leaving behind their home and, if Alex was being honest with himself for once, neither of them was going to see it again.


	3. Alexander Hamilton, moral support

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Sunday! As always, thanks to everyone who left kudos and comments!

While the Justice Building wasn't any fancier than the Schuyler mansion, the train to the Capitol was a whole other story. Alexander and Eliza both got a whole wagon to themselves, drawers and drawers full of fancy clothes. Eliza even got jewelry. Their bathrooms had hot water and a huge collection of shower gels, shampoos and products that Alex didn't even know the use of. Not even Eliza did.

They separated only for a few short minutes in which they changed into more suitable clothes – Alex chose the simplest that he could find, black pants and a white shirt, and tied his hair back into a ponytail. 

When he saw Eliza in her light blue dress and fresh makeup, he felt only slightly underdressed.  
She took his arm and they both went to the dining wagon, now more relaxed because there were no Peacekeepers, only a handful of silent servants.  
“You really know how to dress appropriately,” Alex noted, smiling at Eliza, “You wouldn't even need a stylist for the Games. I could do your hair and you'd easily outshine everyone else.”  
This time he was rewarded with a real smile and even the hint of a blush. Maybe that was part of his job, too. Alexander Hamilton, moral support.

George was awaiting them at the table, thankfully there was no sign of Lee. Alexander's face must have given him away because George smiled and said: “I know, I don't like having him around either. But don't worry, he barely does his job anyway. You'll only see him when you're in public.” Well, that was a relief, at least.  
Alexander and Eliza sat down next to each other, still holding hands. 

“So... um...,” Alex started, “Should we... go over strategies or...?”  
George waved him off quickly. “No, no, let's not do that now. We can still do it over breakfast, that'll be enough time to figure out where to start. Once your training starts we'll know even more. Right now, we eat and the two of you get some rest tonight. It's better to talk about serious business when you're in a better state of mind than you are now.”

Alex sighed but Eliza's relieved face made him fight the urge to argue. There wasn't much to talk about anyway. Alex knew how to fish and he was actually decent at hand-to-hand combat from his childhood mostly spent in the streets. Eliza, on the other hand, knew how to smile and lead a polite conversation and dress up and be overall pleasing company. She'd never learned how to fight because she'd never had to face hardships like Alexander. Of course she was strong and fierce in her own way, but not one that would help her survive the Games.

They'd go through training, hopefully gain some new skills (though there was only so much one could do in three days) and then hope for the best.

A bowl was placed in front of Alexander and made him snap out of his thoughts. He looked up at the servant, a petite girl with dark curls and scarring across her face that Alex didn't want to think about further. He wasn't sure how Capitol servants, or Avoxes as they called them, were treated but he knew that it couldn't be a pleasant life.

“Thank you,” he murmured and the girl smiled politely at him as she set down bowls in front of Eliza and George as well, then disappeared back into what Alexander supposed was the kitchen wagon.  
Eliza was used to having servants of some kind, of course, but they weren't like the Avoxes. They were well paid and treated with respect.

She seemed to want to say something as she watched the door the girl had disappeared through, but then changed her mind and took a spoonful of the steaming hot soup.  
Alex followed her example.  
It was delicious but he couldn't quite place it. There was a faint taste of walnuts, he thought, and something he couldn't define.

“Guess the food's the only good thing about this,” he commented, and there was that look in George's eyes again. Alex didn't look at him after that, until he'd finished his soup and, surprisingly, had another plate put down in front of him. Oh, of course they wouldn't just stop at soup, they'd probably overfeed them for the next couple days.  
The meat, whatever it was, was perfectly cooked and all but melted on Alexander's tongue, but he had to stop about halfway through, pushing the plate away and resting a hand on his stomach.

“You know there's a dessert coming, too?” Eliza asked, smiling a bit but it looked faked, tinged with sadness. Alex thought back to how he and James had come over after Philip Schuyler's big dinner parties and one of the sisters had welcomed them at the backdoor, holding boxes with lots of leftovers. Afterwards they hadn't had to go hungry for days. At all other times, of course, the brothers had agreed that they wouldn't ask for more food in fear of being found out and prohibited from seeing their friends anymore. Philip Schuyler had always thought they were a bad influence on his daughters, after all.

“I have a small stomach,” Alexander murmured, a little embarrassed. Luckily, Eliza and George seemed to agree to not linger on the topic and the two of them launched an easy conversation about Capitol fashion. Alex didn't really listen, he just stared out of the window, watching the ocean. Soon enough, they would head into a different direction and leave it behind forever.

More Avoxes came and went, bringing their dessert, chocolate cake with a liquid core. Alexander didn't want to waste all of it so he took a couple bites, almost moaning at the rich sweetness.  
Eliza giggled and nudged him with her elbow. “You are so cute.”  
That made Alex huff and cross his arms. “I'm not cute. I'm manly as hell.” He stuck out his tongue at her, which made her laugh even more.  
After another few moments, Alex started laughing as well. It felt good, freeing, and even though it wasn't actually _that_ funny, they couldn't stop laughing until they were in tears, gasping for air.

“God,” Alexander breathed once he'd managed to calm down, “That felt great.”  
George cleared his throat, smiling at them, seeming amused.  
“It's refreshing to see my wards being friends for once. In the past years it was always... a little tense whenever we were all together.”

Upon hearing that, Alex sobered up a little. “I guess it makes no sense to bond, but Liza and I've been friends since we were little... we're taking care of each other.” Eliza leaned her head against his shoulder and George nodded, his smile turning sad again.  
“Let's just hope you can hold onto that in the Arena,” he said thoughtfully.

A few minutes later the Avox girl with the scarring came back in to get their empty dessert plates. “Hey,” Alex said, smiling up at her, “Sorry I didn't eat much. The food was really great, I'm just not used to getting that much. Are you getting food like this, too? Because if not then you can have my leftovers, I know what it's like to be hungry...”

“Alexander...,” George said in a warning tone but Alex only gave him a quick look.

“What's it like to be an Avox? We have servants back in 4 but that's different because it's just a job and they go home when they're done. I've always thought it was awful of the Capitol to just force people to work like that, but it's not like I can change much. Hey, why aren't you talking, aren't you allowed to talk?” Okay, maybe keeping his mouth shut was not an aspect of his new personality.

“Son...” George's voice sounded sadder now and he reached out to touch Alexander's shoulder.

“I'm not your son,” Alex said quickly, shaking him off and turning back to the girl, “Come on, you're safe with us, you can talk.”

The girl looked from him to Eliza to George and then let out a sob, shaking her head. Alexander was about to jump up and hug her and apologize when she opened her mouth and Alex and Eliza both gasped in shock.  
She didn't have a tongue.

“You're dismissed,” George said into the following silence and the girl nodded, looking grateful as she ran off.  
Alex looked down at his unfinished chocolate cake and felt sick. “Why...?”  
There was an arm around his shoulders and he gratefully leaned against Eliza.

“All Avoxes are people who are considered traitors against the Capitol,” George explained quietly, his voice much gentler than before, “They cut out their tongues... a lot of people think it's so they can't talk about the horrors they've been through at the hands of the Capitol, so no one finds out how terrible they really are.”

Alexander reached up to touch his own tongue and swallowed hard. He couldn't imagine what it would be like to not have his words, to have them taken away from him, to be forced into something like this. He looked up at George.  
“For saying something like that you could probably get executed. Does the Capitol know how you think about them?”

George chuckled at that. “Alexander, all mentors who weren't Careers before hate the Capitol for the Games, for what they do to our districts, for the unnecessary poverty everywhere. It's no secret. We're just not supposed to talk about it publicly because-”  
“But we should change something, then!” Alex interrupted, “It's not right, you have a great public image, you even know the king! I've seen you two on tv! Couldn't you talk to him?”

“You really believe everything you see on tv?” George asked with a bitter laugh, “He respects me for who I am, but he's... a strange man. Insane, some say. But he definitely has no desire whatsoever to change the current situation. Why should he? He's up on top, he's in control and has all the privileges he can dream of.”  
Alexander rested his head against Eliza's shoulder. She sighed and started petting his hair as if to calm him. They both knew they couldn't do anything now. They only had a few days left. Maybe some day someone would come along and change things. But it wouldn't be them. It couldn't be.

 

After dinner, they moved to another wagon, with a few couches and a huge tv screen on one wall. Alexander curled into Eliza on one of the couches and watched the recap of the reapings in the other districts.

1 had a short girl with a charming smile. A volunteer, of course, just like her male counterpart. Both held themselves confidently, smiling and the boy even blowing kisses at the crowd. Dolley and Thomas. Two to look out for, definitely.

2 was a different story. The girl was forgettable, just a face in the crowd, one of many who called out to volunteer. The boy though, he caught Alexander's attention. Normally, in the Career districts, there were always dozens of people calling out to volunteer. This time though, there was only one voice. Slightly shaky, too, not confident like all the others. “I volunteer as a tribute!” The crowd fell silent and Alexander instinctively moved closer to Eliza when they parted to reveal the speaker, a freckled boy who looked very scared, eyes wide as he looked around like he'd expected others to volunteer, just like Alexander had. But he had volunteered, didn't he want to be in the Games? It made no sense. He shot the crowd a smile as they applauded for him and the girl and Alex took note of his name as well.  
John Laurens.

3 washed over Alex as he still tried to solve the puzzle around the reapings at 2.

He looked away when 4 was shown, not wanting to see the fear on his own face, not wanting to see James or Angelica or Peggy.

5, 6 and 7 were forgettable as well, nothing interesting about the tributes. And nothing dangerous. 

The male from 8 was a huge guy who looked out at the crowd with a grim smile and Alex couldn't imagine him sitting there and just sewing – he looked more like someone who could squash people's skulls with his hands. “He's gentle,” Eliza commented about that one, “Keep him in mind. You know, for alliances.” Alex took note of the name Hercules Mulligan.

9 was, once again, nothing interesting. 

10 was a couple, or at least friends, because they held each other's hands on stage and they both cried.

11 were a small boy, even smaller than Alex, who looked sickly and shared a name with Alexander's brother – and a girl, not much taller, who looked scared out of her mind and wouldn't stop shaking.

Finally, 12 was a boy with a wide smile and fear only reflected in his eyes and a girl who wrapped her arms around him as soon as he got on stage with her.

All things considered, this year they would all have a hard time seeing each other as enemies.

They didn't talk about the other tributes after that, all deep in thought as they said goodnight to each other, George leaving for his wagon and Alexander and Eliza for theirs. Eliza went to change and brush her teeth quickly and returned just when Alex got done as well. He'd pulled on the warmest pajamas he could find, feeling as if he was inside of a cloud and was curled up in bed when Eliza entered.

“Liza...,” he murmured, lifting one arm and his best friend complied, slipping underneath the blanket and curling up against his side. Alexander started petting her hair and listened to her breathing slowly going even.  
The train wasn't making any noises, there was only the sound of Eliza's breath, and Alex laid on his back, staring into the darkness until tiredness finally overwhelmed him and his eyes fell shut.


	4. Strategy and Fortune

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Wednesday! This is the last preamble chapter before we finally get to meet the other tributes! Also I know it may seem like I'm setting up something cliche this time around, but trust me in this, it'll be anything but.

Alexander's dreams were plagued with images of previous Games, mixed with memories of his mother, even his father payed him a visit. But he did not wake up. Not until the blanket was pulled away anyway and he shivered in the cool air.  
“Don' wanna,” he mumbled, turning over and burying his head in the pillow.

“Get your ass out of bed, today is the first day of the rest of your life.” That was Lee's voice, and well, if that didn't make going back to sleep even more tempting.  
“How about you get your ass out of our room?” Eliza replied from somewhere above Alex and he snorted into the pillow.  
“Careful, sweetheart, your life might depend on me one day.” God, no one could sound slimier than Charles Lee. He'd turned it into something that almost resembled art, the way his smile always looked like it was plastered on, the sweetness of his voice.

Finally, Alex could hear the door swishing open and then close and he turned onto his back, blinking up at Eliza. “I hate this guy. Can I punch him?”  
Eliza was searching through the various drawers and finally turned to him, tossing fresh clothes onto the bed.  
“You can't just resolve your problems by punching people,” she chided and Alexander pouted at her. “But what if I really, really wanna?”  
She laughed and shook her head. “I get what you mean but save your punching for the Games.”  
“Fine,” Alex murmured and sat up, running a hand through his hair in an effort to untangle it. 

Eliza watched him with a fond smile before turning to the door. “I'm going to get changed. Meet me at breakfast?”

Of course Alex would rather not be alone right now, but he knew it was stupid to insist on staying together 24/7, so he just nodded and Eliza disappeared through the door.  
Once she was gone, Alex fell back onto the bed with a groan, just staring up at the ceiling for a few minutes. So they were going to arrive in the Capitol today. They were going to meet their stylists and then the opening ceremony would take place, with them being pretty much paraded around. They'd have to smile and wave and pretend they were happy to be there. Awesome.  
In the end, the thought of Lee coming back made him move and get dressed.

A couple minutes later he stepped into the other wagon and was once again welcomed by George's gentle smile. Still unsettling.  
“Good morning, Alexander.”  
Alex sat by the table and poured himself a cup of coffee. “Is it? The first thing I heard today was Lee, so...”  
George laughed at that and nodded. “Fair enough.”

They started eating in silence until Eliza joined them a little while later and started making some remarks about the food. Alex just focused on the sweet baked goods most of the time. When he was finished, he leaned back and eyed George.  
“So... what's our plan?” he asked, not willing to avoid the topic any longer.

George carefully put down his teacup and contemplated both of them. It only took a few seconds under his thoughtful, piercing gaze to make Alexander shift uncomfortably.  
“What are you good at?” George finally asked and Eliza huffed out a bitter laugh.  
“I can sew and cook. I'm good with children and I know how to act to make people like me. I know which colors of clothing match and which don't. I can apply liquid eyeliner. That's about it.”  
Alex looked over at her, frowning as he added: “You're also incredibly smart and fierce when it comes to protecting people you love and you're a fast learner. I bet it won't take you long to figure out fighting.”

Eliza leaned in to kiss his cheek, smiling gratefully. “No, Alex. I'll probably throw up the moment I hurt someone, even slightly. You know how I am.”  
That was true, she was the most gentle person Alex had ever met. But he also knew that she was stronger than that.

“Alright. Then we'll just have to work with what we've got,” George concluded, “Just try out different things during training and maybe you'll find a hidden talent. What about you, Alexander?”  
Alex had been prepared for that, of course. “I'm good at fighting. Hand-to-hand or with a knife. I'm small but fast. But I've never used any kind of ranged weapons,” he explained quickly, for once thanking his childhood, how often he'd gotten into fights, how he'd had to survive somehow because James hadn't always been there to protect him.  
“That's good enough. It would do you some good to train with a bow, maybe, but it helps that you already know the basics of fighting. And not fancy, rule-based Career fighting but the real kind,” George told him, “Now, to our strategy for gaining sponsors.”

Now Alexander leaned forward again, eager to hear George's plan. This was something they both really needed help with. Winning sponsors over was just as important as whatever was going to happen in the Arena.

“What I was thinking... well, people in the Capitol like a good drama. That's why they enjoy the Games and why they claim to be _emotionally_ attached to their favorites.” George's voice held thinly veiled disgust as he spoke and Alex immediately liked him a little more, despite all the pity.  
“So we're going to give them drama.”  
Alex glanced at Eliza who looked just as curious as him. “And how are we going to do that?” she asked slowly.

George smiled.  
“Everyone's seen how close you two are. How Alexander tried to get to your sister to comfort her when your name was called. It won't even take much of an effort to convince them that there's something more than friendship between the two of you.”

There was a long silence before anyone spoke, and when it happened, it was Eliza and Alexander both.

“She's like my sister!” Alexander exclaimed while Eliza stated, more calmly: “George, I don't even like boys.”

George snorted, shaking his head. “I don't care. They won't know the difference between a good act and reality. The Capitol is full of people wearing masks.”  
That was undoubtedly the truth.

“Alright,” Alex sighed, “I'm listening. Do we have to kiss?”  
Eliza looked about as grossed out as he felt at the thought.  
“No, no,” George said quickly, “Just a peck on the cheek every once in a while when there's cameras. Just stick to hand-holding and hugging, that should be enough.”

“Okay.” Alex nodded. That sounded reasonable enough and not too hard to do. In addition to Alexander's own _tragic_ backstory, it would definitely make people love them.  
He looked over to exchange a look with Eliza. She seemed determined as she met his eyes.  
“We can do this,” she said quietly, smiling at him, “People were probably going to assume things anyway with us sleeping in one bed and all.”  
Alex smiled back and took a sip of his orange juice. They could make this work.

 

Soon after they finished their breakfast, the train left behind the hills and behind the last one, the skyline of a city came into view.  
Alexander gasped and Eliza made a strange, choking noise.

“Beautiful, isn't it?” George asked with only a hint of irony in his voice. And purely by the optics of it, it was. The buildings were shining, reflecting the sunlight, and they were more colorful than anything Alex had ever seen. As the city got closer, he could spot more and more delicate decorations on them, and he was so captured by what he was seeing that he didn't even notice the train gradually slowing down. 

That was, until they reached the station and suddenly there were people outside the window, so many people, cheering and clapping and waving at them, even calling their names.  
Eliza next to him recovered from the shock first and started waving back, flashing the crowd a wide smile. After a moment, Alexander did the same, almost beaming at them, trying to look excited and happy to be there.

“How precious. Maybe you're not completely hopeless,” came Lee's voice from the end of the wagon.  
“No thanks to you,” Alexander shot back easily and he swore he could see George hide a smile.  
The train came to a halt, so smooth that Alex almost didn't notice.

“Come on, we're on a schedule,” Lee urged them and Alex rolled his eyes but got up just before Eliza did.  
The four of them left the wagon and were soon confronted with the full volume of the crowd. The doors were open and Peacekeepers were holding back the Capitol people. Alex remembered what George had said and reached out to take Eliza's hand.  
The reaction of the crowd almost made him flinch. They were applauding, cheering even more. George put his hand on Alex's shoulder as if to say 'You're doing good.' Then they were lead off the train and towards a huge building.

“Your stylists will be awaiting you inside,” Lee told them easily, “Just do whatever they tell you and maybe they'll make you into a decent looking couple.”  
Alex clenched his teeth but didn't make a comment on who it was that needed a makeover.

 

It turned out that Alex didn't get to meet his stylist right away. No, instead he had to go through about an hour of torture. By torture, he meant being 'prepared' as they called it.

(“Why do you have to pluck my eyebrows again?” - “Oh, honey.”)

When he was finally done, he felt as if he was a new person. The last bit of the familiar sea smell and the salt on his skin had been washed off and now he was like a clean sheet, ready for his stylist to do with as she pleased.

Said stylist's name was Fortunata and she was a short woman with gray hair tied back into a tight bun. Her eyes were yellow and seemed to be glowing.  
After examining Alex for a good five minutes without saying a word, she ordered him to sit down and offered him something to drink, which he declined.  
Fortunata watched his face for another minute or so until Alex got uncomfortable.

“So... what exactly are we doing he-” He was silenced by a finger being pressed to his lips and his stylist shushed him.

“You're cute. Small. We could easily make people like you just because of your looks. Do you want that?”  
Alex didn't have to think about his answer, just shook his head.

“What do you want, Alexander?”  
Now it was him doing the staring as he tried to figure out how to answer that. He thought of James, limping down the street. He thought of Peggy, screaming at the Reaping. He thought of Eliza fiddling with her token bracelet but otherwise hiding her fear behind a neutral mask. He thought of his mother, dying because no one had the heart to give them medicine.

“I want them to be afraid of me,” he finally said and he could feel a grin spreading on his face, “I want them to see that I'm more than just a scared little boy. That I can be dangerous.”

Fortunata's eyes lit up and suddenly Alex was completely sure that she'd been expecting that exact answer. He wondered if she'd read it in his eyes before he'd even known it himself.

“Well...” She ran an elegant finger down his cheek, smiling mischievously, “That can be arranged.”


	5. Tooth and Claw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Sunday! We've finally fully arrived in the Capitol, which means more action and MORE CHARACTERS YAY!

Eliza was wearing a beautiful blue dress that, whenever she moved, caused the illusion of waves. It shimmered like water in the evening sun and complimented her skin beautifully, in Alex's opinion. In addition there was a cape draped over her shoulders that looked like a fishing net, but when Alexander touched it, it was soft and felt like it was barely even there.

“You look beautiful,” he told Eliza honestly, smiling widely. The latter was a mistake, of course, because Eliza let out a loud gasp at the sight of his, sharp, pointed teeth.

“Oh, don't worry about these, I can take them out anytime!” he assured her quickly, grinning even more. He'd said dangerous and dangerous he'd gotten.  
His clothing only helped that impression along. Both shirt and pants were tight-fitting and dark gray, covered in tiny spikes just like a shark's skin. It looked a lot like very fine chainmail.  
His hair was out of the usual ponytail and instead smoothed back with gel, and his makeup subtly gave his face a sharper shape.

“You're a shark,” Eliza murmured, reaching out to carefully touch his sleeve.

“Fortunata said something about us contrasting each other,” Alex explained, “You're the beauty of the ocean and I'm the danger. So they never forget who they're dealing with.”

She was still smiling when they got onto their chariot. 

They hadn't paid much mind to the other tributes until now but Alex didn't really want to look at them anyway.

1 drew his attention, of course, because they were all made up in glitter and bright colors like always. 2... Alex tried hard to not look at 2. He still hadn't solved the John Laurens puzzle and it was frustrating because it would be fruitless in the end anyway. Laurens was a Career, it wasn't like him and Alex would end up talking much. Yet, when the first chariot started moving, he couldn't help but sneak a look at them.

They were made up to look like ancient statues and if they hadn't been moving, Alex would have thought they were. It had been a while since someone had focused on masonry instead of Peacekeepers as a theme when it came to District 2.

John looked... uncomfortable. He was standing as far as he could from the girl and forcing a smile that seemed about as real as everything else in the Capitol.

Then the chariot moved out onto the street as well and Alex lost sight of him.

“Come here,” Eliza whispered to him and Alex complied, wrapping his arm around her so she could rest her head against his shoulder. 3's chariot was moving now, too, and then, finally, their own did. They exited the huge hall and as soon as they were out on the street, Alex was almost deafened by all the noise the crowd was making. Eliza stood up straight again and raised her arm to wave at the people they passed, smiling widely.

Alexander grinned and did the same, even laughing a bit when he heard gasps from the crowd at the sight of his teeth. The cameras were on him, and for once he didn't mind.  
It was sort of fun, showing them that he wasn't scared. It was like laughing into all their faces, in a way, and Alexander waited until he could see his own face on the screen up close, then flashed his teeth, staring towards the camera.

The rest of the ceremony was more of a blur, really. They stopped in a half circle around the podium the king was standing on and listened to his speech about how important the Games were and how he wished all of them luck. There were some offhanded comments about their outfits, too, but soon they were released again and Alex turned to look back at the king until he was out of sight.

So that was the man who was controlling all of this. He looked more human than Alex had thought. Though... he didn't really know what he imagined. Maybe some sort of monster.

“God, I'll be so glad once I can take this dress off,” Eliza murmured next to him and Alexander leaned in to kiss her cheek, mostly for the audience.

“You can talk, I'm burning up in here and my teeth hurt,” he replied.

Eliza laughed and elbowed him in the side. “You don't always have to win at everything.”

“I know,” Alex answered quietly, “I'm not winning the Games.”  
They fell into an awkward silence after that. Eliza knew what he was planning, Alex was sure of that, even though he'd never told her. It wasn't like she could stop him anyway.

 

When they stopped in the hall underneath the Training Center, George was already there to welcome them. He helped Eliza off the chariot and exchanged a few quiet words with her. Meanwhile Alex hopped down to the ground himself and took out the fake teeth. It was a miracle he hadn't cut himself on them.

“Pretty impressive those things,” a voice said and Alexander spun around in surprise, glaring a moment later.

“What do you want?” he snapped and John Laurens took a step back at the hostility in his tone. 

“Relax,” he said, frowning as he raised his hands. After a moment he went back to petting the horse next to him. “I really just wanted to compliment you.”

Alex clenched his teeth but smiled after a moment, suddenly wishing he was still wearing his pointy teeth.  
“Compliment my stylist. It was her idea and she's the one who put all this work into it. Not that you'd know what it's like to work hard on something.”

People who knew Alex knew how passionate he was about topics that bothered him, of course. 

He didn't dislike John personally, he just disliked his lifestyle, his privileges and everything he stood for.  
Okay, he did dislike John.

The other tribute didn't seem to understand that though, he looked... no, not offended. Hurt? But why would he be? It was just the truth, after all.

“And where exactly did that come from?” John asked, now stepping closer instead of backing up.

Alex glared up at him, not willing to let himself be intimidated.  
“Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact that I never had enough to eat in my life or that I'm being sent to die while you're probably as spoiled as a Capitol kid and volunteered for this shit?” he suggested bitterly.

John's face softened at that. “Alex... that's your name, right?”

“It's Alexander,” Alex spat, “But I don't see why you should remember my name, I'm just another kid you can't wait to kill, right?”

There was a heavy hand on his shoulder again and Alex reluctantly let himself be pulled away by George.  
“No,” said a soft voice behind him but he decided to ignore it. Maybe he'd just imagined it anyway.

 

They took an elevator away from the others and up to their quarters. Once again, Lee wasn't with them.

“He's probably off trying to get sponsors,” George said and Alex huffed out a laugh.

“So he's hanging out with the rich people and getting drunk?” he asked.

George paused for a moment, then sighed. “I didn't want to say it like that, but... well.”  
Alex and Eliza laughed.

“Don't worry about it, George,” Eliza told their mentor, still smiling, “We didn't expect him to be much of a help, really. He hates us.”

Alexander shook his head. “No, Liza, he hates me. No one in their right mind could ever even dislike you.”  
There was a short silence, then Eliza made a noncommittal noise and shrugged.

“So what was that with John back there?” she asked, “He trying to form an alliance with us?”  
That thought hadn't occurred to Alex, but he still shook it off with a snort.

“Why would he? He's a Career, he's probably already in one with the rest of them.” There were Careers in 4, of course, and they often ended up in alliances, but even someone who hadn't seen their reaping would know that Alex and Eliza weren't. Alexander was too small and underfed, Eliza was too delicate. Neither of them really had muscles that would come from intensive training. Sure, Alex was scrappy, but that was all he had going for him.

“If he offers you to join, you should at least consider it,” George stated.

“No way. I'm not working with Careers,” Alex replied quickly, “If we're part of any alliance, it'll be other people like us. Like that boy from 8, Hercules.”  
If they sided with Careers, they'd probably get stabbed in their sleep on the first night. Alex had seen it happen before. Besides, it was a question of morals and integrity. He wouldn't be able to look himself in the eye anymore if he even considered it.

“Alright,” George said after a moment. He seemed to want to say something more but then the elevator doors opened and Alex gasped.

He'd thought that their apartment couldn't get any more fancy than what he'd seen of the Capitol so far, but of course he was proven wrong once again.  
Alexander stepped out of the elevator, looking around the huge room. There were couches and a huge tv screen on one side, on the other a long table already overflowing with food. There was a huge window that showed the lit up skyline of the city. Fancy chandeliers dangled off the ceiling and the floors were covered in carpets thick enough to muffle any noise.

But what captured his attention wasn't any of that luxury. It was the actual pond in the middle of the room.

Alex moved towards it and knelt down. It was salt water, he could smell it, and there were all kinds of familiar animals and plants in there. He touched the water and watched a swarm of blue fish turn and swim away from him. Suddenly he felt a tightness in his throat again and he got up, quickly crossing the room to where Eliza and George were already sitting at the table, an Avox pouring them drinks.

“Do you already miss the ocean?” Alex asked Eliza as he began randomly piling food up on his plate.

“Of course,” Eliza replied with a sad smile, “Since the moment we left home.”

“We used to play at the beach when we were younger... remember when Angelica found a dead jellyfish and we smuggled it into your kitchen, cut it up and mixed it in Lee's food?” Alex asked, laughing at the memory. It had been the night before the reaping when they'd been fourteen. Lee had never noticed, of course, but the Schuyler sisters had giggled throughout the whole dinner, and Alex and James who were helping out that night had been in the kitchen, washing dishes and laughing. Afterwards they'd met up in Eliza's room with a few bottles of wine to celebrate their victory.

“That was great,” Eliza agreed and giggled, “Whose idea was that anyway?”

Alex paused. “Um... Peggy? I think? She always has this kind of ideas.”

“True,” Eliza said, smiling fondly. God, Alex really had to make sure she would go back to see her sisters again.

They ate in silence after that. There wasn't much to talk about anyway. The day after, training would start, but they already knew what their strengths and weaknesses were.  
They'd simply try out everything, learn some survival skills, and hope for the best. And yes, Alex would probably try to talk up some people. He was good at talking, after all. And Eliza was charming. Maybe they'd find some people for an alliance.

When dinner was over, Alex got up, feeling more full than he had in... probably ever. This time he'd managed to ignore the Avoxes, though it still made him uncomfortable having them around.

It would only be a couple more days. He'd survive until then.

After saying goodnight to George, Eliza and Alex both went to their respective bathrooms to shower (which was a way more difficult process than Alex had anticipated) and then met up in Alex' room again.

There was a huge window that looked out on the city and Eliza walked up to it, pressing her hands against the glass.

“It's so beautiful, isn't it?” she asked, “Hard to believe that there's unhappy people here, too.” Alex thought of the Avoxes and wondered what their homes looked like. They probably didn't have any, just rooms in the houses they worked at.

“There's unhappy people everywhere,” he said quietly and moved to wrap his arms around her from behind.

Eliza leaned into him and sighed.  
“That's not very reassuring,” she told him and Alex laughed softly.

“No, it's not. But it's true.”

They fell silent again, looking out on the lights of the city. No matter how much Alex despised it, he couldn't help but find it enchanting.  
Just like an elegant predator, waiting to pounce on them.


	6. FIGHT ME!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Wednesday! Some bad news first, there might not be any chapters coming next week because I've got three exams to study for right now and even though I have more chapters finished, I'd like to keep my head start and not post anything without having a new chapter finished. That said, it's always possible that my inspiration will strike, so it's still possible you'll get something - maybe a quick interlude with someone else's POV or something.  
> Now go have fun!

When Alex woke up on the next morning, Eliza was already gone. The bed was still warm next to him though, so instead of getting up immediately, he curled up and pulled a pillow to his chest, trying to will himself to go back to sleep. Maybe if he just stayed in bed, no one would come get him and he wouldn't have to deal with the other tributes and Lee and Capitol people.

After a couple minutes, he admitted defeat and slid out of bed.  
Someone had placed clothes on his bed and he put them on without hesitation. The number of his district was displayed on his chest which made him assume that this was what he was supposed to wear for training for the next couple days.   
Alex tied his hair back quickly and made his way to the main room where Eliza and George were chatting animatedly. Lee was sitting at one end of the table, looking a little sour as he ate. But at least he was keeping his mouth shut for now.

“Morning,” Alex yawned, plopping down next to Eliza.  
She was wearing the same clothes as him and her hair was braided back to keep it out of her face.

“Are you nervous?” she asked him.  
Alex shrugged and started stirring apple slices into his yogurt. “Not any more than before the ceremony. I guess I'm just in a constant state of nervousness at this point.”  
Eliza nodded as if she completely understood what he meant by that.

“Alexander?” George asked and Alex looked up at him questioningly.  
“Yesterday Eliza told me you don't have a token yet.”

Alex frowned. “Plenty of people go into the Arena without a token.”

“Doesn't mean you should though,” George replied easily and placed a small package on the table in front of Alex. It was even wrapped up like a gift, with a bow around it.

Alex stared at it for a long moment, then stared at George, then back at the gift. No one ever gave him gifts. On Christmas and birthdays, him and James would try to make the day special by doing something fun that didn't cost any money since they couldn't afford anything more.  
“I-”

“Come on, open it,” Eliza urged him, grinning.

Another moment of hesitation, then Alexander reached out and unwrapped the package. “George...” He ran his fingers over the leather-bound notebook in awe. There was a pen, too, thin and elegant and Alex picked it up, turning it in his hands.

“Let's just hope they count notebook and pen as one,” George said with a smile and for the first time Alex felt the urge to hug him. Luckily he managed to fight it down.

At the head of the table, Lee snorted. “So cute. That's going to help you survive.”  
Alex frowned at him and raised the pen threateningly. “I bet I could ram this into someone's eye at least. Want me to prove it?”  
Lee glared at him, then turned back to his breakfast. “You're such a brat.”

Alex stuck his tongue out at him before looking back at George. “Thank you. I...” Back at home he couldn't have ever afforded something like that. He hadn't expected anything nice at all to happen after the reaping.  
“It's nothing, son. No trouble at all,” George assured him quickly and Alex decided to let the 'son' slide for once.

 

After breakfast, they went down to the gym. Technically they still had more than twenty minutes until training started, but most of the other tributes were already there, looking about as tense and nervous as Alex felt.  
Before they joined the others, Alex quickly cast a glance around. A lot of them were standing alone, looking kind of lost. 

Hercules was with the girl from his district, a petite blonde who looked no older than thirteen. They weren't talking.

Thomas and Dolley from 1 were longingly eyeing the weapons as if they couldn't wait for the actual training to start.

The two from 12 were standing in a corner, holding hands and eyeing the others.

And John... well, John was one of those who were standing alone, shifting awkwardly. Something about this image just didn't add up. So frustrating.

“Hey.” Alex flinched at the voice, turning around to see a girl smiling at him. The number on her chest was 10.

“Hey,” he replied, trying to match her smile.

“I really liked your shark costume yesterday. It's better than being dressed up as a cow anyway,” she told him, holding out her hand, “I'm Adrienne. 10.”  
Alex wondered if it wasn't a little early to make friends. But he supposed it couldn't hurt anyone now.  
“Alex. 4,” he introduced himself easily, shaking her hand.

Adrienne was one of those girls that could hold themselves confidently, no matter what was going on. There was nervousness and sadness in her eyes, but to anyone who didn't actively look for it, it would seem like she was relaxed and ready for anything thrown her way. She reminded Alex a little of Angelica.

“I'd say it's great to meet you, but... you know,” he added after a moment, waving his hand around in an all-including gesture.  
Adrienne laughed and nodded. “Yeah, you don't have to tell me. In any other place, it'd be a pleasure,” she replied easily.

“So... um...” Alex ran a hand through his hair only to have his fingers caught in his ponytail. “What's your deal, then? You're clearly not the everyone for themselves type.”

“No,” Adrienne said quickly, smiling, “Lafayette and I are going to do this together. They wouldn't let me out of their sight anyway.”

“They?” Alex questioned, looking over at the other tribute from her district who was currently talking to Eliza.  
“Yeah.” Adrienne nodded, lowering her voice and glancing around for any unwelcome listeners. “They're... they don't...”

Alex watched her for a moment before it clicked. “Oh, I know what you mean. I've read about it before.” His mother had owned some ancient books from a time before the war, before the districts. Forbidden books, of course. That was how Alex had figured out that he was bisexual, too, instead of there being something wrong with him. Freedom and individuality weren't really encouraged nowadays, after all.

“They're planning on revealing it at the interviews. As a big fuck you to the Capitol,” Adrienne explained and Alexander couldn't help but laugh.

“I like them already.”

He didn't get a chance to speak with Lafayette personally though, because that was when they were called together by a tough-looking woman who told them to “shut the fuck up and listen”.  
Eliza was back at his side and Alex reached out to squeeze her hand again as the woman explained how training would work. They were allowed to practice whatever craft they wanted and she reminded them to not forget about survival skills. She also told them it was forbidden to fight other tributes before the Games – a rule that left Alex feeling a little disappointed. By Thomas's exaggerated sigh and eyeroll he could tell that the Career was feeling the same.

After that they were dismissed and Alex and Eliza went for the range weapons first.

Alex wanted to save hand-to-hand combat for later and try something new so if anyone was watching him, they would stop paying attention once they saw how bad he was.  
He couldn't help but notice Thomas and Dolley practicing on dummies together, Dolley with just a knife and Thomas with two swords. They'd definitely fought together before by the way they danced around each other, never touching, never getting in the way. These two would be absolutely deadly in the Arena. Alex and Eliza would have to try and avoid them as long as possible.

Eliza had gone off to talk with a trainer who was showing her how to hold a bow correctly, and so Alex looked around for a weapon to pick.

His eyes fell upon a spear.

He'd thrown harpoons before, a couple times when he'd gone out on longer trips with the fishermen. They were always grateful for an extra pair of hands, especially because Alex didn't ask for much payment in return. Usually they just let him sneak off with some fish and that was it. But they'd taught him a lot of things about the ocean and about fishing.  
Throwing a spear couldn't be so different from throwing a harpoon, right?

Alex took the weapon, surprised at its lightness. He swung it around a couple times, pretending to stab someone with it, and ignored the laughter coming from somewhere behind him.  
If any of the others had a problem with him, they could come forth and say it. He didn't have time to bother with people making fun of him.

He took a deep breath and drew position in front of one of the target dummies. The distance seemed too big for him to really have a chance to hit anything, and so he was even more surprised when he let out a breath, watching the spear flying only to see it hit the dummy's shoulder.  
There was no laughter anymore.

Alex grinned, surprised and pleased at himself. Maybe coming from 4 would turn out to be an advantage after all.

He spent some more time throwing spears, getting closer to actually hitting the middle of the dummy's chest, though he never quite got there.  
Still, it was satisfying and reassuring at the same time, to know that he would be able to hold his own in the Arena, even when it wasn't in hand-to-hand combat.

When he was done and ready to change stations, he turned around to see how Eliza was doing... and froze on the spot.

There was no sight of the trainer. Instead, the boy who was leading her arm, showing her just how to properly throw a knife was no other than John fucking Laurens.

“Hey!” Alex was fuming and he moved over to them in a rush, glaring and trying to make himself bigger than he actually was. “I thought you'd gotten the message yesterday!”

John immediately backed away from Eliza, but there was no sign of guilt on his face.  
“I was just trying to help!” he defended himself.

“Oh, please.” Alex laughed in his face. “What game are you playing, huh? Trying to figure out our weaknesses? Already planning how you want to kill us, are you?”

“Alex...,” Eliza murmured, reaching out for his arm but he shook her off.

“Actually,” John started, taking a step towards him. He towered over Alex, just like everyone else did. “I was thinking about an alliance.”

Alexander blinked. Blinked again. Took a deep breath. Then he went on his tiptoes until their faces were only inches apart. John had freckles all over, like someone had splattered paint on his face. Under different circumstances, Alex might have flirted with him.  
Now though... his lips curled into a smirk. “Fuck off, Laurens,” he whispered and forcefully shoved the other tribute away.

“C'mon, Liza. We'll go find better company. Don't bother with the Careers,” he said, not taking his eyes away from John who didn't seem too surprised. Well, he'd already gotten a taste of Alex's temper the day before, after all. But he still looked disappointed. And angry.

“Fuck you, too, Alex. Maybe you should stop taking everything as an offense. I was showing Eliza how to _survive._ ”

Alex glanced towards the trainers who seemed to already be preparing to get between them, in case of a fight.  
“Knowing your kind, you were probably showing her the wrong technique on purpose,” he said coldly and reached out to take Eliza's hand. She seemed reluctant, but she took it. “Get back to your Career friends and think about _how much fun_ the Games are going to be for everyone involved.”

John glanced towards Thomas and Dolley who had stopped practicing to watch them, then to the girl from his district who was still holding her bow but was turned towards them in interest.  
“Fine,” he scoffed and walked past Alex, purposefully clashing their shoulders together on his way.

Alex turned to see him talking to the girl from his district and rolled his eyes. What a goddamn hypocrite. Just trying to be nice. Yeah, right.

“God,” Eliza sighed next to him, “Alex, I appreciate you trying to protect me, but John was really just- oh, forget it. Come on, let's get to one of the survival stations. I think you've had enough testosterone for today.”


	7. New Friends, New Enemies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I still have a lot to do in school, but I didn't want to let you guys wait any longer, so here you go!
> 
> A warning: the end of this chapter contains mentions of a suicide attempt (nothing explicit, they just say that it happened), so if you're triggered by that, you can skip where I marked the part with ***

They practiced on their own until lunch. After the scene Alex had caused, the other tributes seemed to want to avoid him. 

Well, Adrienne shot him a smile when they passed the station where she and Lafayette were learning how to camouflage themselves.

And James Madison from 11 introduced himself to them with a forced smile, but otherwise didn't seem to be bothered by them joining him at the station with the poisonous plants.  
Eliza and Alexander both didn't know much about plants since they'd grown up in an area without real woods, but Madison... well, he knew almost too much. Alex watched him take a test where he had to pick out non-poisonous plants and he didn't make a single mistake.  
Once Madison left the station, he turned to Eliza who was eyeing a red berry closely before putting it into the bowl for edible plants, getting a nod from their trainer.

“What do you think of him?” he asked, gesturing to where Madison had gone.  
Eliza shrugged. “He's smaller than you and every time he coughs I'm afraid his lungs will fly out. But he'd probably be helpful when it comes to surviving.”  
That about summed up Alexander's thoughts.

They headed to lunch after that with a way longer list of people to talk to than just that morning. Hercules. Lafayette and Adrienne. James Madison.  
That seemed like a good start.

And really, as soon as Alex and Eliza sat down with their food, the two tributes from 10 joined them at their table, both smiling widely at them.  
“So, are we going to stick together or no?” Lafayette asked and Alex was surprised by their boldness. Apparently they'd already talked about alliances just like Alex and Eliza had.  
“I... suppose?” Alex replied after a moment, smiling back. Alliances were risky, of course, not only because tributes often decided to call it off once they got an opportunity and turned on their partners, but also because getting attached and making friends was a bad idea.

It was already hard enough to look around at all the others, laughing and joking and imagine that they'd have to kill each other soon.  
Taking a life... that was something Alex was pretty sure no one could recover from.

The three others were still talking but Alex zoned out, trying to listen to the conversations around him.

“Hey.” That was Dolley's voice. Alex turned his head just a bit so he could see her and Thomas from the corner of his eye. They had just abandoned their food to sit with James Madison instead.  
“Hey,” Madison replied quietly, his voice not betraying anything.

“Heard you were good with plants,” Thomas said, “Now, we know how to fight but we could use someone with survival skills. Someone smart.”  
Alex clenched his teeth. Madison wasn't a threat to the Careers at all but he would be incredibly helpful when it came to surviving outside of fights.

“That's why you want me?” Madison asked, sounding almost hopeful. Having Careers on one's side always gave a great advantage.   
Alex tried not to think of John.  
“Well, yeah. See, we could protect you and you help us the best you can,” Dolley explained.

At that point, Alexander decided it wasn't worth listening anymore. He already knew what Madison's decision was going to be. One candidate less on their list.  
Next was Hercules.

Alex turned back to face Lafayette and Adrienne.  
“Have you talked to Hercules before?” he asked, nodding his head towards the other tribute who was sitting far off in a corner, watching the rest of them. For a moment, he met Alexander's eyes and Alex quickly looked away again.

Lafayette sighed. “Yes, I have. He... well, he seems nice enough but he says he's not interested in alliances. Said that I should understand it's not smart to get attached.” They looked over at Adrienne with a smile and reached out to take her hand. “Guess some of us have a choice in that matter.”  
Now that was something Alex could get behind.

It was sad and, to be quite honest, having Hercules against them didn't sound very pleasant, but it was understandable to want to protect oneself. They had no reason to trust each other, after all.

“So what's 4 like?” Adrienne asked curiously, capturing Alex's attention again, “I've always wanted to travel between the districts, but you know how it is...”  
E  
liza nodded empathetically. “Well... it's richer than most others but we still have our problems. Peacekeepers are the same assholes everywhere, I guess.”  
Alex couldn't help but throw a glare towards where John and the girl from his district were sitting. Their families were probably Peacekeepers, too. Or their friends, at least.

“Oh, but tell us what it feels like!” Lafayette interjected and Alex felt Eliza nudge him.  
“Come on, Alex, you're good with things like that.”

Alex paused for a moment to take a bite of his food that he'd almost forgotten was there.  
“It always smells like the sea, though I don't know if I can describe that smell because I never really noticed it until it was gone. If you were up very early in the mornings, you could go out to the docks and watch the fishermen leave for work and then watch the sun rise and the light be reflected on the waves,” he said quietly, “Eliza's dad used to throw big parties that lasted until the next morning sometimes and my brother and I would help out in the kitchen and try to steal some food. Late at night, when no one was watching, me and my brother and Eliza and her sisters used to sneak out to the shore and we'd take off our shoes and just stand in the waves and listen to the sounds of the ocean. And then we'd splash each other, of course.” He laughed and after a moment the others joined him.

“That sounds like a beautiful place,” Lafayette said sincerely, smiling at him.  
Alex smiled back. “I bet 10 is beautiful, too.”  
“If you like cows.” Adrienne murmured and they laughed again.  
“Well... if you don't like fish you're pretty out of place in 4, too, now matter how much you like the ocean," Alex pointed out.  
It was Eliza who concluded: “And if you don't like spoiled adults who act like little babies, you're out of place in the Capitol.”

 

After lunch, they went back to training and Adrienne took Eliza back to the range weapons to practice with a bow some more.  
Meanwhile Alex and Lafayette stayed behind to practice some basic unarmed combat. It turned out Lafayette had some experience in that field just like Alex had, and even though they weren't allowed to fight each other, they quickly convinced a pair of trainers to spar with them.

Instructions and praise were being exchanged while they moved with each other, trying to get used to the other's fighting style.

“Don't go headfirst through the wall all the time, Alex! You're small, try to use your elbows and knees more!”

“Your feet aren't just there to look pretty, Laf, move them!”

“Hey, I bet I could throw you if I tried hard enough.”   
Turned out Lafayette couldn't throw him and both tributes ended up on the floor, laughing, when they suddenly heard Thomas Jefferson's voice through the gym.  
“Why do you even bother practicing anything?”

Alex untangled himself from the mess of limbs that was him and Lafayette at this point and got to his feet, looking towards the source of that noise.  
Thomas had cornered the girl from 11, probably the youngest of them all and the one that was constantly trying to look invisible.  
“How about you just skip training and make yourself some nice last days on this planet?” Thomas sneered.

“That's Sally,” Lafayette whispered next to Alex.  
Alex frowned a little, his eyes searching for Madison.  
“Why isn't Mads helping her? They're from the same district.”

Lafayette huffed. “Hardly, really. The Madisons are the richest family in 11. Sally seems to be a simple worker. Or maybe a servant. They live in entirely different worlds.”  
Alexander thought of Eliza and nodded his understanding. The social differences were clear, even within districts.

Thomas wasn't finished yet, though Sally was trying to slowly back up from him. Tall as he was, he towered over her easily. “Look at you. You're one of those who die in the first five minutes and you know it.”

Alex didn't notice he'd left the ring until he heard Lafayette warningly whisper his name. But Sally was crying again and Thomas was smirking and oh, Alex was fully okay with getting into trouble if he could only wipe that asshole grin off his face.

“Hey, dickwad! How about you take on someone...” He'd been about to say 'someone your own size' but the closer he got to Thomas the more he realized how ridiculously tall the older boy way. Also well-trained and muscular. That would have stopped any more reasonable person than Alex, probably.

“Oh, you think you're going to survive any longer than her?” Thomas teased, finally turning away from Sally who cast Alex a grateful glance before hurrying away.

“I know I'll outlive you, at least,” Alex snapped, getting on his tiptoes. Frustratingly, that wasn't even enough to be on the same eye level as Thomas. “Because I'll be damned if I die before I can watch you realize that the Games aren't just... just games!”

Thomas eyed him for a long moment, then let out an impressed whistle. “Not bad, 4. You have fire. Have you thought about leaving that group of sure losers and joining the winning team instead?”  
Alex clenched his fists.  
“Over my fucking dead body, Thom-ass.”

Suddenly, there were two people grabbing his shoulders and gently pulling him away.  
“You'll get into trouble,” Eliza chided softly while Adrienne on his other side giggled.  
“It was pretty good though. I think he needed that.”

“It wasn't even a real fight yet,” Alex grumbled, still glaring at Thomas who was now standing with Dolley and Madison and laughing at something. Probably Alex.  
“You're a really short-tempered one, aren't you?” Adrienne asked, still grinning as the two girls let go of him. 

For a moment, Alex felt tempted to run back and jump Thomas but it probably really wasn't worth it. When the Games started, he'd get his chance to at least punch him or something.  
“Have any of you seen where Sally went?”, he asked instead, looking around for the small girl.  
Lafayette joined their group and pointed towards the door. “She was rather upset, so I guess she won't be coming back to training today.”

Alex sighed. “Let's just hope she doesn't listen to what the asshole said. She has as much of a chance as everyone else.” That wasn't really true, but the Games were unpredictable. Sometimes the least likely to win ended up surviving out of sheer luck.  
He glanced towards Eliza and wished her all the luck in the world.  
“Come on. Let's get some more work done.”

***

A couple hours later, they were all eating dinner, Eliza and Alex both hungry from a day of exhausting exercise but also euphoric because of their new found alliance and Eliza actually being decent with a bow once she'd gotten the hang of it.   
They didn't talk much. George told them that some people were considering sponsoring them, but they wanted to see how many points they'd get when they got the chance to show off their skills. That was good news, mostly.  
So they were actually all in a decent mood – aside from sour Lee who had only showed up to load a plate full of food and disappear into his bedroom.

The alarms blaring disturbed that pretty effectively.

All three of them shot up from their seats, looking around for the cause of the problem, when the elevator doors opened and Lafayette burst through, tears on their cheeks.  
“It's Sally,” they said breathlessly, “She... she tried to jump. Off the roof.” 

Eliza quickly approached them and pulled them into a hug, helping them calm down. Alex was still frozen in his spot.  
“She tried?” he asked weakly. Lafayette looked up at him and nodded.  
“There's a force field around the roof so nothing can happen, but... she got an electric shock. They brought her to a hospital to get her checked out.”

There was a whirlwind of emotions inside of Alex.   
Anger at Thomas, pity for Sally, hatred at the Capitol for not even giving them a choice.  
He took a deep breath.  
“I think I just found the fifth member of our alliance.”  
No one protested.


	8. Sept, Huit, Neuf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Wednesday! This is my favorite chapter so far (more John is always better)

The next day, training was oddly silent. A shadow was looming over them, and not even Thomas seemed to be able to take things lightly.   
Sally was there, looking physically fine, but she avoided everyone's eyes and just hovered around the stations, not really doing anything.

Alexander was still pissed at Thomas, but George had pulled him aside in the morning and warned him not to get into trouble – apparently Eliza had stabbed him in the back and told their mentor about his fights with John and Thomas and George was worried.

So, to keep himself from attacking Thomas, Alex had taken his new notebook with him to training, and he scribbled in it whenever he took a break. A lot of it were letters to his friends and James that he'd never send or just random thoughts – though he tried not to seem too rebellious in his words since his notebook would probably be checked before he went into the arena, to make sure he didn't smuggle in information that would give him an unfair advantage.  
Not that unfair advantages were unheard of, Alex thought bitterly as he looked over John swinging a sword at a dummy, easily beheading it.

Eliza was showing Lafayette how to apply paint to their skin in order to hide better and Alex was sitting next to them on the ground, his legs crossed as he wrote.  
Every once in a while, one of the Gamemakers, who were seated on on an elevated stage, threw a scolding glance at him but Alex just smiled and waved when he noticed.  
George would probably be mad at him if he knew that he wasn't practicing as much as he should, but to be honest, he'd lifted weights earlier and now his arms hurt and he was already sweaty. He just couldn't go forever, and three days weren't enough one way or another.

Besides, there were so many words he hadn't written yet. So many words inside his head. He hoped James would preserve all the loose pieces of paper lying around in their home. Maybe one day people would read them. One day when Panem was gone and the Capitol nothing more than a scary story you told your children at night, historians would look for documents from the time, and they'd stumble across Alex's journals.  
It was a comforting thought. Leaving a legacy.

The pen hovered above the paper as Alexander searched for the right words again – the ones in his head were good, but not perfect yet. Sometimes it took a while until he found them.  
So he leaned back and let his eyes wander around the room, watching the other tributes.

Within a moment, two of them caught his eye.

Sally and Madison?   
Why would they even be talking?

Madison was standing close to Sally, touching her shoulder, and Sally was listening intently to what the other tribute was saying. Then she gave a tentative nod and, to add to Alex's growing confusion, hugged the small boy.

Alex put his notebook down, frowning as Madison walked away from her. He got to his feet and approached Sally, trying to fight down his curiosity.

“Hey, you alright?” he asked gently. She looked tired, worn out and scared. Being way younger than all of them and small in stature, she immediately made Alex feel the need to protect her, especially after what happened the night before.  
Also they had all agreed they wanted her for their alliance, so he could as well take care of her now.

Sally wrapped one arm around herself and nodded absentmindedly, looking past Alex to where Madison had gone.  
“Are you sure?” Alex tried again, frowning a little.

“Yes...” Sally's voice was quiet, but calm, “You're Alexander, right?” When he nodded, she continued, “Thank you for standing up for me against Thomas yesterday. You didn't have to...”

“It was just an excuse for me to give him a piece of my mind, it was no problem, really,” Alex assured her quickly, reaching out to touch her shoulder. Sally leaned into the it. There were no words of comfort that Alex could say – there was no way Sally would get out alive if she wasn't the luckiest person in the world. Maybe Eliza would've had something to say, but she was still off with Lafayette.

“Hey... uh... so me and Eliza and the two from 10 are going to form an alliance...” he started awkwardly, watching as Sally's face fell.

“That's... that's really nice of you, Alexander,” she murmured, “But James... Madison, he already invited me to join him and the others.”

There had been a lot of things Alexander had expected, but not this.  
“With the Careers? With Thomas?!”

It meant a better chance of survival for her, of course, but Thomas had been a major asshole towards her and pretty much everyone else.

Sally shrugged. “He apologized. Genuinely. He was very kind to me this morning, James invited him over for breakfast and we... talked.”

“Can't judge you,” Alex stated. And he couldn't. In the Games, it was everyone for themselves, and Sally was taking an opportunity offered to her. Maybe she'd let Thomas and Dolley take out as many enemies as possible before slitting their throats at night. Going with the Careers was a smart choice, at least. Alexander just valued his integrity more than his life, apparently. Taking Thomas's offer had been out of question, and John was the same – just as bad, no matter how well he concealed it. If there was the slightest chance that working with a Career would help him keep Eliza safe, he'd take it, but he didn't trust them.

Alex sighed and stepped away from Sally, smiling sadly. “Good luck. And if Thomas ever gives you trouble again, just tell me and I'll gladly punch him for you.”

Sally's smile was a little more genuine at that. “You'd gladly punch him even without a valuable excuse.”

“Observant much?” Alex teased, feeling a little lighter. They would be enemies once the Games started, but for now, they were just stuck in the same nightmare. Might as well at least try to get along.

 

When Alex returned to where he'd left his notebook behind, it wasn't there anymore. He looked around the ground, trying to spot it, but it was just... gone. “Shit”, he cursed quietly. His words were personal, it was his choice who he showed them to, and now someone had probably taken them. Thomas. Or John.  
With Thomas off at the other end of the gym with his swords, it was more likely that it had been John who was just a station over, practicing how to make traps.

“Laurens!” he yelled angrily. John's head snapped up and he frowned confusedly before leaving behind his station and jogging over to where Alex was.  
“I thought we weren't talking anymore?” he asked, faint humor in his voice. 

Alex glared daggers at him. “Where is it?”  
“Where's what?”  
Oh, so he was pretending to be innocent? Classy.

“My notebook, you bag of shit, I know you took it!” He was trying to just be angry, but he could feel himself getting upset and he hoped John couldn't see.

John raised his hands in defense. “I didn't. I swear. Maybe you just lost it?”  
Oh, that was rich.

“I know where I put it! It was right here!” This was ridiculous, the notebook didn't mean that much to him, couldn't because it was just a pity present from George, but it was probably the most expensive thing that he'd ever owned and George would be angry about him losing it. Shit, what if George got so angry that he'd stop helping him find sponsors? It wouldn't be the first time someone dropped him like that over a small thing.

Alex turned away from John as his breathing sped up and tears gathered in his eyes. No, not again, not here. He was supposed to have this under control! He hadn't truly panicked since he'd been fourteen! And this... this was just some stupid reason. Leave it to stupid Alex to get worked up about something like this.

“Alexander?” It took him a moment to realize that that was John's voice. Way more gentle than he'd ever heard. A hand touched his shoulder and Alex flinched away violently, his heart beating fast. He needed to get out, needed to-

“Alex, Alex... I'm right here. It's okay.” That was Eliza. “Do you need to get out?”  
Alex managed to shake his head and only backed away until he could feel the wall in his back. It was solid, safe. He sunk down to the ground and wrapped his arms around his knees, trying to even out his breathing. 

A moment later, he could feel someone else's warmth next to him and he didn't even have to turn his head to realize it was Eliza.

“Count with me,” she instructed calmly. It was a method her and James had developed in the months after Alex's mother died, when the attacks had started.  
“One, two, three, four, come on, Alex, you can do this.”  
Alex nodded and breathed the numbers, repeating them for Eliza's sake.  
“... five, six, seven, eight, nine...” They said it together and Alex let out a sob then, leaning his head against Eliza's shoulder.

“Sorry,” he whispered. His chest still felt tight, but he didn't feel the absolute need to run anymore. Eliza had always had that calming effect on him. And other people, too, probably, but for Alex personally, she'd always been his rock.  
“It's okay,” Eliza murmured and Alex could feel her hand carding through his hair. “We'll find your notebook.”

“Jefferson took it.” That was a new voice. Alex didn't think he'd heard it before.   
He looked up to see the boy from 12 standing in front of them, his skin covered in leaf patterns – he'd probably been around the camouflage station for a while now, and like this none of them had noticed him.

“Jefferson?” Eliza asked, glancing over to where him and Madison were practicing.

“I'll kill that son of a bitch,” Alex murmured, starting to get up. Sally yesterday, now him? Didn't that guy ever learn his lesson? What if he did any more damage? Alex was going to be alright, but the target could have been Eliza, too.

Alex looked at the boy from 12. “Thank you...”  
“Aaron,” the boy said softly, “It's Aaron Burr. Don't do anything stupid. I think it's too late anyway.” He cast a meaningful glance towards Thomas. 

And John.

John seemed to be yelling at Thomas, but Alex couldn't make out words. The fist colliding with Thomas's face however sent a clearer message.

“Well, that was unexpected,” Aaron noted dryly, “I really don't wanna get dragged into this. I'll go find Theo.” With that, he was off.

Alex stared at John, his mouth hanging open as the other tribute returned with his notebook, grinning.

“You're going to get in so much trouble for this,” Eliza half-scolded him when she took the notebook from him since Alex was still mostly frozen.  
John shrugged. “So? Someone had to stand up to him.” 

It was the same thing Alex had thought the day before. Yet, somehow...  
Alex grabbed the notebook from Eliza and frowned.  
“I don't need you to defend me. We're not letting you into our alliance, and that's final.” 

He was confused, didn't know what to make of John, so he went with the safe path. The asshole path, probably, but it would keep them out of danger.

“Alex...” Eliza said softly and sighed when he turned away and started walking towards the fire station.

“Thank you, John. I'm sorry,” he heard her say, and he huffed.   
John hadn't done this for him. 

He hadn't. 

It didn't make sense. 

And the worried tone in his voice before had probably been just as fake as everything else here.


	9. Fuel To The Flame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy John Suffering Day™  
> Someone needs to smack some sense into Alex...

On the third and final day of training, Alexander woke up alone. 

For a few seconds, he was just confused by the coldness of the bed next to him. This was something he wasn't used to at all – at home they only had one bed so whenever Alex woke, James was usually sleeping soundly to his right, close enough for Alex to feel his warmth.

Now though, he felt weird because Eliza was gone. And the bed wasn't even warm, still, like when she'd left on the first day, so she had to have been gone for a while now. Of course Alex immediately got worried. 

They hadn't talked much the day before because Eliza wasn't happy with his treatment of John, which was completely justified, in Alex's opinion.  
He really didn't need help or protection, and especially not from someone who would stab him in the back sooner or later. Someone whose relatives were probably Peacekeepers, for God's sake.  
Though Alex thought that it had to be different for Eliza since growing up as a rich girl didn't make for many opportunities to see the Peacekeepers' cruelty up close like Alex had – like he had every day when looking at his brother.

It still wasn't an excuse for Eliza practically siding with him.  
It was as if she was siding with Thomas.  
Him and John were the same type of person and Alex was frustrated that Eliza couldn't see that.  
Then again, she always saw the best in people, always gave second, third, fourth chances when someone messed up. 

Maybe he should apologize. To her, not to John, obviously.

Alex got dressed in his training outfit and pulled his hair up before walking out into the main area. The sun was just rising, illuminating the city outside the large floor to ceiling window front that took up one side of the room. That meant he still had a lot of time until training actually started. Despite the early hour, there were already Avoxes rushing about, setting the table for breakfast. One of them stopped in front of Alex, smiling and pointing at him, then the table.

Alex swallowed and tried to ignore the sick feeling he got in his stomach whenever he had to interact with an Avox and quickly shook his head. “Thanks, I'm not hungry. I'll eat with the others when you're done preparing everything. Have you seen Eliza? The other tribute?”

The Avox paused, then nodded, pointing upwards and forming a word with his mouth.

“Roof?” Alex repeated and the Avox nodded again, smiling at him. “They should teach you guys some sort of sign language,” he murmured. Though then they could talk about the cruelty of the Capitol and the punishment for whatever crime the Capitol thought they'd committed would lose its harshness.

Alexander sighed heavily, thanked the Avox and walked off towards the elevator.  
Going from the fourth floor all the way up to the roof took longer than getting to the training facility and Alex started feeling a little dizzy, be it from the small space he was trapped in, be it from the movement he wasn't used to. Anyway, he was glad when the doors opened and he got out, fresh air immediately filling up his lungs.

Oh, this was nice. Why hadn't he come up here before?  
The city was spread out in front of him and for a few moments, Alex just stood there, marveling the view. 

Then he took in the roof itself. Part of it was a garden – a real, actual garden on a roof. Alex felt a pang of jealousy towards the Capitol. There even were trees.  
That was probably where Eliza was, as he knew her.

Alex entered the garden part and looked around curiously. He didn't know most of these plants. Then again, most plants he knew had their habitat close to water or in the water and there were none of these here.

After a few minutes of just walking around aimlessly, he could hear a noise and froze in his tracks. Someone was crying. And not Eliza either, the voice was too deep for that.

“Hey, it's okay.” That was Eliza.  
Alex started sneaking closer to where the voices were coming from.

“I'm here for you, if that counts for anything.”  
Who was she talking to? Lafayette? It didn't sound like them either.

The sobbing stopped, then.  
“We both heard what Alexander said. There's no way he's gonna let me join.”  
John.

Of course it was John.  
Who else? 

It always seemed to be him. And Eliza, with her kindness and compassion, was being fooled by his act again. Didn't she understand that Peacekeepers were not to be trusted? That Careers only wanted to win, wanted the money and fame? John had volunteered to kill them!  
Alex wanted to come out of his hiding place and confront the other boy, but he held himself back, curious as to how the conversation would unfold.

“Alex isn't the boss of me,” Eliza said quietly, “He wants to keep me safe, but sometimes he's a real dumbass. He has a temper.”  
A laugh. “Yeah, I gathered that much.”  
Alex didn't even have it in him to be offended. Especially not by the truth.

“No one knows what happens when the Games start,” Eliza continued, “You might end up with us, even if Alex doesn't want you to. There's three more people in this alliance and I don't think Adrienne and Lafayette are quite as prejudiced.”

“Prejudiced?” John repeated, a note of curiosity shining through in his voice. Eliza seemed to be hesitating.  
“You're from the Peacekeeper district. That's reason enough for him. I grew up as part of the upper class, I never really got into trouble. But Alex sees your people do awful things every day. They... they hurt his brother so bad that he'll never recover from it, and that was when we were only kids.” 

Alex was fuming internally. Eliza had no right to share personal information like that with an enemy. Couldn't she see that John was just grasping for things that could help him against them in the Games? And that wasn't even the real reason for his dislike of John! It wasn't!

“I'm sorry,” John replied, “But I'm not them. I'm not my family.”  
Yeah, right.

“Then you should show that. You should show everyone that you're not what they think you are.”

There was a short silence as John seemed to be contemplating that.  
“What would I do?”

Eliza laughed. “You'll think of something. Just don't go into the arena pretending to be someone you're not.”

“Thanks, Eliza.” John's voice was quiet now and Alex bristled.

He'd heard enough. 

And even if... even in the unlikely case that John was being honest, that didn't mean he had to go to Eliza with his goddamn problems. He was a Career. He knew how to survive, he had a real chance. People like him didn't even know what real hardships looked like.  
Alex decided that Eliza could handle himself and went back to the elevator.

Why couldn't Eliza understand that he was just trying to keep her safe? To keep them safe? Why did she have to see the good in every person they came across? And why did she have to be so goddamn trusting, too? 

Alex was very well aware that John hadn't acted like a Career towards them, hadn't been anything else but nice, but he'd seen enough Games to know that this was a common strategy. Make friends beforehand, then, as soon as they were in the Arena, kill them all in their sleep. It was something especially Careers had done before.

Briefly, he thought about Adrienne and Lafayette, how they could be planning the very same thing, but he dismissed the thought. He'd just have to be careful. In any case, those two were way more trustworthy than someone whose family were Peacekeepers.

 

When Alex arrived back on their floor, George was already sitting at the breakfast table, studying something on a small tablet in his hands. He was constantly working, even during meals, and Alex was more than grateful for that since it meant he was trying to get them more sponsors.

“Morning,” Alexander said, forcing himself to smile. Thinking about Eliza and John too much wouldn't help anyone. When they were in the Arena, things would be different anyway. John would show his true colors and Alex would be able to say 'I told you so'.

“Good morning, Alexander,” George replied without looking up from his work. Alex watched him for a moment, smiling.  
“George, you're buttering up your plate.”  
George paused and looked at what his free hand had been doing. “Oh, well. Not everyone can be good at multitasking.”

“How's the sponsor search going?” Alex asked, grabbing an apple and taking a bite.

George seemed rather relaxed, so that was already a good sign.  
“It's going fine. I already got three pretty rich people who want to support both of you. Eliza's father sent me a huge amount of money and told me if I need anything more, he'll be happy to provide.”  
Of course Philip Schuyler would do anything for Eliza.

“For me, too?” he asked curiously and George nodded. Alex wondered if that had anything to do with Angelica and Peggy. Four sponsors was pretty good. Alex knew that even a pack of matches could save their lives. And they would definitely need some kind of medicine at some point because they were likely to get injured.

They ate in silence for a bit before Eliza arrived from the roof, looking a little shaken. She joined them without a word and Alex tried not to glare at her.  
“So... about John.” 

Ah, no small talk. Just straight to the point. Alex huffed.  
“No, we're not even talking about this. I know you're falling for his spiel, but I'm not, okay?”

Eliza crossed her arms defensively and glared right back.  
“Are you even listening to yourself? He's done nothing wrong!”

“And what do you call volunteering for this bullshit, then?!” Alex was getting worked up. He normally never yelled at Eliza, but he was just so frustrated and confused.  
“He didn't! If you'd just talk to him for once, you'd know!”

“Oh, and what did he do at the Reaping, then? Did you and me watch something different? Because I think I saw him calling out that he volunteers at the first opportunity!” He'd stood up, hadn't even realized, but now he was leaning on the table and glaring down at Eliza. “Can't you see that he's playing with you? He's going to kill you, Liza! He's going to use your good heart against you and you'll die! I can't let that happen!”

Eliza's gaze softened and she reached out for him. “Alex...”

Alexander shook his head, holding up a hand. “Don't. Just... just don't, okay?” With that, he left the table and hurried back to his bedroom.

Sometimes he was jealous of Eliza. She'd been able to keep her softness, had grown up sheltered and without having to fight for survival.

Alex simply hadn't been able to afford that. Had shaken his childish naivety and optimistic look on the world at the age of twelve when his mother had died, when James had gotten hurt. He'd needed to be realistic – though people sometimes called him cynical and too bitter for his age. But Alex knew he was in the right. The world was shit and he needed to protect himself and his loved ones by building sky high walls around himself. Be careful, don't trust anyone. That applied now, especially.

Trusting people was always what got others hurt or killed. Alex wasn't stupid enough for that. Even with Adrienne and Lafayette, he knew he couldn't take any risks. They would never be friends, and Alex would be damned if he ever turned his back to either of them.

And once the Games started, once it was kill or be killed, Eliza would learn to understand the hard way.


	10. Evaluation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Wednesday! I was stuck on this chapter for a long time because I wasn't sure how many details from the book need to be in here. It's the last build up chapter and also hopefully Alex is going to start acting a little more reasonable soon... (who am I kidding? This is Alex we're talking about.)

Today was the day they would show off their skills to the Gamemakers and get their scores, 1 being the lowest and 12 being unreachable. Alexander hoped for a 7, maybe. Careers usually scored between 8 and 10, but Alex didn't have any illusions. He was small and fast and he'd improved his spear throwing skills quite a lot, but he still couldn't throw very far. A 7 would show the people of the Capitol that he was almost as good as the Careers, and that would be enough for him. Especially if the rest of his alliance scored similarly high.

Eliza was nervous about it, Alex could see, but he was still angry at her and he knew she'd get over it soon. All of them were nervous. Well, all except Thomas, obviously.  
Having been almost bearable the day before (aside from the notebook incident), he'd returned to his former arrogant and obnoxious self.

During lunch, he sat with Dolley, Madison and little Sally, and arm around Sally's shoulders as he boasted loudly about how he'd been the best at training back home and how he'd already outmatched their trainers when he was ten years old.  
Alex wished he could say something to counter that, but he'd seen Thomas fight and he knew that the bragging was justified.

Alexander himself, rare as it was, ate in silence, ignoring Lafayette and Adrienne's attempts to get him to talk. Eliza was sitting next to him, throwing him worried glances every now and then, but otherwise trying to participate in the conversation.

Adrienne and Lafayette seemed genuinely worried about him not talking, too, and that made things only worse. They were enemies and Alex needed to stop starting to think of them as friends. Just because they were in an alliance didn't mean they wouldn't end up fighting at some point.

He watched Lafayette cut their steak and imagined that knife being rammed into Eliza's heart. After that, he pushed his food away and looked around to watch the other tributes.  
John was sitting alone without the girl from his district. He was keeping his head down and seemed to be very focused on his food. Alex wondered if that had something to do with the glares he'd thrown the Career all morning during training. Not that he felt guilty. John was trying to hurt Eliza and Alex wouldn't let him, end of the story.

Soon enough, Thomas was called into the gym, leaving the room strangely quiet when he left. No one else really seemed up for talking. Hercules was sitting with his back to the wall, arms crossed, watchful eyes scanning the room. Aaron and the other tribute from 12 – this had to be the Theo Aaron had mentioned before – were off in a corner, talking in hushed voices and exchanging kisses every now and then. Alexander quickly looked away, not wanting to disturb their intimacy. His eyes fell upon Lafayette and Adrienne's hands, intertwined as they rested on the table, the two of them silent as they ate.

Alex sighed and looked over at Eliza. She wasn't meeting his gaze, instead watching John. There was another sting in Alexander's chest, but he refused to call it jealousy. He didn't care if Eliza made new friends, he just didn't want it to be people who would betray her sooner or later.

“Betsey,” he murmured and reached out to take her hand. For a moment, there was no reaction, then Eliza let out a deep sigh and her whole body seemed to relax. She squeezed his hand and shot him a tired smile. There was sorrow in her eyes, and Alex immediately felt guilty for yelling at her earlier. She didn't deserve any of this. It was John he was angry at anyway. John and Thomas and the other Careers and the goddamn Capitol.

“Sorry I was a dick,” he whispered, “I just-”

“I get it,” Eliza said quickly and, to Alex's displeasure, cast a quick glance towards where John was sitting. Apparently she didn't want to talk about the topic anymore. She probably knew Alex wouldn't cave. Maybe he should listen to her, but she was... she was naive, he thought. Too good for this cruel world.  
“We're all a little stressed. A little scared. I don't wanna lose you either,” Eliza added softly and leaned in to kiss his cheek.

Alex blinked quickly and wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. “Sorry,” he said again. He needed to stop being so stupid. He wouldn't live for much longer and he didn't want to be an asshole in his last few days.

“Don't apologize to _me_ ,” Eliza replied and Alex sighed.

“Liza, I can't. I don't see whatever it is you see in him. He's some spoiled Career kid, even if he was just being nice, he still doesn't understand us.”

“Maybe we should give him a chance to.” Goddammit. Why was she always so reasonable?

“But why are you so sure that he won't slit your throat at the first opportunity he gets?” He left out that he wasn't sure Adrienne and Lafayette wouldn't do the same – he didn't think they would, but he knew trusting them was too risky, no matter how easy it seemed to come to him.

“I talked to him,” Eliza admitted. Alex stayed silent. He didn't want her to know that he'd been eavesdropping.

“And you're sure he isn't just a really good actor?” he asked skeptically.

Eliza shrugged. “His Reaping wasn't normal, was it? Usually, there's at least half a dozen people volunteering in 2 every year. This year it was only him.”

Alexander thought back to the confused and shocked look in John's eyes after he'd volunteered and silence had followed.  
“He could've payed them not to. Could have bribed them so he gets all the fame for himself,” he argued after a moment. He didn't even sound convincing to his own ears.

Eliza pulled back from the hug to kiss his forehead. “Talk to him if there's an opportunity, okay? For me. He... told me some things but he made me promise not to tell you or anyone else, so you should ask him yourself. And no more fights.”

“No more fights,” Alex agreed begrudgingly, thinking about her words. She was good at judging people, normally, but Alex still knew they had to be more cautious. This was the Capitol. People were lying all the time, everywhere around them. And the Career districts were basically the Capitol as well, though not quite as decadent.  
Didn't mean he couldn't at least try to talk to John though. Listen to what he had to say to please Eliza and then figure out for himself if John was lying or not. He just couldn't allow himself to fall for any kind of pity story and let that cloud his judgment.

When he looked around, though, John was already gone, as were the girl from his district and the boy from 3.

Turning back to his food, Alex resigned himself to waiting until they saw each other again. Lafayette was watching him and Alex cleared his throat, forcing himself to smile at them. The smile came more naturally than he'd thought. _They're not your friend_ , he reminded himself, _It's kill or be killed._  
Yet, when Lafayette struck up a conversation again, he engaged in it, and soon he found himself laughing with the two of them again, all while still holding Eliza's hand.

 

Alexander's name was called soon enough, and he went into the gym. The Gamemakers were sitting together, eating their own lunch and talking quietly. Alex frowned and cleared his throat. “Are you going to watch me do something or are you just going to judge me by my looks? I'd obviously be happy about the 12 but I'd rather earn it with my skills.”

He smirked when the Gamemakers laughed and turned their attention to him. After giving an exaggerated bow, he moved to the range weapons and picked up a spear.

His abilities were, of course, nowhere near those of the Careers who had been training all their lives, but he knew that he was still pretty damn good in comparison to some of the others. His three spears all hit the target dummy, one even square in the middle of its chest, and when he looked up, a few of the Gamemakers nodded approvingly.

Afterwards, he asked one of the Avoxes waiting by the mats they'd used to spar before, and they circled each other a couple times before Alex threw the first punch, ducking away from the one that followed. He jumped out of reach and tackled the Avox, bringing him down with his own weight. Then he got back on his feet quickly and backed up, waiting for him to get back on his feet.

The battle took another few rounds of them sending each other to the ground until Alex finally landed a swing to the Avox's stomach that sent him stumbling off the mat.

The Gamemakers seemed rather pleased when they dismissed him. Alex shot them all a cocky grin and waved as he strode out of the room, feeling like he'd done his best.

He waited up for Eliza afterwards and she joined him not long after.

“So?” he asked with a smile and took her hand as they walked to the elevator together.

“A 5? Maybe?” Eliza replied with a shrug, “I just don't feel like I can do anything that's really impressive. Not in comparison to everyone else. I shot some arrows, but I was really nervous so I missed the first two... after that I hit bullseye once though, so I guess that counts for something.”

Alex thought of Dolley and her knives, of Thomas's elegant movements, the way he seemed to be one with his weapon, no matter what it was.  
“You'll do fine. No one expects us to score as high as the Careers anyway. We're still gonna kick their asses in the Games.”

Eliza smiled softly and, as soon as the elevator doors closed behind them, pulled him into a hug.  
“I know you will. Simply with your determination,” she teased and Alex laughed. Yeah, that sounded a lot like him.

 

About two hours later George came to their room to tell them the ratings would be announced in a few minutes. Alex had been lying across Eliza's lap, writing poetry and occasionally asking Eliza for advice. 

He didn't want to get up – Eliza had started playing with his hair a while ago and he felt sleepy and content and his words were getting slow which meant he could doze off any moment. But Eliza gently pushed him off his lap and got off the bed.  
Alexander pouted but followed her example, yawning.

“Looks like it won't be hard to convince people you're a couple,” George commented and Alex faltered. He'd forgotten they were supposed to do that. Well, they still had the interviews the next day, they could probably make up for that there. 

It did feel a little wrong though when he thought about Aaron and Theo sitting close to each other, exchanging quiet words and kisses, and Lafayette and Adrienne casually holding hands while eating, a constant reassurance that they were there for each other. But this wasn't a game, they needed to lie through their teeth to survive, even if it was basically stealing someone else's story.

“I don't get why people always have to see romance when a girl and a boy so much as look at each other,” Eliza mumbled, “Don't they understand that friendship exists?”

Alex smiled at her. She was way smarter than people gave her credit for. Well, next to Angelica, of course, everyone stood back, and Eliza wasn't the type to try and grab the spotlight.  
“I don't think you can make real friends in the Capitol as easily as in the districts. You'd always think they're faking, that they want something from you...” he mused and George next to him laughed and patted his shoulder.

“You're a smart kid, Alex. You'll go a long way.” The 'if you survive' didn't need to be put into words.

The three of them entered the living area where Lee was already waiting on one of the couches, a man whose skin was entirely golden next to him with, to Alexander's surprise, Fortunata. The golden man jumped up and hurried over to hug Eliza while Fortunata approached Alex, reaching out to cup his cheek. “I can already see you've kept your fire. That's good.”

Alexander grinned at her. “Just wish I was allowed to keep the teeth in the Arena.”

“If you'd only let me modify your real ones...” Fortunata sighed and Alex laughed, finally hugging her. “I'd have ended up hurting myself on accident.”

They all sat down on the couches afterwards, Alex resting his head in Eliza's lap, as the announcement started. The Games' moderator, Sam Seabury, was talking stupidly as usual and Alex didn't hold back from saying exactly what he was thinking. Aside from Lee, no one really minded.  
After almost ten minutes of useless babbling (Alex had counted), they finally got to the ratings.

Thomas Jefferson, 10.   
Dolley Payne, 11.  
John Laurens, 10.   
Martha Manning, 10.

“And you were stupid enough to refuse an alliance with those people,” Lee threw in and Alex glared at him.   
“They would've all killed us in a heartbeat. I'd rather not take the risk.”

They turned their attention back to the screen as their scores were announced.  
“And this one's quite a fighter, from what I've heard, Alexander Hamilton, with the impressive score of 9!”

Alexander sat up straight, repeating the number full of disbelief, holding still even as Eliza hugged him and George patted his back. That meant... sponsors would definitely not brush George off. A 9 was a way better score than what he'd expected.

They had yet another reason to cheer when Eliza's score got announced – a 7. Way more than what she'd thought, and still better than most non-Careers usually got. Alex could feel her relax in relief next to him and he pulled her into yet another hug.

Lee left after that, announcing that he didn't need to see the rest. Alexander thought that maybe he was just angry about their good scores. Lee would love to see him die in the Arena. Well, at least one person who'd be happy by the end of all this.

Eliza was a lot less tense now and she snuggled against Alex, eyes focused on the screen.

Hercules got a 9 and Alexander tried to fight off his unease. This boy was yet another player he knew nothing about and Hercules seemed to be making an effort not to talk with anyone too much. But a 9 meant he was definitely a dangerous enemy.

Lafayette got a 7, Adrienne an 8, both good scores, considering that neither of them had had training.

James Madison surprised them all with a 10, and Alex wondered just how good he had to be – did he perhaps know to fight after all or was this score really just based on his knowledge of plants? It couldn't possibly be...

Poor little Sally only had a 3, but they had expected as much. Still, she had an alliance she'd be save with for the first couple hours. Hopefully.

Aaron from 12 got a 7 and his girlfriend – apparently her full name was Theodosia – a 6. All things considered, their scores were pretty normal, just like in all other Games. Some tributes would be tough to take out, some could be faking an be much better than their scores let on. Alexander didn't want to think about that though. Tomorrow they would have to do their interviews and then it was off into the Arena...

Where he would have to kill.   
Maybe even Sally, with her brave smile, or Aaron, who had helped him against Jefferson without having ever spoken to him before.   
_Or even John,_ a tiny voice in his head said. Alex swallowed. If he had to fight against John, he would never win. But then again, that thought didn't make him feel better either.

He sighed and kissed the top of Eliza's head. “ 'm not hungry. I'm gonna go and write a bit, okay?”

She looked like she wanted to protest but he looked at her pleadingly and she sighed, pulling away from him so he could get up.  
Alex made his way to their bedroom without even saying goodbye to Fortunata or excusing himself to George. He just needed to be alone for a while and shut his mind up. He needed to stop thinking about John. If he didn't, it would eventually get him killed.


	11. Heed not the rabble...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Sunday!

Less than an hour into George coaching them for the interviews, Alexander already desperately wanted to be back at the gym. Hell, he'd even rather spend the entire day around Thomas than doing... this.

“No, Alexander, you can't slump your shoulders like that.”

“Son, this is the worst fake smile I've ever seen, and I work with Lee.”

“Just try not to look like you hate the entire world.”

“Don't fidget in your seat like that, you have to look comfortable.”

“Try to keep eye contact, son.” (“Call me son one more time!”)

In summary, it was awful and Alex was apparently a lost cause. Eliza, of course, had been taught how to act all proper and make easy conversation since she'd been born. But Alex... he knew how to _talk_. He knew how to make an impact with his words. What he didn't understand was the carefully constructed act that all people in the Capitol seemed to have internalized so well that they didn't even realize how fake they all were.

“I'm a street rat, George! Why would they even expect this from me?! I had to focus on surviving, I'm sorry if I don't know how to fold my fucking hands in my lap the proper way!”  
At that point he'd jumped up and stormed out to hide in their bedroom and write down a few choice words about the luxury of being able to worry about useless things instead of worrying about food and a roof over one's head.

Eliza, of course, came after him only a little while later and laid down next to him, curling into his side as he wrote. Neither of them said a word until Alex finally closed his notebook and got up, leading Eliza back outside to meet George.

There were a few more outbursts like that, but in the end, Alex was confident he could at least survive the couple minutes the interview would take. The only problem was keeping his mouth closed and staying polite. Their strategy for him was to be cocky and confident, because that was what he was best at, and also because the shark costume and his rating the earlier day already made people believe he was tough. 

Eliza, on the other hand, was supposed to be a little bubbly, which was what she'd been taught.   
“So basically you're asking her to act like Peggy,” was all Alex said to that and tried to catch a cheese cube with his mouth as he lay on the couch.

The day seemed to take forever to pass, and eventually Alex just nodded to everything George said, letting his mind wander off.

They'd managed to come up with a good love story for him and Eliza, down to the detail of where they'd first kissed, how their families had reacted upon finding out... yet, Alex still felt uncomfortable about the whole thing. And by the looks of it, so did Eliza.

Alexander had to keep reminding himself that this was about survival. Usually it didn't bother him to lie to people, he did it all the time at home. With stealing food came lying, and his way with words only proved even more useful in that area than in any others.

 

Eventually, it was time to get ready for the interviews, and Alex held completely still as his prep team got him into a navy blue suit – apparently they were going to keep up the ocean theme – and tied his hair up in a pony tail. His makeup was minimal, only a few hints of silver here and there. Fortunata insisted that he had a pretty enough face to not need any modifications. Alex didn't really know what to say about that; no one had ever called him pretty before.

When he met up with Eliza and the others in the elevator, he immediately congratulated Fortunata and Eliza's stylist for their minimalist concept, because she looked absolutely stunning in her coral dress, with only her eyes accentuated and her hair falling over her shoulders in beautiful curls. Alex couldn't resist to tug on one of them and Eliza swatted his hand away playfully, laughing.

“You're going to ruin it! I'm already scared it'll look awful once the interviews start. My hair doesn't like curling irons.”

“You look beautiful,” Alex told her sincerely, “Even if your hair doesn't hold.”  
She smiled and hooked her arm into his.

Together, they stepped out of the elevator, George and Lee only a step behind them. Like the training facility, the studio for the interviews was also in the same building. Eliza waved when she spotted Adrienne and Lafayette in the line of tributes and they walked past them to get to their position. 

Alex grinned when he saw Lafayette wearing silver flower pins in their hair and fake lashes, even though they hadn't seemed to be able to convince their stylist to get them a dress like they'd been hoping. That would probably be considered treason or something anyway, so it was only reasonable to be a little more subtle. 

“Looking great, Laf!” he complimented them with a grin and Lafayette beamed. 

“See? Told you so,” Alex heard Adrienne murmur and he smiled to himself.

They stood in line next to the two tributes from 3 and Alex demonstratively looked away from where John was standing with an older man. After a moment though, his curiosity got the better of him and he leaned a little closer so he could try and listen to the conversation they were having.

“- smile and be charming. I know.” John didn't sound annoyed though. More as if he was trying to be confident.

“And what are you going to tell them about the Reaping?” The man was clearly trying to be quiet, but he was one of those people who were audible even when they lowered their voices.

“That I feel very privileged and I'm happy to be able to win and bring honor to my family. And that I'm grateful that everyone else stepped away from this amazing opportunity to give me a chance,” John said quickly, as if he'd memorized all that. He probably had.  
Alex wanted to throw up.

“Good,” the man said and Alex saw him pat John's shoulder from the corner of his eyes. “Make me proud, son.”  
Son?  
So John was from a family of victors? Oh, of course he was. 

Alexander took a deep breath and turned away. So he had definitely lied to them. There was no way John wasn't in it to win it with a family like that.

It didn't hurt at all.   
Alex had been prepared for this.   
He only felt sad for when Eliza would have to find out. She was happily chatting with the two from 5, not having heard any of the conversation in front of them.

Alex bit his lip and took her hand, just as music started playing and the could see the stage on a massive screen that had been hung up in the corridor. 

Samuel Seabury, voice of the Capitol was skipping across the stage, beaming at the crowd. He looked remarkably... less flashy tonight. His hair was a nice and normal shade of brown, and so what if every visible inch of skin looked like it was covered in gold? Still a lot less eccentric than some of the styles Alex had seen in the Capitol.  
Of course Seabury was the most boring person in the Capitol, so it fit pretty well.

After a little welcome speech, Dolley was first to go on stage.  
She was charming and confident, easily chatting with Seabury, and her time was up faster than Alex had thought. 

Thomas was pretty much the same, except with a lot more bragging. His witty remarks drew laughter from the crowd and Alexander hated that smug smile more each second.   
Luckily, that was over soon as well. 

Martha, the girl from John's district, was more on the calm and quiet side, but she had something fierce about her that made the crowd, including Alex, listen intently to her every word. When she said: “I'm going to win this” Alex didn't doubt that for a moment. They'd need to take her out fast.

Next up was John, and Alexander tried to pretend that he wasn't feeling any anticipation. Why would he care what white lies John would tell the Capitol? They were all the same.  
He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms as he watched John enter the stage and wave at the audience with a wide smile. 

“Glad to see you here, John,” Seabury said as they sat down.

John smiled back pleasantly. “Glad to be here. There's no place I'd rather be tonight than here. Just look at this amazing audience!” The crowd cheered and John leaned back in his seat.

Once they'd fallen silent, Seabury turned back to John.  
“So... all of us here are wondering about your Reaping.” - a couple cheers and claps from the crowd - “There has never been only one young man willing to volunteer in 2, and I know for a fact that there were enough potential victors among the eighteen-year-olds. So why only you?”

John looked down for a moment, then smiled with a shrug. “Well, I guess they all wanted to give me the chance. With my father as the youngest victor 2 ever had, I have to do something great, too. Maybe my friends just didn't want to be in my way.”

Seabury nodded, as if that made perfect sense.

“I call bullshit,” Alex whispered and Eliza next to him nodded with a frown.

“And how did you feel when you realized you were going to be the tribute this year? What was your first thought?”

John was silent for a long time after that question, his smile faltering until it broke away completely and he lowered his head. When he looked back up, he stared straight at the camera and his eyes were full of determination.  
“I thought 'thank God I'm the oldest sibling'.”

Seabury frowned but Alex heard Eliza gasp softly and he instinctively wrapped an arm around her shoulders, still staring at the screen.  
“How am I supposed to understand that?” Seabury's voice sounded a little on edge now. This was unexpected, even for him.

John looked back down at his lap. “I have three younger siblings, Mary, Martha and Jemmy. Father always said one of us had to go to the Games, and as the oldest, I had the opportunity to volunteer first. I did it so they wouldn't have to die or come home as killers and have their lives destroyed.”

It felt as if Alexander's heart had stopped.

Then a lot of things happened at once.

The crowd started clapping, Seabury was talking but his voice was drowned out, several of the tributes gasped or made noises of sympathy. 

But the worst was John's father, who had been watching with them up to this point.  
“Get that boy off the stage! Get him off the stage, I'll handle him!”

“That's against the rules,” George reminded him, voice calm and authoritative as it often was, “He gets the full time and afterwards he's yours.”

“Wait, what are you going to do to him?” Eliza asked, pulling away from Alexander's grip, “You forced him into this, but if you hurt him, I swear to God-” She got quieter when John's father approached her, towering over her threateningly.   
Alex pushed himself off the wall to stand by her side, glaring at the man.

“So I reckon this is on you? Are you the two he's told me about? The ones he wants an alliance with? You and your _mentor_ ,” he spat the word as he glared back at George, “Probably fed him with your rebellious thoughts and now he's under the illusion that he can say what he wants without consequences!”

“Henry...” George said quietly but they ignored him.

“Of course he can!” Alex snapped, “He'll probably be dead in a couple days, so why the hell not? At least he can die letting everyone know what a dick you are!”

He didn't see the punch coming. He should have, but he didn't.  
Eliza screamed when Henry Laurens's fist collided with Alexander's face, and Alex himself stumbled back, his head ringing.

He'd taken beatings before, this was nothing. It didn't even hurt much. Tears shot into his eyes from the pain and he quickly blinked them away, trying to smile at Eliza to show her everything was alright. 

From the corner of his eyes, he registered a movement and before he knew it, Henry Laurens yelped angrily, rubbing his jaw where George had punched him. “How dare-”

“What's going on? Alexander, are you alright?” John.

“John...” Alex wanted to say something, apologize, anything, but he was cut off by Henry Laurens angrily grabbing his son's arm and tugging him away forcefully. John let himself be moved, but not without shooting one last worried glance towards Alexander who was rubbing his cheek now.

“You shouldn't have,” Eliza murmured, gently pulling his hand away so she could inspect the damage.

“I had to,” Alex insisted stubbornly and flinched when a hand was placed on his shoulder.

George smiled down at him.  
“As much as I'd like to agree with Eliza here... I have to admit I've been wanting to do that for a long time now.”


	12. ... who scream revolution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Wednesday! We're so close to the actual Games starting!

After John's interview, things were a little chaotic. The tributes were all whispering with each other and no one really payed attention to the tributes from 3 when they went up on stage.

“John told me his father was an ass, but I didn't think he'd...” Eliza broke off as Fortunata, who had pretty much appeared out of nowhere, shoved her aside and began to cover up the already forming bruise on Alexander's cheekbone.

“Oh, you know, I just have one of those faces that – ow - people like to punch.” Alex tried to hold still.

“It's not just you. He's tried to punch me before,” George threw in, “Henry Laurens just can't deal with people speaking up against him. He thinks everyone has to cater to him, and if someone doesn't act like he wants them to, he gets angry.”

“I hope John's going to be okay,” Eliza murmured, “That was very brave of him.”

“It was,” Alex murmured and flinched away when Fortunata prodded at his bruising cheek. “God, Liza, I was such a dick.”

Eliza huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, well. A fault confessed is half redressed, as they say. It's no use telling me that though.”

“I was a dick to you, too, though. Because you talked to John, on the roof. I heard you. And I got so angry... I didn't even hear you out or give him a chance. I should have trusted you. I'm sorry.” Alex bit his lip and only relaxed once Eliza had wrapped her arms around him.

“I get it, Alex. Don't I always? I know what's going on inside your head most of the time. What happened with James... that your mother couldn't be saved, that was all on the Peacekeepers. That's a good enough reason to not trust anyone from their district,” she murmured, “And you were worried for my life. You wanted to protect me.”

Alexander sighed heavily. Everything she was saying made sense, of course, but still... guilt was eating away at him. “I just hope I get to talk to John. Seems like he's had to deal with just as much shit as everyone else here, and I've only made it worse. And maybe...” He hesitated before pulling away and smiling. “Maybe we can even think about that alliance.”

 

Shortly after, Eliza's name was called and Alex squeezed her hand. “You can do this. Good luck,” he murmured and she kissed his cheek before walking off.

Seabury greeted her with a bright smile and complimented her on her dress to which Eliza replied that she was grateful to have such an amazing prep team and stylist. They exchanged some more pleasantries as they sat down, and then Seabury leaned towards her with a smirk.

“So, I've heard there is a special someone here with you.” There were a few cheers from the crowd again. “Tell us about Alexander, honey. We've all been dying to hear about the two of you.”

“Well... we've known each other all our lives. His mother used to clean our home and sometimes she'd bring Alex and his brother along and we'd all play together. I... I trust Alex with my life and I...” She let out a sob and covered her mouth quickly. “I'm sorry, Sam, it's just... he doesn't deserve to die.”

Alex swallowed and stared at the floor. It wasn't fair that she had to suffer like this. It wasn't fair that she was going to have to watch him die. But the alternative was her dying first and he couldn't let that happen.  
A warm hand touched his shoulder and he looked up to see Lafayette watching him worriedly. Alexander sighed and wrapped his arms around them, burying his face in their shoulder.

“But maybe he won't die,” he heard Seabury say, but he didn't bother looking up at the screen anymore. Lafayette was stroking his back gently and he melted into the touch. It didn't matter that they might end up enemies now, they were all just lost and alone and scared of the future – the future being the next couple of days because only one of them would have more than that, if even.

“Yes, he will,” Eliza replied and sniffled, “He won't let me die. H-he wants me to go home, s-so he'll have to... s-sacrifice himself. It's not fair! I don't want to come home without him!”  
Alex flinched and held even tighter onto Lafayette.

“I'm so sorry, honey,” Seabury said, voice dripping with false sweetness, “I'm afraid, your time is up now. I'll talk to Alexander and then you two can be with each other again.”

Alex sighed heavily and pulled away from Lafayette.  
“Good luck,” they murmured and Alex forced himself to smile as his name was called and he turned to walk towards the stage.

 

The flashing lights and cheers were more than irritating to Alex but he followed the advice George had given him earlier and just focused on Seabury. Not that that made it much better.

“Alexander!” the man greeted him cheerfully and Alex's fake smile widened as he reached out to shake Seabury's hand.  
“That was quite something with your girlfriend. I bet you can wait to go after her.” The sympathy in Seabury's voice was so clearly fake that Alex decided not to look at him as he sat in one of the two armchairs that were way less comfortable than they looked.

“I won't lie to you, Sam, I'd do anything to have her not be in this position right now,” he said honestly.

“You must love her a lot,” Seabury said sweetly and Alex wanted to punch that sickening smile off his face.

“I do,” he murmured, looking down at his lap. He thought about Eliza getting too emotional to follow their plan and be charming and gush about their relationship. He thought about the look in John's eyes in that split second when he'd decided not to play along anymore. _Like Hell am I gonna let Laurens beat me in that category,_ he thought and raised his head to meet Searbury's eyes.

“I love Eliza like a sister. I know you want to hear from me that I was planning to marry her and have a bunch of cute little babies because wouldn't that be beautifully tragic?” He stood up and faced the audience now. “You'd like to have a sad story to think about when you watch us fight for our lives there, wouldn't you? So you can shed some tears and then go about your daily business like we're not real people, with families who are never going to recover from losing us! I have a brother back at home and we've only had each other for years now and thanks to you and your bloodlust, I'm never seeing him again!” Alex took a deep breath and turned towards the camera. “James, I know that you're watching this, I'm sorry, I won't let Eliza die. You and Angelica and Peggy, you take care of each other. That's all I want.”

Seabury had stood up as well and was now approaching him. “Alexander...”

“No, I'm done!” Alex moved away to the other end of the stage. “What does it matter now? I'm gonna die anyway, we're all gonna die except one, and you? You won't even feel guilty! Instead you'll do the same thing to some poor kids next year, and the year after that, and the year after that! There'll be more innocent blood spilled and more families ripped apart and it'll all be your fault! All of you, living in luxury and once a year you get excited about watching people be forced to kill each other. You make me sick! The entire Capitol! So have fun and don't pretend to be sad when I die. The odds are in your favor, because you were born in a place where you don't have to fear for your lives. Happy Hunger Games!” He stormed off the stage without casting another glance at Seabury.

 

Outside, he was met by a very displeased looking George Washington, but he wasn't in the mood for a lecture, so he just passed him without so much as a second glance. He got all the way to the elevator before George caught up with him and grabbed his shoulder in an iron grip.

“What the hell were you thinking, Alexander? I really took you for smart!” His voice wasn't particularly loud yet but it had an edge to it that made Alex want to shrink away from him.

“Why would it matter? I'll be dead in a couple days anyway! Nothing we say or do matters, but at least I'll be remembered now!” He tried to shake George's hand off but realized angrily that his grip was too tight. “Let go! That hurts!”

“Good!” George shot back, but his grip loosened ever so slightly. “I can't believe you couldn't keep it together for a three minute interview. Don't you think I've wanted to say all those things for years now?”

“And why didn't you, then?” Alex countered, finally succeeding in pulling away. He crossed his arms. “Because you're a coward who likes to be the Capitol's dog, I bet.”

George's face fell and now he looked really angry for the first time.  
“Watch your tone,” he said quietly, “Don't presume to know everything about me, son.”

But Alexander had had enough.  
“Don't fucking call me son ever again! You don't know anything about me either and you're not my father!” he snapped and let out a grateful sigh when the elevator door opened and they were back on their floor.

“Alex!” Eliza jumped up from the couch she'd been sitting on and hurried over to them. Alex threw another glare at George before moving to hug her.

“Why'd you do that?” she whispered, “It was already bad enough that I couldn't stick to the plan...”

“Who even cares?” Alex replied and took a step back. “Liza, I'll be dead by the end of the week. I don't give a shit about what the Capitol thinks.”

“The sponsors care,” George threw in, “This is not what they're used to. I'm expecting half a dozen people to withdraw their offers tonight.”

“Wait...” Eliza furrowed her brows. “But we've been playing Alex up as fierce and ready to fight, haven't we? The shark costume, the way he's been acting during training... doesn't that give everyone the impression that he's a force to be reckoned with? Shouldn't more people want to sponsor him now?”

That made more sense than anything Alex could have thought of right now. George's face let him drop that hope though.

“He is dangerous. Dangerous to the Capitol, maybe. You know what they do with people who speak up against them.”  
Alexander's hand instinctively went up to his mouth.  
“They do whatever they can to make sure they don't talk anymore,” George continued, “And don't forget that the Arena is controlled by the Gamemakers. If they want you dead, you'll be dead within the first five minutes.”

Alex hadn't considered that. It would surely make some people suspicious, but the Gamemakers knew how to be subtle, usually, and over all the bloodshed, everyone would quickly forget about one insignificant death.  
He felt sick.

Eliza took his hand into hers and he squeezed it gratefully.

“I think I'll pass up on dinner tonight. Come to our room later?” he murmured and Eliza nodded her agreement, taking the hint that he just wanted to be alone for now.

Alex let go of her hand and muttered a quick apology to George, less than he deserved but everything Alex was capable of at the moment.  
Then he went to his room and curled up on the bed with his notebook.

He'd just sealed his own fate. He'd never been able to keep his mouth shut. Everyone had told him it would get him in major trouble some day, but he'd always seen his words as a gift. This wasn't a situation he could talk himself out of. And what if he died before he even got a chance to protect Eliza? What if he died knowing that he had failed her, and Angelica, and Peggy? God, he was so stupid. Selfish, stupid, childish Alex.

His hand shook as he wrote, the words quickly becoming illegible as sobs wracked his body. And when Eliza came to check on him an hour later, he was still crying.


	13. 3, 2, 1, GO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Sunday! Thanks for all the kind comments :) This one is a little shorter because our school musical premiered last week and between that and rehearsals, I barely had time for anything else, including sleep. (I'm too old to act but I'm part of the team that organizes practically the entire thing so I'm pretty stressed out)

Waking up the next morning came with a strange sense of finality. Maybe they wouldn't make it through the day. Maybe they would, and they would die the next. Alex curled around Eliza without a word and started stroking her hair. He swore he could feel some tears wetting his pajamas, but when they finally parted, her eyes were dry and her expression calm.

“Let's just try to eat some breakfast,” she whispered, “This'll be the last good meal we get. We need the energy.”  
She was right. As she always was.

They got out of bed and got dressed in the clothes the Avoxes had laid out for them the day before, then headed outside to meet George and Lee. 

“You two will have to take separate hovercrafts to the Arena,” Lee told them, trying to sound disinterested, but Alex could see the satisfaction and excitement in his eyes.

“What about you?” Eliza asked and George sighed.

“Your stylists are going to be with you until the end. We'll stay in the Capitol and work. At least one of us,” he explained with a glance at Lee who Alex knew for sure was just going to get drunk and watch the Games, most likely cheering for Thomas or one of the other Careers.

“George...” Alexander swallowed and this time he didn't fight back the urge to hug him. Even George's hugs felt fatherly, in a way. He held Alex tightly until it was time to let go, and then he embraced Eliza as well.

“Thank you. For everything,” she murmured and George huffed out a laugh. “Thank me when you're still alive by the end of this.”  
She broke away from their mentor. The elevator behind them opened and Alex turned around to see Fortunata and Eliza's stylist approaching them.

“When we're in the Arena,” Alex said quickly, turning to Eliza, “Remember our plan. You and Lafayette stay together while Adrienne and I make a run for the Cornucopia. No getting into fights if we can avoid it.”

“You're telling me that?” Eliza asked with a smile and hugged him quickly before pulling away. Alex was painfully aware that, if they were unlucky, they wouldn't be able to hold each other again. Plans didn't always work out in the Arena.

“Take care,” Alex whispered, trying not to feel like this was goodbye.  
Fortunata took his hand with a sad smile and pulled him along.

The rest of the next few hours was a blur, all Alexander could think about was that the Games were about to start, that he was going to die and that he needed to keep Eliza safe.  
They got on a hovercraft that was just as luxurious as the train had been, with breakfast waiting there.  
Alex barely touched his food until he remembered Eliza's words from before and forced himself to eat some pastries. They felt dry going down his throat.

After nearly two hours of pacing with Fortunata watching him, they finally landed. They walked out of the hovercraft right into a long corridor illuminated by artificial lights, and now Alex couldn't help shaking anymore.

Fortunata placed a hand on his back and kept it there until they reached a room with only a table and a round platform on one side.

“So... this is it?” Alex asked quietly as Fortunata walked over to the small package that was lying on the table. She opened it and pulled out a pair of black pants, high boots, a dark green jacket and a gray shirt.

“I had some alterations made. Illegally, of course, so I'd appreciate if you kept your mouth shut about it,” she said and smirked at him as she showed him the pocket on the inside of the jacket. “I thought you'd like something to carry that notebook of yours.” Alex grinned back and caught the clothes she tossed at him.

He pulled them on and put the notebook and pen into their assigned place.  
“Thank you,” he said quietly and Fortunata waved him off.

“Just kick their asses and I'll be proud. Now go, you only have a minute or so.”

Alexander stepped onto the platform, his heart beating hard inside his chest. A glass cylinder came down around him and he pressed his hands against it for a moment. Fortunata on the other side smiled reassuringly, and then the platform started rising slowly.

 

The first thing Alex saw was just blinding light. Cold wind blew into his face and woke him up fully. He looked around, scanning his surroundings. The Cornucopia was, as always, right in the middle, the tributes standing on platforms around it. The space in front of them was covered in sand, and outside the circle of tributes, there was a thin stripe of grass before the trees started. The forest was deep, dark, and went up the sides of the mountains – mountains that surrounded the Arena, higher than anything Alex had ever seen, their tips hidden in the clouds. It was beautiful. Or, well, it would be, if this wasn't the place where 23 of them would die.

There was a voice saying something but Alex ignored it, looking for his friends instead. He couldn't see Eliza; she was probably the furthest away from him and hidden by the Cornucopia now. Lafayette and Adrienne were on opposing sides as well, but both of them met his eyes when he looked at them.

Then the countdown started.

10...

9...

8...

John was standing close to Alex as well. He wished he could talk to the other tribute, apologize now before it was too late.

7...

6...

5...

Alexander stared at the Cornucopia. There were a couple spears leaning against the outside wall. Backpacks were lying all over the place, some close enough to reach without having to get near the Cornucopia. 

4...

3...

2...

1...

The cannon sounded and Alex took off, running faster than he ever had. On his way to the Cornucopia, he quickly bowed down and picked up a backpack he passed. It was heavy. Good.

Someone screamed. Alex ignored it.   
He'd reached the Cornucopia now, and a quick glance around showed him that he was one of the first ones. There was a bow lying on a crate and he quickly grabbed it, as well as the quiver next to it. Eliza would have use for that one.

“Alex!” Adrienne was next to him, then, picking up a long hunting knife and shoving it into her belt. “Run!” She gestured behind them and Alexander's heart sunk.

Martha from 2 was running towards them, a long, curved sword in her hand. It was already covered in blood.

“What are you waiting for?!” Adrienne yelled. Alex flinched and glanced back at the spears. Goddammit. He took off after Adrienne as fast as he could.

It happened quicker than he could grasp, one moment she was in front of him, the next she was on the ground and he almost fell over her body. An arrow stuck in her back.

“No!” That was Lafayette, pain in their voice.

Alex changed directions, moving away from Adrienne and hopefully from whoever had shot her, too. His cheeks felt wet.

“Get down!” someone yelled and something heavy hit his chest, making him stumble back a few steps before he went down to the ground.   
When he looked up, he was just in time to see John slice Martha's throat. Blood splashed out, covering Alexander's face and he almost gagged.

“Go, run!” John yelled, turning to fight off the next attacker.

Alex didn't protest, and instead got to his feet as fast as he could, stumbling away from the fight.

“Alex!” His head whipped around.

“Eliza! Eliza!” he cried and ran into the direction of her voice. He jumped over the body of whom he recognized as the little girl from Hercules's district and clutched the bow tightly. He couldn't drop it, it was the only weapon they had...

“Alex!” Eliza shouted again and he looked up to see her running towards him. “Watch out!”

When he turned around, it was just in time to see Madison aim an arrow straight at him. Without thinking about it, Alex threw himself to the side and felt the arrow miss him narrowly. Eliza had reached him now and she yelped, pressing her hand to her arm.

“Did he get you?” Alex asked quickly and Eliza shrugged, wincing a little.

“Just grazed me,” she replied and reached out to take his hand.  
“Come on!”

“Wait, what about-” He looked around for Lafayette, but Eliza shushed him, pulling him along. “We don't have time! They'll find us if we're lucky!”

She was right. They couldn't afford losing any more time. So much for plans.

Alex nodded and followed her, forcing himself not to look back.


	14. stay alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Wednesday! Some bad news for you first, I'm leaving for Italy tomorrow with school so the next chapter won't be uploaded until the 31st :)

They ran for a long time, through the forest, jumping over roots and changing directions a couple times, but overall always heading for the mountains, away from the Cornucopia. Away from Lafayette. And from John. Alex was sure at this point that Adrienne was dead – he hadn't listened to the cannons going off during the fight, but there had been an arrow in her back and really, what were the chances of her surviving something like that? 

This was what the Games were like. Even with a good plan, even if you were a good fighter and knew how to survive, you could always just die. In the blink of an eye, it could all be over. 

Alex thought about Martha, too. She'd been so confident, almost cocky, like she'd known she was going to win, and now? She was gone, too. Gone because John had protected him. 

After everything he had done, everything he had said to him, John had still decided that his life was worth protecting? Why? They were enemies now, right? Or did this mean John was still hoping on an alliance? Well, if they met again now, Alex would offer just that. John had more than earned it.

His mind was going a mile a minute, but at the same time he felt strangely numb. It was easy to think about these things in theory, to put a distance between himself and what had happened around him, what was happening now. Apparently he hadn't fully realized that this was real, that he was in the Games and was going to die very soon. He kept running.

Neither Alexander nor Eliza said a word, even as they heard the cannon go off again. They exchanged a look though, worried about the same two people.

The forest was shutting out most light and noise effectively, and soon the only thing Alexander could hear were his and Eliza's steps. They'd slowed down to a walk now, both panting slightly from the exercise.

The quiet was a little disturbing, after the loudness of the battle and the sounds of screams still ringing in Alexander's ears.

Alex held out the bow and the quiver to Eliza silently and she took it.

“Do we have water?” she asked quietly and he stood, taking off his backpack. A quick search through it got him a pack of matches, some wire, a hunting knife and a bottle – empty. 

“We'll have to find some soon,” he stated. Water was always the most important in the Games. Alex had seen enough tributes die of thirst or be killed because they were too weak from the lack of water. Eliza even already looked pretty pale. 

“How's your shoulder?” he asked. She'd said the arrow had only grazed her so the blood loss couldn't be it. 

Eliza shrugged and flinched. “I'm alive. That's all I could ask for,” she said quietly, glancing back into the direction they had come from.

“Are you okay?” Alex asked gently, moving over to her and reaching out to take her hand.

Eliza bit her lip and shook her head. “I just... I didn't... it feels so different than I thought. It was so... so real. The blood, the screams...”

Alexander nodded and would have leaned in to hug her but held himself back, still worried about the injury.  
“I know,” he whispered, “I thought I was going to die when Martha-” 

He swallowed and Eliza frowned. “What happened?”

“John,” was all Alex replied. God, he hoped that the other boy hadn't died. He was a good fighter, one of the best, but Martha had been, too. And Adrienne.

Eliza sighed and let go of his hand, leaning back against a tree. “I'm so tired, Alex. Can't we take a break?”

Alex thought back to Thomas and his swords during training, to the arrow sticking out of Adrienne's back, Lafayette's screams. He shook his head.  
“Not yet, we need to be further away from them.” He looked around for a moment. “Let me just see where we are...” Honestly, Alex wasn't sure where the Cornucopia was or how far they'd ran.

“You can rest for a couple minutes, but then we have to keep moving.” He hated putting that much pressure on her, but they just needed to survive.

The trees around them looked fairly easy to climb, most of them had branches low enough for him to reach, and he quickly approached one, jumping up to grab a branch and pull himself up. He'd never climbed much since there hadn't been many trees around their district, but he still found it fairly easy.  
It took some effort but finally he reached a high enough point to see the middle of the Arena, the Cornucopia with the circle of sand around it and the platforms they'd stood on before.

Behind Alex, there were the mountains, now much closer – an hour or so more and they'd be there.

He took a moment to breathe in the clear air, trying to spot other tributes, but it was impossible. None of them were stupid enough to be out in the open, they were probably all still walking through the forest, exploring the Arena like him and Eliza.

After a few more minutes, Alexander sighed and climbed back down.

“We still need water. There has to be a river or something somewhere. I say we keep heading towards the mountains,” he suggested. Which in turn would make it harder for Lafayette to find them. But if Lafayette couldn't find them, the others would have a hard time trying to as well.

“What do you think?” Alex jumped down from the lowest branch, looked at Eliza and immediately paled.

She was leaning heavily against the same tree as before, as if it was the only thing still holding her up, shaking slightly. Her eyes were wide and unfocused.

“What's wrong? Liza?” Alex quickly walked over to her and reached out to touch her shoulder. She flinched away and whimpered, looking down at her injury.

“Oh, shit,” Alex breathed. It wasn't bleeding anymore. Had it ever really bled at all? But the bad part was that the edges of the wound had become a nasty, brownish green color that he'd never seen before and when Alex pulled off Eliza's jacket and tugged down the collar of her shirt to look at it properly, he saw that it almost covered her entire shoulder at this point.

“Poison,” Eliza breathed, “Alex, I- it hurts. It's been hurting since the arrow hit me... but it's just getting worse...” Fucking Madison.

“It's alright, just sit down for a moment, I'm sure we can... figure something out.” He looked towards the sky, praying silently that George would be able to get a sponsor gift to them.

Eliza nearly fell to the ground and leaned forwards slightly, her face a pained grimace.  
“Can we just... stay here overnight?” she asked, but Alex didn't get to answer anymore because only a moment later, she was passed out.

“Eliza!” He fell to his knees next to her, pulling her head into his lap. “Wake up! You can't...” Without hesitation, he slapped her across the face. Nothing. “Shit!” What if she didn't wake up? He needed her! It was only the first day and he couldn't have already failed her! That arrow had been meant for him, not her! God, why had he jumped aside?

Alex started playing with Eliza's hair, tears running down his cheeks. What was he supposed to do now? He didn't know what kind of poison this was, and he hadn't paid enough attention to the goddamn plants during training. How stupid. Naive. Just playing around with weapons all the time, and now Eliza was going to die because he'd wanted to show off, and to fight.

Breathing was getting harder again, as if something had been wrapped tightly around his chest and he squeezed his eyes shut. Counting inside his head didn't help, not when Eliza wasn't able to help him with this. What was he supposed to do now? She had to survive!

“Alexander?”

He flinched with his whole body but he couldn't get up with Eliza in his lap. Instead, he reached out for the hunting knife, clutching it tightly as he turned his head.

A beat of silence followed. 

Then Alex let out a sob.

“Help her, please!”


	15. Small Miracles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHO'S BACK BITCHES! Italy was pretty nice, especially since I had time to figure out most of the storyline for the sequel. Yeah, you read that right, I said sequel! Now with ten times more angst! (We still have a long way to go until we finish this one though. The thing about this is that Alex's perspective is super limited. There'll be a couple Madison PoV chapters so you can see what else is happening in the Arena, but be assured that even the characters we can't see right now are doing very important things.)

Alex wasn't panicking. He wasn't. He was completely calm, patiently waiting... oh, who was he even lying to? Himself? That didn't work. That never really worked. He always outsmarted himself. That was the problem with him.

“Stop thinking,” he growled at himself, still pacing the clearing. His thoughts weren't even making sense anymore. But Eliza wasn't getting any better. He was sure it had been hours since the first signs had shown and now she was burning up, whimpering in her sleep. The poison was working fast through her body and Alex felt so... helpless.

His mother had died from a fever, she'd been just like this from what he still remembered. One moment she'd been there, and then he'd woken up to her body already gradually losing its warmth. He couldn't let that happen to Eliza! What if she died? What if...

Eliza murmured some words underneath her breath and Alex sighed, moving to her side. He wished he had some water to dab on her forehead and give her at least some kind of relief. At least now they had a blanket that they'd bunched up so they could lay Eliza's head on it and make things more comfortable for her.

“Angie...” Eliza muttered, and Alex could see her eyes moving restlessly behind closed lids. “Not the... the seaweed, it looks awful in Peggy's hair.”

Alex couldn't help but laugh. At least her fever dreams didn't seem to be very dark or scary. He reached out to brush some hair out of her face with a smile, but it faded when he felt how hot her forehead still was.  
“Liza, you can't die away from me now, you hear me? It's only the first day. You're supposed to win this thing,” he told her firmly, knowing she couldn't hear him anyway.

There was a rustling sound behind him and Alex whipped around, grip on his knife tightening before he relaxed. “What took you so long?” he asked, trying not to sound too judgmental. After all, late help was better than no help.

“I didn't know the terrain, I had to search for a while before I found the right herbs. Now let me...” Alex let himself be pushed away and watched anxiously as John put a few of the small leaves he was carrying into his mouth, together with a handful of berries that Alexander had never seen before. He chewed for a few seconds before spitting it all out and carefully spreading the paste on Eliza's wound.

“If we had some water to cook this in, it would be easier. But I was taught that it works just as well like this,” John explained, ripping off a piece of his own shirt to wrap it around Eliza's arm as a makeshift bandage.  
So much for having a Career on their side only bringing trouble.

“Thank you,” Alexander whispered.

John watched him for a moment, then suddenly reached out to take Alex's hand and put something in it. Alex pulled away and frowned at the leaves and berries.  
“Change the bandage at sunset today and at sunrise tomorrow and she should be fine. The fever is probably going to go down in a couple hours already. She's going to be alright.” John smiled reassuringly and got up. Alex felt a wave of panic surge up inside him and he quickly jumped to his feet as well.

“You're leaving?” he asked disbelievingly.

“You don't want a Career on your side. You told me what you think of me enough times,” John replied, frowning at him, “Do you want me to stay?”

Alex bit his lip, looking down at Eliza.  
“Yeah. I... listen, I'm sorry. I didn't know... I thought you were just...”

“Some spoiled little Career boy who is excited to spill some blood? Like Thomas? I played that role pretty well, can't blame you,” John said, “Also my dad punched you, so I feel like I owe you one.”

Alexander rolled his eyes. “John, no offense, but your dad is a dick.”

At that, John actually laughed. Alex thought that he had never heard him laugh before. Now he regretted that. It was a sound he wanted to hear more often, so carefree, like a promise of a happy world where the Capitol and the Games were only scary stories of a past left behind long ago.

“Yeah, he is,” John agreed after a moment and... sat back down. Hopefully Alex's sigh of relief was quiet enough for him to miss.

“So you're not mad at me?” he asked and returned to his spot by Eliza's side, “I've been kind of an asshole.”

“Only kind of?” John shot back, eyebrows raised. 

Alex sighed. “Yeah, okay, I've been a huge asshole. Happy now?”

“More than happy.” John hummed and leaned back to look up at the sky. “We still have a couple more hours until sunset. Do you think Eliza will be able to walk when she wakes up?”

Alex bit his lip and watched Eliza's tense face.   
“She's tough. She'll try, at least,” he finally stated, not too happy about it. 

John nodded. “On my search for the medicine, I think I heard water running, not too far from here. Once Eliza is up, we should find it and then camp there overnight.”

That only made sense. Also the prospect of John staying with them longer made Alex happier than he had thought it would. Of course that was only because John had already proven himself to be a useful ally. If they could only find Lafayette... but after all the fighting, Alex wasn't sure if they were still alive either. It wasn't like he'd stopped to count the cannons being fired, so he'd just have to wait until nightfall when they'd announce who had fallen.

The two boys sat in silence for a long time after that, both watching the slow rise and fall of Eliza's chest while simultaneously still listening for any sounds of other tributes near them. Alex felt like a tightly coiled spring, ready to jump and fight or run any moment. But the forest around them remained silent, only the sounds of the birds above them, the wind rustling in the trees and their breathing to be heard.

“How long will you stay?” Alex asked quietly after what felt like hours. Maybe it had been. John kept watching the clouds pass by rather than looking at him. 

“As long as I can. You never know what's going to happen...”

“Fair enough,” Alex murmured and now John looked down, grinning at him.

“Aw, do you like having me around, Alexander?” he teased.

Eliza sighed softly in her sleep and Alex was grateful for the excuse to look at her face and hopefully hide his blush from John. What was going on with him?  
 _You always knew he was cute,_ a little voice in his head said, _And now that you're allies, you're allowing yourself to see it._  
Alexander shook his head quickly to chase away the thought.

“You saved Eliza's life. I owe you everything, John. I just want her to get out of this alive,” he said instead. It was the truth, that was the biggest reason why he wanted John around. They could trust him, he had saved Eliza once, he would probably do it again if he had to. Someone like that was always welcome.

John's smile faded a little and he sighed, reaching out to wipe the sweat off Eliza's forehead with his sleeve. “She's so kind. Soft. She deserves so much more than this,” he murmured, “I don't know if she told you, but we met on the roof a few days ago, and despite thinking I was just another Career, she was willing to listen to me. To give me a real chance.”

Alex felt a sharp pang inside his chest. He hadn't given John a chance. No one had, but Eliza. Sweet, loving, trusting Eliza who was always right.  
For a moment, Alex debated whether he should tell John that he'd heard them on the roof, but then he decided it didn't matter now.

“Now don't go falling in love with her now,” he warned instead, grinning, “You wouldn't be the first boy whose heart she breaks. See, she doesn't exactly like men all that much.”  
To his surprise – and possibly, delight – John laughed again, bright and happy.

“One of us has to, right?”

After a moment, Alex returned his grin.  
“Yeah, well, I'm down for whatever, as long as they're a decent person.” He shrugged. “Not that it matters now. I'll die a virgin. Like most people in these Games, I guess.”

“You know, we can prevent that pretty easily.” John wiggled his eyebrows and Alex laughed, reaching out to shove him.

“You're awful. Now I remember why I hated you,” he joked.

John huffed playfully. “Come on, you just hated me because I'm hot and you were frustrated.”

“Oh, God, will you two just kiss already?”

Alex flinched and looked down at Eliza staring up at him with a tired smile.  
“I do not want to kiss him!” he proclaimed, even as he leaned down and pressed his face against her neck. “He probably kisses like a...a fish!”

“How do you know what a fish kisses like?” Eliza asked curiously and Alexander pulled away and noticed that her eyes were clearer again.  
“It was a bet, okay? Ask your sister,” he grumbled, “How are you feeling?”

Eliza carefully propped herself up on her elbows. “Hot. Thirsty. Do we still not have any water?”

“Sorry,” John said, “But there's water somewhere nearby... we just have to find it.”

“Great. Let's get going.” Eliza tried to stand up and immediately sunk back down, shaking slightly with the effort.  
Alexander and John exchanged a look, then they went on either sides of her, helping her up together. Eliza walked a few steps, leaning onto them until she reached a tree she could use for support.

“This is harder than I thought,” she admitted.

“Maybe this isn't a good idea,” Alex said worriedly.

“You should take some more time to recover,” John agreed and Alexander felt a wave of gratefulness warm his body. He really needed to do something to pay John back for everything he had done for them. “You almost died.”

“We don't have time for that,” Eliza protested, “I can't rest now, we have to keep moving so they won't find us!”

John sighed. “The ones we have to worry about are Thomas, Dolley, Madison and Sally. And they went into the opposite direction, they won't be anywhere close any time soon,” he assured her, “I don't think anyone else poses a direct threat, I'm a better fighter than all of them and Alex is pretty decent, too, from what I've seen.” His tone was slightly teasing and Alex elbowed him in the side.

“I don't have a spear though. That's the only thing I'm really good at,” he murmured.

“Take my arrows, at least,” Eliza threw in, “I won't be able to shoot anyway, not with my arm, so might as well make use of them.” She glanced at John. “You payed more attention to everyone else than us. We just wanted to get away...”

John shrugged. “I was trained to do that. I even saw Madison pick up the bottle with poison to dip his arrows in. I bet they put that there just for him, so things would be more interesting.”  
Alex thought back to what George had said, about how the Gamemakers would try to kill him specifically and shuddered. He'd never thought much about how they were the ones actually in control. If they wanted, they could kill all tributes except the one they favored. That would make for awfully boring Games, of course, but they did have the power to do that.

“So avoiding Madison is one of our top priorities now,” Alex said and the others nodded. Eliza bit her lip and sunk back down to the floor, her face carefully schooled into a calm expression to hide her pain.

“Let's be positive,” John suggested, moving to pick Eliza up despite her protests, “Now that we know Madison is that dangerous, we can hope that he'll at least have the guts to murder the rest of his alliance.”   
That hope was probably more comforting than it should have been.


	16. The Story of Tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Wednesday! Guess what? I'm flying to London tomorrow to see In the Heights! That does mean I might not have enough time to write Sunday's chapter because I'll get home late on Saturday, but I'll still try so keep an eye out!

The small group had walked for quite a while – that was, Alex and John since Eliza was still just clinging to John's back, resting her head against his shoulder. John didn't seem to mind at all, his steps were light as always, as if Eliza weighed nothing.

Alex admired that. Sure, Eliza was delicate, but John had fought, hadn't had any water since that morning, and he still had enough strength to carry someone.  
Maybe it was his training, maybe it was pure determination. Alex didn't pretend he couldn't see his muscles flew underneath his t-shirt, his jacket bound around his waist. It wasn't warm but they were all sweating a little and the cool air did wonders for that. It wasn't like they'd live long enough to catch a cold, most likely.

The sun was already standing low, and Alex dreaded nightfall. They wouldn't be able to make a fire, it would be a cold night. He'd probably wrap himself around Eliza to keep them warm.  
 _And don't forget to invite John,_ the voice in his head sang.  
Well, reasonably, three people would provide even more body heat. God, Alex had it bad. He thought about how George wanted a tragic romance and laughed to himself.

“What's up?” John asked curiously, “Care to let me in on the joke?”

“Just thought about how we make all those great plans before the Arena, and they almost never work. I mean, me and Liza were supposed to be madly in love.”

Eliza laughed weakly. “Yeah, that went well, didn't it?”

John shrugged. “I don't know, I almost bought it until Alexander went off like a firecracker on that stage.”

“What's a firecracker?” Alex asked.

“You're one,” John replied with a grin, “Seriously, you don't have those in 4?”

“There's the spoiled Career kid,” Eliza noted and gently hit John's shoulder, causing the other tribute to chuckle.

“How come you're not anyway?” Alex almost stumbled over a root as he watched John. Goddammit, if he kept staring at him whenever he laughed, he'd probably just fall and break his neck. But still, the way his face lit up almost made it worth it.  
When he looked back at the two of them, he was met with Eliza's knowing eyes. 

Part of him wanted to blush and look away, but instead he just shrugged. Why not, anyway? They were going to die soon. If not now, when?

That obviously didn't mean he was going to tell John. No, he was perfectly happy living with his fantasies.

John sighed, his smile dropping a little. “That's not a really happy story.”

“Believe me, I'm used to that,” Alex assured him. Nothing John could tell him would be worse than his own story, he thought.

“My family's pretty influential, if you haven't already figured,” John started, “Almost all of us have high positions among the Peacekeepers. Some are in charge of whole districts' forces. So, you see, they expect a lot from us. And my father won his Games at thirteen, so that kinda adds to the whole pressure. But I... I never liked fighting. We're trained to enjoy it, but it never worked with me.”

Alex felt a new rush of affection for John. He was damn talented with almost any weapon and still took no enjoyment in hurting people.

“The thing is... I think it's like that because my mom wasn't from 2.” John's voice was tinged with sadness and something else that Alex recognized but couldn't name. It was the same feeling he got whenever he thought of his mother. Longing, mixed with love and a little bitterness.

But now John seemed to be really getting into it. Maybe he'd never told this story before, maybe talking about it now was like a burden being lifted from him.  
“She grew up in 11. When my father was in his early twenties, someone from 2 won the Games and he came there on their victory tour. She was just a face in the crowd, but he saw something in her. They didn't even talk that night, but a few months later, my father traveled to 11 to find her again.”

Of course. Rich people, powerful people could travel between the districts as they wanted, even if it was just out of impulse.

“So he went and asked around for her, and when he found her, he offered her jewels, perfumes, all kind of fancy gifts if she came back to 2 with him. He was really in love with her, but she didn't love him. Sure, he was kind to her, and he was handsome, and they were attracted to each other, but it was too early for her. She told him that they didn't know each other, that she couldn't leave her family. But he kept pushing, and so she finally caved and spent a few nights with him. They were almost happy for a bit, until my father had to go back home to do his job.”

John looked down. “A few weeks later, my mother discovered she was pregnant. My father panicked. He'd been saying all those things, telling her he wanted a life with her, but now it was different. Now he would be bound to her forever. And his family wouldn't allow it anyway, and so he sent her money, to provide for her and the baby.”

Alex was so focused on John's story that he almost didn't hear the sound of water running until Eliza straightened up on John's back and pointed to somewhere in front of them. “Almost there...” She seemed tired, but there was color in her cheeks again.

John picked up the pace a little, probably just as thirsty as Alex was.  
“I lived in 11 for the first seven years of my life. I went to school there, I helped my mother work. See, she used most of the money we got to help people who needed it more.”

“Sounds like an amazing woman,” Eliza murmured and John smiled sadly. “Yeah, she really was.”

His face fell, then. “She got very sick, one day, and when my father heard about it, he came to help but it was already too late. So he did the only thing he could do, he took me in. He'd gotten married in the meantime and his wife was... nice to me, I guess. Not very motherly, she had her own kids to take care of, but it was okay. I trained to be a Peacekeeper, and I trained to be a victor. My father never liked me much, I never liked him much, but we force ourselves to get along.” John huffed out a laugh. “And that's it, here I am.”

“Here you are,” Alex repeated, just for the sake of saying something.

John smiled softly at him. “We're quite something, aren't we?”

Eliza muttered something that sounded suspiciously like _Dead Mom Squad_ but Alex decided not to question it. Sometimes she had a weird sense of humor.

The sound of water was getting louder now, and the light falling through the trees was brighter. Alex glanced over at John and Eliza once again before breaking into a run until he left the trees behind.

“Liza! John! Hurry up!” he shouted, laughing as he knelt by the side of the lake. He leaned down and drank straight from it, getting his face wet in the progress and, oh, he'd never been more grateful for water in his life.

It was cool, clear like mountain lakes usually were, and a river joined it on the other side in a small waterfall. It was absolutely beautiful.

When Alex was done drinking, he quickly shrugged off his backpack, pulling out the empty water bottle and filling it.

“God, that feels good,” Eliza sighed. She looked way better now and not like she'd been close to dying mere hours ago. Alex could kiss John.

The other boy was sitting next to Eliza, carefully removing the makeshift bandage. Most of the green color had disappeared, her skin was reddened and the wound was still bleeding, but it looked just like a normal injury now. Alex let out a sigh of relief and handed John the water bottle.  
“This is gonna hurt,” John warned and Eliza nodded, gritting her teeth and hissing in pain when he poured water over the wound.  
“All done, all done,” John whispered reassuringly after a moment and Alex pulled the leaves and berries out of his pocket and chewed on them until he got a paste like the one John had made before. He spat it into his hand and reached out to spread it on the wound while John ripped off another piece of his shirt to make a fresh, clean bandage.

“Thank you,” Eliza said softly, “Especially John, you wouldn't have had to help me, me and Alex are just two more tributes in your way of winning.”

John smiled at her and shook his head. “No, don't worry, I'm not planning on winning.”

Eliza groaned. “You and Alex were really made for each other.”

They looked at each other and decided not to grace that with an answer, which only made Eliza laugh.

John opened his own backpack and pulled out a small box. “I have this, a pot and a blanket,” he listed, handing the box to Alex.

He looked inside and smiled, ripping off a piece of the bread before handing it to Eliza.  
“Food! John, if you were a girl I'd kiss you right now,” she told him.

“Flattered,” John murmured with a smile and looked up at the sky.

The sun had disappeared behind the mountains now and as they ate, the hymn of Panem started playing.  
The three tributes all looked towards the sky as the images of the fallen appeared.

Martha from 2.

Both from 3.

The boy from 5.

The boy from 7.

The girl from 8.

Then nothing.

The music stopped, the last image disappeared and they were left in silence.

Finally, after a few minutes of staring, Alex tore his eyes away from the sky, part of him had expected the last image to still show up.  
“Adrienne,” he whispered and Eliza nodded.

He wasn't sure if he should be happy or not. After all, they had left her and Lafayette. They probably wouldn't want to work together anymore.

“Let's just... let's just settle in for the night,” John suggested after a while. He threw his blanket over to Eliza and sat up a little straighter.  
“I'll take the first watch.”

His voice didn't leave room for protests, and Alex was happy to get some rest first. He trusted John to wake him up in time.   
Huh. He trusted John. That was new, but he liked it.

Eliza beckoned him closer and he went, lying down next to her and sharing the blanket. He didn't go to sleep though, instead propped himself up on his side and started writing in his notebook.  
John watched him in silence.

It was comfortable like this, just enjoying each other's company. They were lost in their own thoughts, recounting the events of the day, planning for the one that was coming. There was no need for talking.

Only when it was too dark for Alex to keep writing did he put his notebook away and curl against the already sleeping Eliza.

He almost couldn't make out John's smile in the darkness.  
“Night, Alexander,” he whispered and Alex felt warm all over. John never shortened his name, it was always Alexander, and it always rolled off his tongue like that.

“Good night, John,” he replied, “You'll wake me up when it's my turn, right?”

John paused for a moment, shifting. “Yeah. I'll be there.” Somehow that sounded like more of a promise than what Alex had asked for, but he wasn't going to question it.

If John was going to be there, then maybe this wouldn't be half as bad.


	17. Friends - Madison Interlude 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Wednesday! London was so great, and In the Heights was AMAZING!!! I'm back and ready to do this thing! I'm on summer break right now so updates are gonna be regular again.

James Madison had never expected his name to be drawn – after all, he'd never had to take tesserae, his family was the richest in his entire district. That didn't mean much, of course, most people in 11 were rather poor, but James had still grown up not having to worry about money. They had servants for nearly everything, they were influential enough to have a license for travel and so James had seen the Capitol a couple times before he got there for the Games.

When his name had been called, he'd frozen up, hadn't moved until a Peacekeeper had pulled him to the stage – gently, not like they treated the other tributes, because James' family was watching.

Of course no one thought he had a chance, he was small, sickly, and he wasn't charming either. Sure, he was smart, and people who knew him well knew that he was cunning, that he had more layers than he liked to show in front of everyone. But that wouldn't be enough to win the Games.

Which was why it had been even more surprising when the two most dangerous Careers had asked him for an alliance, and he'd agreed within a heartbeat. 

They were right, of course, his special interest in plants would prove to be helpful – he'd studied them since he'd been six years old and he knew more about biology than most other people. Partially because he was allowed to read forbidden books as well. Money could buy you everything.

And it had proven useful already, a bottle of poison having been placed by the Cornucopia where Dolley had found it for him, and he'd taken down at least two tributes with it – well, that's what he had thought. 

The girl from 10 was still alive, against all odds, and so was the girl from 4. But he'd hit someone else, too, he hadn't even seen who it was. Everything had been over so fast and then Thomas had dragged him along and they'd been running, and running, and running.

Their entire alliance had made it, even little Sally. She'd done what Dolley had told her and hidden behind some trees until they'd come to get her.

So now they were all sitting beside a small creek, listening to Thomas tell the story of how he'd first gone to the Capitol as a kid.

James' favorite thing about Thomas were his stories. Yes, he tended to brag a bit sometimes, tended to exaggerate quite a lot, but that was part of his charm.  
Even during his visits to the Capitol, James had never met someone so... alive. Thomas was in his element here, his eyes sparkling with excitement when he spoke of plans for the next days, the blade of his machete shining in the light of the moon. It didn't quite fit him, during training he'd always tended to use long, thin blades, matching his tall, lean form, but then again, he was still a master of every weapon.

And then there was Dolley. During fights, she was Thomas' perfect counterpart. If he was hot as fire, she was cool water, going with the flow, always covering his back, her movements more fluid than James had ever seen. But she was also smart, her mind quick as a whip, always planning, weighing options, it was almost as if James could see wheels turning in her head. She was kind, motivating all of them with a couple words, she never needed more, always seemed to know exactly what she needed to say.

And, lastly, Sally.  
Of course James had known her before all of this had started. They'd talked on the train, though Sally was shy and quiet and needed some coaxing before she came out of her shell. Luckily James wasn't the most sociable person either, and she seemed to have sensed that, so they'd made some polite small talk. Sally's mother had been James' nanny when he'd been a kid, he only remembered her faintly. She'd left when she'd had Sally, when James had been four years old. Servants didn't exactly get paid leaves, but Sally said James' mother had made sure they had enough to survive.

When Sally's mother had died, Sally had started working in the Madison household. James remembered her as a small girl, struggling to keep up with the workload in the beginning. But she was smart, she'd learned fast, and James' mother had praised her a lot, giving her a raise after the first couple weeks.  
She'd become one of his siblings' favorite playmates, too, and so James had seen her around a lot. Like with all other servants, he'd never talked to her much. Really, he'd never talked to anyone much.

“... anyway, so my teeth were this really obnoxious azure turquoise color when I got out, and it was fashion in the Capitol at the time, but, I mean, no one in 1 had heard of it yet, and you should have seen my mother's face when I came home, it was hilarious.” Thomas laughed at the memory and Dolley rolled her eyes fondly at him.  
“I remember. As if your smile wasn't already super distracting.” She continued carving patterns into the ground with her knife.

Thomas grinned at her. “Aw, thanks, baby doll.”

“Don't call me that,” she murmured, but she was still smiling.

James wondered how things would be between them if they ended up being the last ones left. If the easy friendship would disappear, pushed away by their will to survive.

Sally was munching on a cracker and watching them silently. James didn't blame her for being careful around them.  
“I think we should go to sleep,” he murmured, looking over at Thomas, “It's late, we'll need all the rest we can get.”

Thomas glanced up at the sky and sighed. “I guess. I'll take first watch, I'm too excited to sleep.”

No one protested and James slipped into his sleeping bag – he'd had all the time in the world at the Cornucopia while Dolley and Thomas had fought off his attackers. Enough to shoot some arrows and collect as many supplies as he could.

Thomas had decided that he should get the sleeping bag because of his cough, even though James had explained that it had always been there. Now he was glad because the night was cold and it felt somehow safer inside the bag.

He drifted off to sleep after only a couple minutes, feeling exhausted from the day. Thomas and Dolley wouldn't kill him in his sleep yet. It was still too early. He was still too useful.

 

“What the fuck?!”  
James shot up into a sitting position, scrambling to grab his bow and quiver.

“Get off me, you little _rat_!” Thomas' voice was furious and James looked around to see him pinning Sally to the ground. 

“What's going on?” Dolley asked beside him, apparently having just woken up as well.

“She tried to kill me! Slit my throat!”

James watched Sally's face. She looked scared, but determined.  
“It's an eye for an eye,” she snapped and Thomas almost flinched.

“Kill her,” James said calmly. It was the only way. She was an enemy now. Strangely, he didn't feel too upset about it. He hadn't even felt upset when he'd killed during the fight at the Cornucupia.  
Sure, he knew Sally better than anyone around here, but she'd had to die some time anyway. He felt strangely detached from all of this.

He was awoken from his thoughts when Thomas was suddenly pushed aside. 

“Hey! What the fuck are you doing?!” Thomas exclaimed as he jumped to his feet.

Dolley ignored him and grabbed Sally's arm, pulling the small girl to her feet.  
“Go! Run!” She yelled before pointing at Thomas and James with the sword in her other hand.  
“Don't. Move.”

“Dolley?” Thomas asked, “Come on, it's me... drop it.” James could hear a hint of fear in his voice. Of course. Dolley was the only one in the Arena who was an even match for him. Maybe even more than that.

“Yeah, it's you. Arrogant, entitled Thomas Jefferson.” Dolley rolled her eyes and slowly backed up.

“Were you in it with her?” Thomas asked, sounding hurt now.

“Does it matter?” Dolley replied, glancing at James quickly.  
“If I were you, I'd run from him, too. He'll kill you. Soon.”  
 _What makes you think it's not going to be the other way around?_ James thought.

“Sounds a bit hypocritical to me,” Thomas snarled as Dolley took another step back.

“Bye, Thomas,” she said with a roll of her eyes and a smirk, then turned and ran.

Immediately, James raised his bow, pulling back the string and getting an arrow ready. He aimed, let go, and... the arrow hit the trunk of a tree next to where Dolley had disappeared a split second ago.   
“It's too dark,” he murmured frustratedly, even as he got another arrow ready.

A hand on his shoulder made him flinch.  
“Leave her,” Thomas whispered, “She won't come back tonight. Let's get some more sleep.”

James relaxed ever so slightly and lowered his weapon.  
“I'll take the first watch.”


	18. toute à vous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Sunday! Oh boy, do I have a good one for you!

John had woken Alex in the middle of the night, a gentle smile on his face when Alex had grumbled something and turned around with the intention to keep sleeping. At this hour, not even Alex was fully functional. But then John had whispered that he didn't want to make Eliza take a watch since she was still recovering, and Alex had realized where he was and why John was shaking him awake.

Now the sun was rising and the crisp morning air made Alex shiver.  
He looked over at the sleeping forms of his friends. Eliza looked way better now, curled up underneath the blanket, her face relaxed and at peace.  
John didn't quite look like that. He was sprawled out on his back, mouth hanging slightly open, and he twitched every now and then. If Alexander held his breath and listened very closely, he could hear him snoring quietly. It was quite possibly the cutest thing Alex had ever seen.

“Someone has a bad problem,” a voice sung and he turned around to see Eliza grinning at him.

“Seriously? Don't you have anything better to do?” He laughed though, glad that Eliza was feeling well enough to joke around.  
“Actually no.” She sat up and started fixing her hair while Alex picked up a pine cone and threw it at John, causing him to flinch and look around before he sighed and let his head drop back to the ground. 

“Cute,” Eliza commented, wiggling her eyebrows at Alexander.  
He almost shoved her but remembered her injury in the last moment and just settled for shooting her a death-glare.

“How are you two so awake?” John complained, sitting up and running a hand through his messy hair before tying it back up.

“I've been sitting here for hours. But wait, I'll help you.” Alex pushed himself to his feet, armed with his water bottle and made his way over to John whose eyes widened when he realized what Alex was about to do.   
“No, no, don't, I'm awake!” 

Alex paused, the bottle hovering above John's head, before he lowered it again and drank from it instead.  
“You're lucky I like you.”

“So two days ago you'd have done it?” John replied and Alex laughed.  
“Two days ago, my dearest Laurens, I would have thrown you into this lake.”

“Oh, I'm sure you'd have tried,” John murmured and got to his feet, stretching a bit.  
“Hey, Alex, you up for a little hunt? I heard deer nearby last night, I think, and we can't live off my bread for long.”

Alex hesitated, looking over at Eliza. “You think splitting up is smart?”

Eliza smiled at him reassuringly. “It's fine, I'll just wait here and watch the camp.”

“We won't be gone long,” John added, “Eliza can defend herself, if she has to.”

Alexander still didn't feel good about it, but he moved to get the bow, tying the quiver to his waist where he could reach into it easily.  
“Two hours, at most,” he told John, “If we haven't found anything by then, we go back.”  
“Deal. You eat something, Eliza, you still need to get better.”

“Yes, Mom,” Eliza murmured, rolling her eyes but reaching for the bread.  
Alex smiled at her before he turned and followed John out into the woods.

 

Hunting was a lot more about keeping his mouth shut than Alex liked, to be honest. He understood why they needed something more to eat, but he couldn't see the appeal in hunting at all. John seemed clearly into this, his eyes sparkling, his movements slow and elegant as he made his way through the woods, following tracks Alex couldn't even see.  
So Alex just settled on watching him.

He was just busy staring at the freckles on his arms and imagining them everywhere on his body, like splatters of paint, when John held up a hand.  
“Wait,” he whispered, “Listen.”

Alexander did, stilling his movements. Someone was walking close to them... someone was sobbing, too. Talking in a broken voice, words Alex couldn't make out.  
Him and John exchanged a look and slowly headed towards the source of the noise. Slowly, the words became clearer.

“No... no, we need... we need to find them. They'll help us. They have to know how. You can't die yet... please just hold on...” Another sob. Alex closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“It's Lafayette,” he whispered and steeled himself before speeding up. He was smarter than to shout their name, knowing that there could be other tributes nearby, but it was hard to suppress the urge.

“Alex, wait!” John whisper-shouted behind him but Alex ignored him, breaking through the trees into a clearing.

“Laf!”  
Lafayette was kneeling on the ground next to a body – Adrienne. They looked up at Alex, eyes red and puffy, whole body shaking.

“Alexander?” a weak voice asked and he turned to Adrienne. She broke into a coughing fit and he hurried to kneel at her side, feeling her forehead. It was burning hot, much hotter than Eliza's had been.

“You can help her, can't you? Tell me you can. You'll help her. You'll make it better,” Lafayette babbled next to him and Alex couldn't make himself answer them.

“Hey, Adrienne?” Her eyes were unfocused, searching for his face, but she smiled when she finally found him. Alexander reached out to take her hand, squeezing it gently. “I'm here,” he murmured, faintly registering that John was crouching beside him now, talking quietly to Lafayette.

“Can I roll you over?” Alex asked softly and Adrienne managed a small nod.  
It was a difficult procedure, as Alex didn't want to hurt her any more, but John quickly came to his help and with combined efforts, they finally managed to roll her on her stomach.

Her jacket was bloody.  
John didn't even hesitate, just cut right through the fabric with the knife Alex had given him. Her shirt looked even worse underneath that, clinging to her back, almost nothing of its original color visible anymore. There was just blood. So... much blood.  
Alex gagged.

“If you can't do this, you can go sit with Laf,” John murmured worriedly and Alexander looked over to where they were sitting, a few feet away, hugging their legs and still crying.

“No, no, I can help,” he said quickly, “Adrienne, you still with us?”

“Still here,” she murmured, though her voice was shaking.

“How the hell did you even manage to get this far?” John asked as he carefully cut into her shirt.

“Laf,” Adrienne replied, “They practically... dragged me, but I can't... I won't make it. I know I won't.”

“Don't say that,” Alex shushed her quickly, petting her hair while he watched John. Adrienne huffed out a laugh that turned into a cough.  
“Never took you for an optimist.”

Alex went to answer, but his words died in his throat when John finally got the shirt off her back. 

“Shit,” he breathed, feeling sick again.

There was a wound in her shoulder, deep and torn, and Alex could see the blood welling up – Lafayette seemed to have tried to bandage it but the bandages had already slipped off and were now loosely hanging a little below the wound.  
But the worst part was the poisoning. The skin around the wound an ugly green, just like it had been with Eliza, but much, much larger.

“John?” he whispered and John glanced over at him before shaking his head.  
Alex had known, the moment he'd seen the wound. The only place where she could be saved at this point would be the Capitol – the very same people who were watching right now, probably eating snacks and taking bets on how Lafayette would react to the news.  
They probably knew already, but denial was a powerful tool.

In silent agreement, John and Alex rolled Adrienne back over and Alex moved in so she could rest her head in his lap.  
Lafayette stumbled back over to sit next to them, reaching out to take Adrienne's hand.

“Laf...” Alex whispered. They needed to hear it, false hopes would only make it worse in the end.  
“Laf, I... you know it's bad, right?” God, where were his words whenever he really needed them?

“No... no, I know what you're going to say, and no, she's not dying, she's not!” Lafayette shook their head, tears rolling down their cheeks.

“Hey...” That was Adrienne. She was smiling up at them. “You'll be okay. You'll survive this. Alex and John are going to keep you safe. Right?” She looked up at Alex who nodded quickly. He didn't know what was going to happen and he prayed he wouldn't have to choose between killing Lafayette and giving away Eliza's chances to win in the end.

“No, no... no, I don't want to be safe! Not without you!” Lafayette exclaimed.

John put a hand on their shoulder, then stilled.  
“Do you hear that?”

Lafayette ignored him, but Alex looked up. “What?”

“Someone,” John murmured and pushed himself to his feet, “Wait here.”  
Alex clutched his bow.

“No, no, no, no,” Lafayette kept whispering next to him.

There was nothing left to say so Alex just wrapped his free arm around their shoulders as they both watched Adrienne. She seemed to have trouble breathing now.

“I love you,” Adrienne murmured, smiling up at Lafayette, “So much. I'll... always love you. Please... please don't stop fighting now.”

“No, no, no, don't die, don't, you can't, don't leave me,” Lafayette sobbed, clutching her hand to their chest. “You can't, you said you would never-”  
“That was before the Games though,” Adrienne said softly and coughed again, closing her eyes for a moment.

Lafayette was shaking against Alex and all he could do was stroke their shoulder and hold them, even though his face was now wet as well.  
Adrienne let out a shuddering breath and opened her eyes again, but this time she didn't look at them, just stared up at the sky.

“I love you, never... n-never forget that. I'm... I'm all yours,” she whispered and the hint of a smile played around her mouth before her eyes slipped shut again and she breathed out. 

Then she stilled completely. 

The cannon went off.

And Lafayette wailed, throwing themselves over her body and clutching her tightly as they cried.

Alex wiped his eyes and looked away, his throat tight. But he couldn't lose it now, too, he hadn't even known Adrienne that well. Watching Lafayette, it felt like he didn't deserve to grieve when what they were feeling was a thousand times worse.

There were steps approaching them again and Alex looked up, expecting John.

It wasn't John.

Alex raised his bow, an arrow finding its way into his hand immediately as he scrambled to his feet, facing the girl from 9.  
She froze, clearly not having expected him to notice her presence. All she had was a hunting knife, similar to Alexander's own.  
“Laf,” Alex murmured, then, when Lafayette didn't make any sign they had heard him, louder, “Laf!”

Their head snapped up, gaze empty even as they spotted the other tribute. Then they got up, swaying slightly on their feet and... started slowly walking towards her.

“What-?” Alex aimed at the other tribute. “Laf, get away!”

“Why?” Lafayette asked, and the sound of their voice made a shiver run down Alexander's spine. He'd never heard someone lack feeling completely like this.  
“It's over now. It's all over. The Capitol won. I don't want to go on.” They spread their arms, facing the girl. “Do it. Come on.”

Alexander took a deep breath. “Adrienne said-”

“I don't care what she said!” Lafayette yelled, “She's gone! Dead!”

Alex closed his eyes for a moment, then he pulled back the string and let go. The arrow flew past Lafayette, only barely missing them, and buried itself in the girl's neck.  
“Let's go,” he said, sounding calmer than he felt. 

Lafayette stared at him, eyes wide, then shook their head.  
“No, I'm staying with her. I'm not leaving.”

“Laf, they'll pick her up, there's nothing you can do now,” came John's voice. He stepped into the clearing, covered in blood. “The boy from 9,” he explained even as Lafayette moved back to Adrienne's side.

They both watched them cry for a minute, not sure what else to do, until a hovercraft appeared above them.

Alexander ran over to Lafayette, tugging them to their feet. “They'll have her sent home,” he said, trying to be reassuring, but Lafayette only shook him off.

A metal claw came down from the hovercraft, closing around Adrienne's body. Lafayette sobbed when it started rising again and, despite John shouting warning words over the noise the engines were making, moved to cling to the corpse.

There was a crackling sound and they screamed, falling to the ground. An electric shock.

Alex knelt down next to them, putting a hand on their shoulder as the claw holding Adrienne disappeared inside the hovercraft and came back down to pick up the other two tributes.

Lafayette stared blankly ahead until it was gone for good and silence filled the woods once more.  
Then they finally turned to Alex and pulled him into a hug that made Alex gasp for air for a moment before he returned it.

“It's okay. It's all gonna be okay. You're safe, we'll keep you safe,” he whispered, and, for Adrienne's sake, he would keep that promise the best he could.


	19. Poison - Madison Interlude 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so sorry for the delay! I'm really unstable right now and can't even bring myself to eat, much less write. So here's a filler chapter that I wrote months ago and once I actually get better, there'll be regular updates again!

James had always been a light sleeper, mostly because he was used to coughing fits waking him at random intervals throughout the night. 

Being in the Arena hadn't exactly improved his sleeping either, and so he was awake long before Thomas' watch ended and it was his own turn. He'd been listening to the other tribute's breathing for a while, not wanting Thomas to know he was awake, but when a hand touched his shoulder and shook him gently, he opened his eyes and sat up, not even the slightest bit sleepy.

He couldn't help but laugh at Thomas' surprised face, but was quickly cut off by a cough, turning away and covering his mouth.

“Hey, Gemstone.” Thomas was speaking in a gentle tone, a bottle in his hand, holding it out to James. “Have some water.”

James managed to stop after a minute and he took the bottle gratefully, watching Thomas as he drank. Since Dolley had betrayed them, Thomas had grown a lot more caring. At this point, James wasn't even sure it was a trick anymore. Sure, the reasonable part of his mind told him that this was because Thomas was worried James would turn on him as well, and he was nice to him so this wouldn't happen, but still...

When Thomas was fighting, he was vicious, elegant and completely deadly. When he wasn't, he was laid back, sure of himself and somehow affectionate, acting as if they wouldn't have to kill each other soon, if they were unlucky.

It was possible that he was trying to lead James on, make him feel safe, but James was good at reading people and he was pretty sure Thomas wasn't that good of an actor.  
Everything about him seemed to be open and honest. Which made him even more suspicious.

James set the bottle down and arched an eyebrow.  
“Did you just call me Gemstone?”

Thomas shrugged, a familiar smirk spreading on his face.  
“James, Jemmy, Gemstone. Besides, you're precious and I like you, which are both characteristics you share with real gems.”

James chose to not remind Thomas that they weren't supposed to like each other and just shook his head.  
“You're not as much of a charmer as you think you are.” He wrapped his arms around himself, shivering in the cool night air.

“Aw, come on, you know I'm growing on you.” Thomas placed their shared knife on the ground next to James, who took it immediately, and shrugged off his jacket. 

“What are you-” Thomas' jacket was warm and heavy around his shoulders and made James shut up.

“It's cold,” Thomas said, as if that was an explanation and James hesitated before pulling the jacket tighter around himself.  
“Go to sleep, Thomas,” he murmured and gave the other boy a grateful smile. This was as far as he was willing to go.

Thomas settled in with a sigh, stretching his long body out in the grass.  
“Night, Gemstone.” James rolled his eyes. Apparently there was no getting rid of this one.

Contrary to James' problems, Thomas didn't seem to have any trouble sleeping, and soon his even breaths were the only thing disturbing the silence of the night that James still found unsettling. 

That was, until about an hour into the shift when a strange beeping noise disrupted it and James looked up, squinting as he scanned the sky. And really, there it was, a small, red light that James knew was attached to a parachute. His eyes followed the path of the light until it stopped in the branches of a nearby tree and he bit his lip, stifling another cough as he glanced at Thomas. 

The gift had to be for him. Thomas was rich, charming, he had tons of sponsors, while James had always focused on being invisible.  
The right thing would be waking him up and letting him get the gift. But right wasn't always smart, James knew that from watching the Games all his life. 

He sighed and got to his feet, moving over to the tree as quietly as he could. The parachute was stuck several feet above his head and he cast one last look at Thomas to make sure he was still asleep before he started climbing. It soon turned out to be impossible to climb without making a noise, but Thomas was a sound sleeper and didn't even move at James' muffled cursing when he almost fell and scraped his hand in the process.

Finally, James reached a broad branch that he could perch on and pluck the parachute out of the tree. The light of the moon was luckily enough to make the writing on the box visible and James' eyes widened. _11_. 

Why would someone send him things? Yes, he had a small chance of winning, but he wasn't as charming as Thomas, as chatty and interesting as Dolley or as sweet and pretty as the girl from 4. He hadn't expected to get any sponsors. If he won, it would have been because of his wits alone.

He threw another glance down to Thomas, just to make sure he was still sleeping, then carefully opened the lid of the small container. 

It took him a moment to realize what the gift was, but then he gasped. The tiny bag contained a fine, white powder – poison, it just had to be. The second part of the gift was a card, but the light was too dim to read it so he just shoved it into his pocket for now. The message was clear anyway. They wanted him to have a way to kill Thomas, a way that worked for him because he could never beat Thomas in battle.

The branch he was still perched on swayed a little in the wind and he looked down at the ground, feeling a little dizzy. Once everything was still again, he slowly started climbing back down, the bag with the poison safe in his pocket.

A minute later, he was back on the ground and sat back down next to Thomas, looking around at the forest surrounding them quickly. Still no sign of other tributes. Maybe they were all trying to get some sleep. It was only the first night, after all, there was plenty of time left for surprise attacks.

James took the bag out of his pocket and stared down at it. This was different than killing people in that first fight. He hadn't known them, not really. Of course he didn't know Thomas either, but the other boy had always been kind to him, at least.

But... who said that he had to do it now? It would be stupid to do it now, right? Dolley was still out there, so was John, both huge threats to him. As long as him and Thomas stayed together, James was protected. He'd wait until as many other tributes as possible were dead. Right. That was better. 

Thomas mumbled something under his breath and curled tighter into himself. James couldn't help but smile. Asleep, he didn't seem half as dangerous. Usually it was easy to forget that Thomas was only eighteen, but he looked much younger in his sleep.

James sighed heavily and pocketed the poison once again. This wasn't the time for sympathy, this wasn't the time for being a coward. He needed to fight for himself if he wanted to get out of here, getting attached was a bad idea. 

Thomas would kill him in the blink of an eye anyway. He was a Career, he had been raised to do that, he had been preparing for this his entire life. The poison was James' only chance.

_Soon_ , he thought to himself, _I wont hesitate then._


	20. the calm before the storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? It's an actual update! I'm honestly so sorry that this took ages, but life has been... a little stressful, to say the least. I'll try to finish this fic within the next four weeks or so since we're getting really close to the finale.

“Come on, you have to at least eat a few bites.” Lafayette continued ignoring Eliza's gentle coaxing, just like they'd been doing the entire morning.

Alexander sighed heavily and looked back down at the dead squirrel he was preparing. John had spent the entire previous day hunting while Alex, Eliza and Lafayette had stayed back in the camp. He'd caught a bunch of small animals, laying traps with some rope Lafayette had given him, and shooting them with their bow. Of course it had been too risky to light a fire in the dark so they'd waited until the next morning. Now Alex and John were taking care of the food while Eliza was trying to get Lafayette to eat or talk or do pretty much anything but stare straight ahead.

Lafayette made Alex wonder what he would be like if Eliza died. Would he be in shock and not care what happened to him as well? He'd already thought he was losing her once, and he'd felt completely and utterly helpless. 

Eliza was his significant other, in a platonic way, and she was his rock. Without her... oh, he'd continue fighting. He'd be so angry that he wouldn't care if it killed him, but he would continue fighting until he reached the king and then make him pay for all this.

Eliza seemed to have read his mind again because when he looked up, she was smiling sadly at him. The thing was, if he was the one to die and Eliza the one who lived, she would have the guts to do the same. But she would also have the self-control not to. After all, she had her family to take care of.

Alexander finished up the squirrel and threw the meat into the pot with the rest before he washed his hands in the lake and sat next to Eliza and Lafayette.  
Eliza was playing with her token bracelet again, a nervous habit she'd picked up over the last couple of days.  
Alex reached out to take her hand, his fingertips stroking the cool silver.

“That's pretty.”  
If he hadn't known it was Lafayette's voice, he would have never guessed. It was barely louder than a whisper, heavy and croaky from all the crying.

“Thanks,” Eliza replied softly, “My sister gave it to me. To remind me of home.”

“I don't have a sister,” Lafayette replied thoughtfully, “I don't have anyone back there. I only had... her. We were enough for each other.”

“I'm so sorry, Laf,” Alex whispered, reaching out to take their hand as well. They squeezed it and smiled sadly.  
“It's not your fault. It's the Capitol. The Games. It's all them.”

Alex nodded, his throat feeling tight again. This was just what he felt, what Eliza and John and probably most of the tributes felt. But they couldn't do anything against it anymore. Even if, by some miracle, everyone could be convinced to lay down their arms and refuse to kill each other, the Gamemakers would use the Arena to kill them. To make an example. It was hopeless.

He was having dark thoughts again. He really needed to stop doing that. It wouldn't get him anywhere. 

So he smiled at John when he sat next to him.  
For some reason Alex was sure that John was seeing right through him, but he was grateful he didn't say anything.

“Hey, Alexander?” John asked, his voice sounding light and happy as opposed to the general mood.

“Yeah?”

“I was just... I was thinking...” John's bottom lip looked very kissable when he bit on it, Alex noticed. “Before... this, I used to draw a lot. It calmed me. I just... could I maybe borrow your notebook for a bit?”

Alexander's smile dropped. “Absolutely not.” The stuff in there was personal, he hadn't even shown Eliza all of it.

“Yeah, I figured,” John said sadly. Alex wanted nothing more than to wipe away his frown.

“Um... I can probably rip out a page though?” he offered. There was no way he would get to fill the entire thing anyway, he only had a couple days left.

John's frown turned into a beam so fast that Alex was almost a little thrown off by it, and he certainly wasn't prepared for John hugging him.  
“Thank you!”

Alex hugged him back tightly, wanting to hold him close for longer, but they had to pull away after a few seconds. (Eliza was smirking at them.)  
He busied himself with pulling out his notebook and carefully ripping out the last page, handing it to John together with the pen.

“Thanks,” John murmured again, “I-” He stopped himself and looked down at the page as if he was contemplating it. Alex swore he saw him blushing.

Lafayette was looking from Alexander to John with a somewhat confused expression. They leaned in to whisper something in Eliza's ear that made her laugh out loud.

“What's so funny?” Alex asked, already suspecting something. And really, Eliza just waved him off with a grin. So it was about John and him. Not that there was anything to laugh about, of course. Anyway, Alex was just glad that Lafayette seemed to have shaken their previous stupor. They would have been too easy a target if they hadn't. Maybe now they would fight the next time they were attacked instead of actively trying to die.

They all fell into a comfortable silence after that, Eliza still playing with her bracelet. John had turned away a bit so Alex wasn't able to see what he was drawing, so Alexander ended up checking on the food every now and then.

“I think it's done,” he announced after a while. The meat looked soft, at least, and he managed to stab a piece with his knife. He blew on it before taking a bite.  
It didn't taste great but it would fill their stomachs – also cooked meat was definitely an upgrade from the raw fish Alex had sometimes eaten on fishing trips.   
The others got up slowly, gathering around the fireplace as Alex put the meat into the now empty bread box.  
L  
afayette trailed behind a bit – they probably didn't feel very hungry, but from the looks of it Eliza would convince them to eat. Alexander knew she could.  
Once, she'd sat with him and refused to eat anything before he did, and she'd lasted for almost an entire day before Alex finally caved.  
But Lafayette didn't seem in the mood to protest at all. As John and Eliza helped themselves to some meat, they just stood there, head slightly tilted, eyes half closed.

Then, suddenly, they flinched, a whole body flinch.  
“There's something in the woods.”

Alexander's first reflex was to grab the bow, and from the corner of his eye he could see John pulling out his knife.

“Something... human?” Eliza asked, voice barely even loud enough to be called a whisper.   
Lafayette paused for a moment, then shook their head. “I heard something... screech. Like a bird, but... not. I don't know how to-”

“Mutants,” John said darkly, “Makes the Games more interesting.”  
Alex swallowed. The Gamemakers wanted them dead, them specifically since him and John had been the ones to speak up against the Capitol. Maybe they had wanted to make sure they would definitely die.

“What do we do?” he asked.

John shrugged. “Nothing, really. If they're birdlike, there's no way we can hide from them. They'll attack when they're programmed to. We just need to be ready.”  
“Great,” Alex murmured, looking up to scan the sky with his eyes.

It was blue and spotless. Well... almost spotless. Alexander squinted against the sun. There was something small and black, not a bird but an object, it seemed.

“A sponsor gift!” Eliza exclaimed and Alex felt a rush of gratefulness for George. Chances that it was a gift from him or Eliza were rather high, after all. Adrienne had told them before that their mentors didn't really care, and John's father didn't even want his son to survive from what Alex knew.

They all stayed still as they watched the parachute slowly descent towards them.  
It landed in the trees not too far from their camp and Alexander looked at the others. “Who should go?”

John bit his lip, seeming to think about it. Then he turned to Lafayette. “If you go with Alexander, can I trust you to fight if you get attacked?”  
“Of course,” Lafayette said quickly, “I would not let anything harm him.”

Alexander rolled his eyes. Apparently people were getting protective over him now, as if he hadn't proven enough times that he could take care of himself just fine.

Maybe it was his size. 

Lafayette reached out to ruffle his hair.

It was definitely his size.

“Alright, go.” Apparently John was in charge now. Not that it didn't make sense, of course, since he was the only one with proper training.  
Eliza looked down at her injured shoulder and sighed. “Guess I won't be much use at all in these Games.”

Alexander leaned in to kiss her cheek. “You give me a reason to fight. You keep up our morale. You're helping Laf. Maybe you're not seeing it, but you're doing more than enough.”  
That made Eliza smile, although faintly. “You always know the right words.”

“Words are my specialty,” Alex replied, though he really only knew how to cheer Eliza up – with most other people it was hard to guess what they needed to hear.

“Just be careful,” Eliza murmured.  
Alex grinned at her. “Always, you know me.”  
“I do.” Eliza's smile was a little realer now but there was still worry in her eyes.

Lafayette pulled out their knife and looked at Alexander expectantly. “We should go before someone else gets to the gift first,” they warned.

Alexander nodded and looked at John who looked down – had he been staring at him? If so, why?  
“It'll just be five minutes if you hurry up,” John muttered.

Alexander reached out to touch his arm, ignoring the faint tingling in his stomach. “Five minutes. Go draw some more, who knows when you'll have time to again?”  
John reached up and Alexander almost flinched away out of reflex, but John just pushed a loose strand of hair behind Alex's ear, fingers barely brushing his cheek as he did so.  
Alexander felt warm all over again.

“See you in a bit,” he whispered, finally managing to break eye contact and turning to follow Lafayette who was watching him, eyes sparkling with amusement.

 

“You were supposed to be in love with Eliza, right?” Lafayette asked when they were out of earshot, moving towards where the beeping of the parachute could still be heard.

“Yeah, but after what John said during his interview, I just felt like I should speak up, too,” Alexander replied, ducking away from a low hanging branch.

Lafayette hummed. “That was very brave of him. So you are gay, then?”

Alex hadn't expected that, but he nodded, then shrugged. He wasn't so sure himself. “I like the people I like. It's been girls, it's been boys. Eliza's a lesbian though, I once had a really unhappy crush on her. Me, my brother and her sisters are the only ones who know.” She was probably still going to have to marry some asshole her father picked out for her.   
Then again, she would be independent when she came back home, the Capitol would pay for everything she needed. She wouldn't have to listen to her father anymore if she didn't want to.

“I dream of a world where no one has to hide anymore,” Lafayette said quietly and Alexander nodded. He couldn't even imagine how difficult things had to be for them. Back in their district, Adrienne had probably been the only one to respect their gender and call them by the right pronouns – hell, Alex himself would have gotten confused if his mother hadn't read those forbidden books to him as a kid.

“Maybe one day. When people won't let themselves be silenced by the Capitol anymore,” he said, “But right now... they're just scared. We don't have weapons. And... you know what happened to 13. They didn't even stand a chance. They rebelled and the Capitol took them out. Just like that.” He snapped his fingers.

Lafayette sighed. “Either way, we will not be able to achieve much. Thomas, Dolley and the other Careers are still out there. It's not very likely that we'll be the ones to make it out.”

Alex shrugged. “I wouldn't say that. You're a good fighter. I'm... decent, good when it comes to hand-to-hand, and John can easily keep up with them.” At least if he only had to fight one. And then there was still Madison with his poison.

They had to hold on to what little hope they had. Alexander would do whatever he could to make sure Eliza got to go back home. John would, too. When it came to Lafayette, Alex wasn't so sure. Adrienne had told them to fight, but somehow Alex couldn't imagine them hurting Eliza if it was only the two of them left.

They were now deep enough in the forest that it was mostly dark around them now. The beeping sound and blinking light were now right above them.

“I'll go,” Alex offered, looking up to try and spot the parachute.  
“Be careful.” Lafayette held up their knife and turned so they stood with their back to the tree Alexander was going to climb.  
Alex smirked at them. “Always.” He grabbed the lowest branch and pulled himself up. 

There were calluses on his hands by now, and they hurt but he'd gotten used to climbing by now. 

He reached the parachute fast, but untangling it proved to be a challenge.

“Alexander,” Lafayette whisper-shouted from the ground, “Get down here!”

Alex's heart dropped. “What's wrong?” He finally got the parachute and stuffed it into his pocket before he made his way back down.

When he looked back at Lafayette and spotted the cause of their nervousness, he froze in surprise before he jumped down to the ground.  
“Aaron?”


	21. Fire and Feathers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you for the kind comments! Welcome to everyone who just discovered this fic after the latest update, I hope you know you're in for a ride because this story sure as hell won't be finished after 24 chapters. I've finished this part though and I'm going to start working on the sequel very soon!

Aaron Burr looked like Death itself. As Alexander and Eliza washed off the dirt that he'd used to camouflage himself, they could see that his skin had an unhealthy, greyish tone to it – he'd lost a lot of blood.  
His wounds were awful, it seemed like chunks of meat had been ripped out of his body and his clothes were soaked in blood.

They didn't have to ask what had happened to Theodosia. Right after Lafayette had picked Aaron up from the ground to carry him back to their camp, they'd heard the sound of the cannon going of, a few times, rapidly. Whatever had attacked Aaron, it looked like it had gotten his girlfriend as well.

They just couldn't ask right now since Aaron had been passed out the entire time. If Lafayette hadn't stumbled over his leg in the forest, they wouldn't have even found him.  
Now, Lafayette was trying to get some water past Aaron's lips, talking to him quietly in hopes of waking him up. John was carefully cleaning the wounds the best he could, though they all knew it was no use. They just couldn't leave Aaron to suffer. He was an enemy, sure, but he was also just another victim.

Alexander and Eliza finished cleaning him up and Alex sat back to pull the parachute with the gift out of his pocket; he'd nearly forgotten about it.  
He didn't know what he'd expected when he opened the container, but he hadn't expected the small pack of matches inside. Disappointment stung inside his chest. They already had matches. How didn't George know that?

“What's that?” Eliza reached into the container to pick up the matches, frowning at them. “Why would he-?”  
Alexander sighed, lowering his gaze. That was when he noticed the small, folded piece of paper on the bottom of the container. He furrowed his brows and took it, unfolding it quickly.

_Know your enemy. -GW_

“Know your enemy?” he repeated.   
“The Capitol?” John asked, still mostly focused on Aaron's injuries. The other tribute groaned.

Alexander looked at both of them thoughtfully.   
Then it clicked. “The mutants! They're afraid of fire!”

“Of course,” Eliza murmured, weighing the matches in her hand. “That has to be it. He can't really help us so he gave us as much of a hint as he could.”

Lafayette had already gotten up and was now walking towards the fire. Alex watched as they added more wood.  
“Guess it's better to be protected from this-” Eliza gestured to Aaron's injuries. “Than to hide from the other tributes.”  
John and Alexander nodded. There was a bigger danger now. And Alexander knew he'd rather die by an arrow or a sword than by being ripped apart by those mutants.

 

Lafayette made the fire grow until it was surely a beacon for all other tributes but would hopefully keep all other tributes away.

Aaron was burning up at this point, the fever had broken out suddenly and John was doing his best to work against it. Though by the look of the wounds, Alexander was pretty sure that those mutants were designed to kill, not to injure. He wondered why the Gamemakers hadn't sent them after their alliance. Probably because they were some of the more interesting tributes and the audience wanted to keep watching them for a while.

Alexander sighed as he watched the others. There really wasn't anything more to do. Lafayette was still staring at the fire, occasionally adding some wood. Eliza was sitting near them though she was still watching Aaron worriedly. 

And John... John was doing his best to help Aaron, even if there was nothing more to do.  
He'd bandaged him up and was now using a rag to drip water onto his lips. “I hope he wakes up soon,” he murmured and Alexander looked at the way Aaron's eyes were moving behind closed lids.

Alex was pretty sure that 'soon' meant 'ever' in this case.  
“... dosia...” Aaron murmured, “Theo... Theo... dosia...”

Part of Alexander wanted to cry. Why did they have to suffer like this? Why couldn't they just be left in peace? Why this senseless slaughter? Aaron wasn't any older than Alex himself – hell, he looked like he was even younger, by a year or so. That would make him fifteen.  
Alex felt sick.

Suddenly there was a hand touching his and he glanced up to see John smiling sadly at him. “It's just a few more days.”

Alexander wasn't sure if John meant the Games or their lives. Either way, he was right. They would just have to survive a little longer, and then they wouldn't have to watch this anymore. 

Eliza... Eliza would manage. She always did. She was better at just smiling and nodding and pretending everything was okay than Alex had ever been. She was a fighter, too, but she could hide it underneath layers of makeup and pretty dresses – fighting in ballrooms rather than on the streets. If they actually managed to help her survive the Games, she would make things better, in a subtle, gentle way.

John sat down next to Alexander, his back turned to the fire as he stared out at the forest. “Come here,” he murmured and held out his arm.

Alex only hesitated for a moment before leaning against him. John was warm, and his hold made Alexander feel a little safer.  
“I'll be so glad once this is all over,” he whispered, shifting a bit. It was still rather early in the day, but it was still cold. Colder than it usually was in 4.  
John seemed to have felt him shiver because he pulled him even closer. Alexander rested his head against his shoulder and wrapped an arm around his waist in return.

“I don't want you to die here,” John whispered.  
Alex looked up at him sadly. “I don't want you to die either,” he replied, “But...”

“I know.” John sighed. “We can't all make it. And Eliza is the one who should.”  
“Don't let her hear you say that,” Alexander replied with a weak smile, “She'd give you a piece of her mind. But... her sisters need her, you know? Peggy is still a kid and... Angelica acts all strong, but she'd never get over losing Eliza.” Losing Alex would hurt her, but nothing would hit her harder than losing one of her sisters. 

John fell silent at that. 

Alexander remembered that he had younger siblings at home as well. John had sacrificed his own safety for them, had sacrificed his life because he'd never had any more intention of surviving the Games than Alex had.

“Soon enough, this whole nightmare will be over,” John whispered, and it was strangely comforting. Alexander felt John press a kiss to the top of his head and he smiled, feeling much warmer again.  
It was a shame they'd never get past any of this. They were doomed.

“Theo?”  
Alexander sat up straight, looking down at Aaron who was in turn staring up at them, unrecognizing.  
After a few moments, he blinked. “Alexander? John?” he rasped.

Alex reached out to squeeze his hand. “Yeah, it's us. You're safe.”  
Eliza and Lafayette were watching, but apparently they'd decided not to crowd Aaron right now.

“Should have... should have let me die,” Aaron whispered, “One enemy less.”  
Alexander huffed out a humorless laugh. “You're not much of a danger to us right now.”  
“I'll die anyway. You're... you're wasting your time,” Aaron insisted.

“What about Theodosia?” Alexander asked.  
Aaron's face darkened even more. “She... didn't make it. Those... those birds... they surprised us, and they killed... they killed the two from 6 and... and Theo went down and told me and Sally to run while she fought them off... a-and I heard the cannon before I passed out.”

“I'm sorry,” John whispered, “What... what about Sally?”

Aaron shook his head. “One of the birds followed us. It's... the one that injured me. It killed her. She... she was so small and scared.” A tear made its way out of his eye and ran down the side of his face.

Alexander wasn't sure what to do. Hoping for a hint on how to help, he turned to look at Eliza. Only that Eliza wasn't looking at him anymore. Instead she and Lafayette were facing the forest.  
Alex turned his head.  
He cursed.

Him and John were on their feet in seconds, John with Aaron in his arms. Lafayette approached them and took Aaron from John so he would be able to fight.  
They'd have to be fast now. Get back to the Cornucopia, the only free space in the Arena.

The Gamemakers had created a forest fire.

 

With the fire came the mutants.  
They'd been chased out of their hiding places by the flames and were now flying above them, seemingly more interested in fleeing than attacking right now. But their screeches were loud enough to give Alexander a headache as he ran behind John, pulling Eliza along.

It was strangely dark now. Apparently the time of day had been manipulated as well, to make the whole setting work. For the audience, this was probably fun and exciting.  
Alex quickly banned all thoughts of that. They just had to make it.

His sides hurt soon and Eliza next to him was panting and she let go of his hand to clutch her shoulder.

“Just... just a little further,” John shouted from in front of them.

Lafayette was weirdly enough the only one who didn't seem to mind running, even though they were carrying Aaron. Still, they were faster than Eliza and Alex. Maybe they just didn't feel pain or exhaustion anymore, maybe they simply didn't care enough. They just did what had to be done.

Just when Alexander felt like his lungs were going to burst, the trees suddenly stopped and they were out on the wide meadow where this had all started, the Cornucopia still in the circle of sand in the middle. It looked unreal. So much had happened since they'd last been here.

Behind them, the fire crept closer steadily. At least the wind carried the smoke away and they could still breathe.  
John slowed down now and Eliza sighed gratefully, walking with him towards the Cornucopia. Something still felt off.

Alexander looked around – there was smoke coming from the trees, but not only behind them. It seemed like the fire circled the entire Arena. And above them, there were the birds. 

The poor things couldn't get away either. Sure, they were mutants, bred to kill, but they were still animals to a point and they probably wanted to get out as much as the tributes did.  
As he was still watching the birds in the sky, Alex nearly ran against John who had stopped dead in his tracks.

John was staring at something on the other side of the clearing.  
“Get your bow. Lafayette, put Aaron down and stay back with Eliza,” he ordered quietly.

Alexander pulled out an arrow and took his bow off his shoulder, holding both in his hands as he watched the other three tributes – near the Cornucopia there was a girl, from 7 maybe? Alex had lost track of who was still alive at this point.

And on the opposite side of the clearing, there stood their most dangerous opponents.

Jefferson and Madison.


	22. Adrenaline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ARE YOU READY?! BECAUSE I am not

The screeches of the birds above them seemed to be getting louder each minute. Alexander could feel a headache forming but he pushed it away. All the others were probably as aware as him that if the Gamemakers decided to make the birds attack, they would all be ripped to pieces within a second.

It was warm now, way too warm, the fire creeping closer to the clearing steadily. In the distance, burning trees were falling, the noise adding up to the birds'.   
They would probably be safe on the sand – but there were three other tributes in their way.

Alexander automatically glanced towards John, raising a brow. John was trained for battle, he had to know what to do, right?

“There's no way Thomas will negotiate with us,” John murmured, “Besides... I don't think we have the time.”  
He was right. It seemed like the Gamemakers had set this up to be the grand finale, to force them to fight each other. There were still some tributes missing, specifically Dolley and Hercules, if Alexander hadn't missed anything, but they would probably be here soon. No one could stay out in the burning forest for much longer. They were being chased out of their hiding places.

“We outnumber them,” Alex pointed out quietly.   
Thomas and Madison were eyeing them cautiously. The girl from 7 seemed to be debating whether she should make a run for it – but where would she go?

“Yeah, Aaron and Eliza are gonna be such a great help,” John muttered. Eliza was holding up great but her shoulder wouldn't allow her to fight.

“It's still three against two,” Alex pointed out.  
John sighed. “It's Thomas Jefferson. I'll have trouble taking him on on my own. And you should be the last person who underestimates Madison.”

Alexander thought of how scared he'd been when he'd first looked at Eliza's wound. He nodded.  
“What are we going to do then?”

John's answer was cut off by a scream, then a gurgling sound. They both whipped around to see the girl from 7 dropping to the ground, an arrow stuck in her neck.  
Alexander's eyes jumped to Thomas who was smirking as he lowered the bow and handed it back to Madison so he could pull out his sword.

“We try to survive,” John replied to his earlier question and grabbed his knife.

A knife against a sword. 

Alexander held his bow tightly. John was good at what he did, he had a chance to win, even against Jefferson. And Alex would be right there at his side.

He looked over his shoulder at Eliza, Lafayette and Aaron. The latter seemed to have passed out again. Eliza and Lafayette looked terrified.  
“Should we ask Laf to help?” Alex whispered.

John shook his head. “Dolley might be around here. She's not dead yet. It might be a trap, and if we leave Eliza and Aaron alone...” He didn't need to finish that thought.  
They both turned back to Thomas and Madison. Both other tributes were approaching them at an almost leisurely pace.  
Alexander pulled back his bowstring, ready to shoot if he had to.

“Laurens!” Thomas shouted when they were merely ten paces apart – the only reason he had to shout were the screeches of the birds and the crackling of the forest fire. If the end of the world sounded like anything at all, it would sound like this.

“Jefferson,” John responded.

Madison was at Thomas' side in a simliar position to Alex's, keeping his bow ready and aiming at John like Alex was aiming at Thomas.  
“Seems like we're not getting anywhere like this,” Thomas noted, nodding towards Alexander who tensed up immediately, “How about a truce?”

Alex almost laughed. A truce? Now? Couldn't he see that the Gamemakers were trying to make them fight?  
“Where's the rest of your alliance?” he asked, “How can we know that Dolley won't attack us as soon as we feel safe?” Sally had been with Aaron – sadly, Aaron hadn't had time to tell them why she had left the Career alliance.

“Dolley's gone.” Thomas spat on the ground. “Ditched us without a second thought.”

A bitter smile tugged at the edges of John's mouth. “It's the Games, Thomas. What'd you expect?”

Alexander felt something touch his shoulder and he spun around only to find Eliza standing there, holding their hunting knife in her left hand.  
“Did you think I'd let you fight alone?” she whispered.  
Alex didn't know what to say. It wasn't like it was any safer back with Lafayette and Aaron, and if worse came to worse, he'd rather have Eliza at his side where he could protect her. He sighed and turned back to their opponents.

They had gotten even closer now, close enough so Alexander could see that Thomas' smile was only hiding his nervousness and that Madison was incredibly tense.  
“There's not that many of us left now,” Thomas said, “Nine. If you even want to count the kid from 12, he looks more dead than alive.” He nodded towards where Lafayette was trying to shield Aaron from their eyes.

“So? What do you suggest?” John asked.

Thomas grinned. “We fight.”

And with that, he attacked.

And the birds did the same.

~~~~~~~~~~

Everything was chaos. Alexander couldn't even see, wings flapping all around him. He'd crouched on the ground what felt like an eternity ago, his head buried in his arms to protect it from the sharp, unnaturally long beaks of the mutants – now, up close, they were bigger than any bird he had ever seen. About the size of a human, maybe.

Somewhere behind him, Lafayette was yelling something but he couldn't understand.

It took Alexander a long time to realize they weren't actually trying to hurt them. The swarm had pecked at them a little in the beginning, but now they seemed just as confused as they humans were.

Alex slowly got to his feet and looked around. Most of the others were in a similar position as he had been, not yet having realized that the birds weren't doing anything. Sure, they could, any moment now, but they weren't doing it.

This was a warning, Alexander realized. If they didn't fight, if they didn't all fight, the Gamemakers would just kill them off one by one.

Now Thomas seemed to have understood as well. He jumped to his feet, looking around frantically.  
“James!”  
Madison was crouching near him and Thomas pulled him to his feet. “It's okay, go run, get away from these beasts. They'll attack soon.” 

Madison stared at him for a moment, then looked back at Alexander before nodding.  
“Thomas...” He swallowed and then went on his tiptoes to press his lips against Thomas'.

Alex watched, irritated. Was this really the time?

They broke apart fast though, Thomas grinning like an idiot. “You better come back to me,” Madison warned.

The birds had all settled down by now.  
As Madison made his way through them, they hopped aside, apparently not bothered by him making an escape.

Thomas turned to Alexander, a wolfish grin on his face.

Part of Alex had always known it would come to this. Maybe he'd even wished for it.  
He didn't even know where John was, where Eliza was. They'd come to help him, sure. But he was the one who had to start the fight.  
He reached down to his belt and pulled out his knife – it was ridiculously tiny in comparison to Thomas' sword. More of a pocket knife than anything.

Thomas' mouth twitched.

And Alexander, irregarding all rules of logic, let out a wordless shout and hurled himself at him.

They both ended up on the floor, Alexander on top. He kicked at Thomas' hand, once, twice, three times until he dropped his sword. Then he added another kick to the weapon, making it slide away across the sandy ground.

Thomas punched him in the face and for a moment Alexander saw little lights dance in front of his eyes. Then Thomas grabbed his shoulders and turned them around, pressing Alex's back against the ground and pinning him there.

He reached for the hand with which Alex was still clutching the knife, but Alexander used the opportunity to stab at him. Cursing, Thomas pulled his bleeding hand back. It didn't seem like there had been much damage, but it was better than nothing.

A part of Alexander noticed that the birds were flying again – and now he knew why. They were building a wall between him and Thomas, and John and Eliza.  
The Gamemakers wanted to see them fight, they wanted Alex to die right now.

Alex writhed underneath Thomas, trying to get away, but his grip was deadly.

Long fingers found their way to Alexander's throat while the other hand kept his arm down. With his left, he tried to hit Thomas but his opponent's knee was in the way so he couldn't hit any parts where it would actually hurt.

Thomas squeezed his throat shut. And Alexander panicked instantly. He thrashed and kicked and hit every inch of Thomas that he could reach.

Thomas, apparently taken aback by his sudden ferocity, loosened his grip for only a moment. It was enough for Alexander to shake him off and crawl back, coughing.

Too late he noticed that in his desperation, he'd let go of the knife.  
Now it was in Thomas' hand and the other tribute got to his feet, approaching Alex.  
He still felt too weak to move, gasping for air. It had only been a few seconds but it had felt like he was going to die.

Thomas kicked his side and Alexander groaned, curling into himself. Another kick, harder, this time to his back. And another. And another.

“Stop,” Alex whimpered. Where was Eliza? Where was John? Couldn't they find a way around those birds? They had to, they just had to. He didn't want to die. God, he'd thought he was ready, but he didn't want to die now, not like this. It _hurt_.

And then Thomas was back on him, hand around his throat again, this time using his full body weight to keep him pinned down.

Alexander stared up at him with wide eyes. He had the knife, why couldn't he just make it quick? Was he really enjoying this?  
“Tho- Thomas,” he gasped, “Please...” The grip on his throat tightened even more. Alexander's vision was swimming now, his lungs were burning for air that they couldn't get.

Thomas raised the knife.

“Stop!” The shout came from the forest nearby. It was enough to make them hesitate and Thomas turned his head and Alexander did the same on instinct, even though it hurt. 

Dolley.

And Hercules.

They were both running towards them, dodging the birds that were trying to block their way.   
“Stop fighting!”

And then there was thunder. Or at least it sounded like thunder.

The mountain closest to them had been blown apart, its entire side now hidden by a veil of dust. An explosion?

Then, blinding light above them. The sun! 

The artificial time shift was gone. Did that mean... someone had broken the Arena!

Suddenly, Thomas was shoved off of him and then there was Eliza, pulling him to his feet.

The birds were flying towards the sky – the force field around the Arena was broken and it seemed like they had enough animal in them to want to be free.

But as they watched the birds, the hovercrafts appeared. At least a dozen of them.  
“There is no freedom,” Alexander whispered, voice breaking away. He reached up to massage his throat.

John and Thomas, who had been fighting on the ground, now got up as well, looking up at the sky.

“Look!” Eliza exclaimed, pointing at the mountain that had been blown up. Behind it, several more hovercrafts had appeared, only that those didn't look like any they had seen in the Capitol.

Dolley and Hercules had reached them now.  
“We need to get you all out of here!” Hercules shouted, gesturing towards the new hovercrafts, “These people are friends, they'll keep you safe!”

Alexander's mind was having trouble following everything, which was a rare occurrence.  
“What's going on?”  
No one answered his question.

The first Capitol hovercraft landed in front of them and the doors opened. Peacekeepers streamed out, standing in long, organized rows. On their sides and behind them, more hovercrafts came down. Soon the Peacekeepers had circled them completely.

Alexander looked around for Lafayette and found them carrying Aaron as a Peacekeeper shoved them forward towards them.

“John!”  
One of them stepped forward and pulled off his helmet.

Next to Alexander, John gasped loudly.  
“Dad! What... what's happening?” he asked.

Henry Laurens' face was dark. He gestured at all of the remaining tributes. “These people... are traitors. Spies,” he explained, then pointed at the strange hovercrafts – the ones from the Capitol that were still in the air were fighting them now, apparently trying to keep them from landing in the Arena. “They planned this attack.”

John looked at Alexander and he quickly shook his head. “I didn't... I didn't know anything about this,” he said quickly.

“Oh, really?” Henry Laurens asked, “Then why did we find secret information in the house of one Philip Schuyler?”  
Eliza was trembling next to Alex and he quickly reached out to take her hand.

“And why did we find these two-” He nodded to Dolley and Hercules who were now being held in place by two Peacekeepers. “Trying to communicate through code while they were in the Arena? You see, John, you never had to feel bad about fighting those people. They're all going to be executed now anyway. Come here and we'll announce you victor after all this. That's what you wanted, isn't it?” He held out his hand.

Alexander's breath stopped. His heart stopped. Everything did.

John wouldn't betray them like this, not now. Right?  
He bit down on his lip, hard, so he wouldn't say anything.

John looked at his father's outstretched hand. Then he turned to look at them, at Alexander, at Eliza, at Lafayette and Aaron, at Dolley and Hercules, at Thomas – and Madison whom Alex hadn't even noticed before this moment.

Then he took Alexander's hand.  
“I'm sorry, Father, but you're wrong. If you're going to execute them, you'll have to execute me, too.”

Alex didn't know whether to hug John or to cry. He didn't want him to give up his life like this. But at the same time... he was infinitely glad that John hadn't left him. He squeezed his hand and John smiled down at him.

Henry Laurens stared at them for a moment before he huffed. “If this is how you want it...” He stepped back, raising his hand. The Peacekeepers followed his command, aiming their guns at them.

Someone was humming a song.

No, not someone. Something.

Eliza had pulled her hand out of Alexander's grip and was now staring at her token bracelet, the beautiful, delicate silver thing that Angelica had given her. It was humming and vibrating on her wrist, and now it was starting to glow faintly.

“Cover your ears!”   
Was that Dolley?

Alexander stared at the bracelet, mesmerized as it began to glow brighter and brighter, the humming sound growing louder and louder until his ears started to hurt.

“Alexander!” John was there, pulling him into his arms, shielding him from the light but not from the noise.  
It was the last thing Alexander heard before he let himself slip away into the comforting embrace of unconsciousness.


	23. Over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wasn't going to upload this until Sunday, but in the light of recent events I think some of you are as grateful for any kind of distraction as I am. Take care, everyone! <3

When Alexander woke, his head felt like it had been stuffed with cotton. He kept his eyes firmly closed against the light that was coming from somewhere above him. There was a faint beeping noise to his right but he chose to ignore that as well. At least until it only worsened his oncoming headache and he groaned, prying one eye open.  
If he could just tell them to turn off whatever was beeping like that...

“Alexander!” A warm hand gripped his and the throbbing in his head got even worse for a moment before it ebbed down. He opened his second eye and looked towards where the voice had come from.

“You never call me Alex,” he noted. His tongue felt heavy. But he wasn't in pain anymore, not even his throat was hurting now. He was probably dead. And John was, too.  
Although... John looked too awful to be dead. Half his face was swollen and his arm was in a sling.

“What do you mean?” John asked softly, squeezing his hand.

Alexander pushed himself up. There was something stuck in his arm and he glanced down irritatedly. He moved to pull out the needle that was connected to a tube, apparently pumping some kind of liquid into his body. He'd never seen anything like this before. Maybe this was what hospitals in the Capitol looked like?

John reached out to grab his wrist. “Stop it, Alexander. You'll hurt yourself,” he murmured.

Alex tilted his head at him and jerked his wrist free so he could reach out to touch John's face, smiling dazedly.  
“You've only ever called me Alexander. Everyone else calls me Alex.”

John frowned. “Well, the first time I called you that, you told me not to, so I just... didn't. Do you want me to call you Alex?”

Alexander considered that for a moment, then he grinned. “No, I like the way it sounds when you say it.”  
He traced John's freckles, remembering how often he'd imagined doing that.

John stared at him for a few more moments before he pressed a quick kiss to Alex's fingers that left him blushing and got up. “I'll be right back.”

Alex laid back in his bed again and looked around curiously.  
Aaron was curled up in the bed next to him, turned towards the white wall of whatever this room was. He couldn't tell if he was awake or not but it seemed like his shoulders were shaking as if he was trying to keep in sobs.  
Alexander frowned. He turned to his other side to find Hercules sitting on Lafayette's bed, talking to them quietly. Lafayette was crying, too.

On the other side of the room, John was talking to a woman who looked a lot like the nurses in 4. So this was probably some kind of hospital. 

The nurse turned away from John and turned to another patient. It was – and Alexander's heart skipped a beat – Thomas Jefferson.

Suddenly his throat hurt again.  
And the memories came flooding back.

He sat up quickly, already moving to get out of bed when John reached him and gently pushed him back down.  
“What's wrong?”

Alex stared at him. “What happened? Where are we? Where's the Peacekeepers? And Eliza? Where is she?” Panic welled up inside him and he looked around the room again – but she wasn't there. Madison was sleeping next to Jefferson, he looked awfully small in the big hospital bed. But no Eliza.

Aside from them, there were half a dozen men and women that Alexander had never seen before. They didn't look like Capitol people either.

John took a deep breath. “Alexander, I-”

The door opened and Alex looked up only to freeze, eyes wide. Was he hallucinating? Surely he had to be.  
“God, Alex...” Angelica rushed to his bed immediately, hugging him carefully, obviously holding back due to his injuries.

The confusion was getting too much. Alex gently pushed her away, looking from her to George who had entered the room behind her.  
“What... what's going on? Please.”

Angelica, George and John exchanged a quick look.

“Oh, don't you dare keep this a secret from me now! I don't wanna hear that I'm too fragile or unstable or anything,” Alex said quickly, recognizing the signs.

George sighed.  
“Son...” Alex let it slide. “We were the ones that blew up the Arena.”

He paused for a moment, apparently to check Alexander's reaction. But Alex stayed completely still, watching him carefully. He wanted to know the whole story.  
“You're in District 13. They... they told everyone it had been destroyed, but that's not the truth. This is the resistance,” George explained and took a deep breath.

There was a resistance. Well, that was the best news Alexander had heard in years.

“Me and Angelica have both been spying for them for years.”

Angelica nodded. “That's why I gave Eliza the bracelet. It was activated by remote control when we needed it. After that, most of the Peacekeepers who were around her passed out. But there were others. There was a big fight. Lots of casualties,” she explained quietly.

That made... some sense.

Though it was all a bit much to wrap his head around right now. Alexander ran a hand over his face and looked at John. By the looks of him, he had taken part in that 'big fight'. “You didn't know about this, did you?”

John shook his head and took his hand again. “I woke up about a day ago. They told me everything then. Hercules and Dolley were spies, too.”

Dolley wasn't here either, Alexander noticed.

“Where is she?” he asked quietly, “And where's Eliza? Is she okay? She's safe, right?” Angelica wouldn't let anything happen to her. Angelica always took care of her sisters.

But the way she lowered her gaze told Alex everything he needed to know.

“No... no, no, she's fine! She has to be!”

“She's still alive,” George told him sadly, “But... the Capitol has her.”

“They contacted us this morning.” Angelica's voice broke and George put an arm around her.

John continued for her. “They told us about their hostages. To rub it in our face, probably.”

Alexander bit his lip, hard enough to draw blood. No, no this couldn't be happening. They had made it out of the Games, everything was supposed to be okay now! Why hadn't he been the one to get captured? Why Eliza, who deserved peace and happiness like no one else?

A tiny little voice in his head interrupted his thoughts and he quickly repeated what it had said. “Hostages? Plural?”

Angelica started crying now.

Alexander hadn't seen her cry since she'd been six years old. He reached out with his free hand to comfort her but she pulled away.  
“I'm so sorry, Alex! They came to our district, they were looking for me... I-I didn't think they'd take him, too...”

Him? Alex looked from her to George.

His former mentor closed his eyes for a long moment. When he opened them again, they were full of sadness. “They've got your brother.”

James.

No. No, Alex couldn't take this. He'd already suffered too much. Not his brother, too, not James. Why was the world doing this to him?  
He turned away from all of them, curling up on his side and squeezing his eyes shut. He didn't want to cry now.

There was silence for a long time, then the three others moved. John pulled the blanket all the way over Alexander's shoulders before he placed a piece of paper on his bedside table, then he left with George and Angelica.

Alexander waited until the door had closed until he picked up the paper. His eyes were strangely dry again. Maybe this was it, maybe there were just no tears inside him now. Eliza and James were both in some cell, hell, they were probably being tortured right now, for information they didn't have.

With shaky hands, he unfolded the paper.  
It was a drawing.  
A drawing of him, in the foreground, with Eliza next to him, holding his hand. Lafayette was in the background, staring wistfully at the sky.

John had captioned it.

_Friends,_ it said, in delicate handwriting.

And now, only now, did Alexander start crying.


	24. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? Another update out of schedule? Well, I woke up this morning and I found comments where people thanked me for providing a distraction. (I saw you and it made me very happy to know I helped, I might reply to all of you personally if my anxiety lets me.) So I decided not to wait with this. It's just some words, but it's pretty much all I can do to take your minds off of what's going on, if only for a couple minutes.

In the past three days, Alexander had learned to not be ashamed when he cried anymore. At least not in front of the others in the hospital.

Lafayette cried openly all the time, Aaron cried himself to sleep but didn't want anyone to see. But not even Jefferson commented on anything. Not that Alex talked to him. Every time he looked at the other boy, he felt his hands around his throat again.  
Aaron he actually had tried talking to. When the other boy had watched him and John sit together and talk with something like envy in his eyes, Alex had gone over to talk to him.

_“Hey, I know it must have been hard for you, but you're alright.” It had sounded like a hollow phrase, even then. That was all they had now, false comfort._   
_Judging by the venomous look Aaron had given him, Alex still wasn't the best at comforting._   
_“You don't even know what you're talking about. Theo isn't dead. She's in the Capitol, too. And they got Dolley, which means she'll tell them everything and they'll bomb us soon.”_

Alex hadn't tried talking to him much after that. He knew Aaron deserved comfort, but he didn't seem to be willing to accept any help.

So he'd learned more about 13, about how the rebellion had grown in the underground for so long.

He'd also learned that Peggy and Mr. Schuyler were here as well. And that George had been elected president in the couple of days that Alex had been out – there had been major changes after the open attack and people had always supported George. He just hadn't been able to do much for them as long as he'd been a spy.

John and Angelica had been his only visitors, though Angelica was rather busy most of the time.

John though... John was almost always there when Alex woke up. He told him about the battle in detail, about how Henry Laurens had run off right in the beginning, how he'd tried to defend Alex and Eliza but had been held down as they carried the unconscious Eliza away. How the rebels had showed up just in time to kill the Peacekeepers trying to take Alex.

Alexander shuddered as he thought about how close he'd been to getting captured as well. At least like this he had a chance to save them somehow.

After three long days, he was finally released from the hospital. He got a new change of clothes and the promise that there would be more essentials waiting at his new living unit that he would be sharing with John. Alex was grateful that he wouldn't have to live alone.

John picked him up from the hospital and guided him through the dimly lit corridors. Alexander already missed the sun. Just being away from the ocean had been bad enough but living under the surface like this? He could never get used to that.

John talked to him about all the new things he'd discovered in 13, about the rules and his duties and about the other people. Alexander mostly tuned him out until they reached a plain, grey door that John opened by pushing some numbers into a pad next to it. It slid open and they both entered the room.

It was small, but not smaller than Alexander's and James' home back in 4. There was another door, probably leading to a bathroom. Two beds were standing on opposite walls. Alexander would ask John to push them together right away. Sleeping alone didn't seem like a good idea.

“Home, sweet home,” John murmured.

Alexander looked over at him.  
“So... this is it? We're just... some soldiers now? We'll do what they say and hope they know what they're doing?”

John shook his head. “George will listen to us. You know he will.”

“That still doesn't mean...” It didn't mean George would be willing to take the risks needed to save the hostages from the Capitol.

“Hey... I know,” John said quickly and put his hands on Alexander's shoulders. “If they don't help us, we'll just free them ourselves. But it doesn't hurt trying to cooperate for now.”

Alex swallowed hard. We. That meant John would be with him the entire way. 

Of course he would.

He smiled faintly, looking up at John. They'd come so far. It felt like an entire life was behind him, and yet, everything had just started.

Alexander cupped John's cheek. John understood within a moment and leaned down so Alex could reach him. Alex closed his eyes, new tears running down his cheeks, and closed the distance, hungry for comfort and closeness and love. 

All those times thinking about what it would feel like to kiss John, he'd never thought that it might taste like salt and sadness.

~~~~~~~~~~

At the same time, hundreds of miles away in the Capitol, Elizabeth Schuyler was cowering on the cold floor of her isolation cell, squinting up at the bright light that flooded the tiny room as the door was pushed open.


End file.
